have a minion

I am very unlikely to get a minion anytime soon.

and I’ve just realized…. I am a minion.

At one of my previous jobs, and I got the dullest bulb in the box.

The dude was a kiss-ass and was completely incompetent.

Didn’t even last a week. Was there three of five days, screwed up everything he touched. He called in sick on the fourth, never showed on the fifth, so my boss fired him.

but nothing really panned out. Guess I will have to seek nonhuman minons.

So how about it? No pay and no benefits, any takers?

I had a couple of them, actually, when my Evil Empire™ was at it’s high point. But I had one who was really, really dedicated (or so I thought; well, he WAS dedicated, only not necessarily to me) . . . he was the Minion of Chocolate (which is how he planned to control all the women in the world, for my benefit, of course), but then over Christmas he did a dastardly thing . . . he sent ME a huge box of my favourite chocolates, and while I was in a chocolate-induced endorphin high, he TOOK OVER MY EMPIRE!!!

Who would have thought that such a sweet little confection could destroy all my beautiful wickedness!

Ah well. So, now he’s in control and he seems to think I’m his minion. But no worries. I have plans to retake my empire. Soon. And boy, oh BOY will he be sorry. Minion of Chocolate? I don’t think so. He’ll be the minion of cleaning TOILETS before I’m through with him.

:D

She’s the greatest. She started doing things for me when she pledged my sorority and just kept going. Unfortunately she left the state, but it was really helpful if I was cooking dinner and needed something from the store or just a papertowel but was sitting and too lazy to get up. She’s great

this would be so useful and highly amusing.

this is a day on which i could really put a minion to good use.

where can i really get a good minion these days?

Baby? No.
Cats? No.
Husband? So very no.

Maybe a dog is a good starter minion.