Be a better sister and daughter

i want to be a better person… can some PLEASE HELP ME????

This is really more of an ongoing thing, but I know if I keep up doing what I am doing I will be fine.

I go over twice a week to see my Mum on a Tuesday and a Saturday (once a month on the Tuesday I take my daughter too, but she always comes on the Saturday) and I phone her everyday just to check in. I have taken an even more active role in looking after my Grandmother (my Mum’s Mum) so that my Mum doesn’t have to worry about her so much and volunteer my husband and I to do all the bad jobs (like take down decorations screwed to the outside of the house in the rain and come Summer mow the lawn before it starts to rain!).

My Dad well he doesn’t really come in to this. He has caused too much pain and heart ache and doesn’t seem to think it appropriate to call or email or visit with any frequency and as it breaks my daughters heart not to see or hear from him I have to put her first and make sure she is okay so a call a few times a year will have to do for him. Although I have forgiven him btw!

My sister – well she is due in February and I guess that I will suddenly find a lot more things to do with her then! At the moment the phone calls and the cakes being sent over (she lives about twelve minutes away!) and occassional popping in so I can eat her food instead of mine (!) will have to do!

So my family and I got the whole argument thing sorted and everything was going hunky. I actually thought that I could cross this one off my list as I was doing that well. Then we found out that my father was a cheating son of a hurumph and having an affair…

So now I have had to re-evaluate me and them again.

Life can stink huh?!

If I evaluate myself for the past years, I can say that I have not been one. Or at least, my family loves me despite of my shortcomings and imperfection. I’d like to make amends on what I lack of over the years and be a better person overall.

Well, I thought I was doing great until my sisters boyfriend decided to be an idiot at a friends birthday meal the other night and I snapped at him. Now my sister isn’t talking to me until I apologise.

Now following from her disastorous relationship with her last partner (whom nobody liked but didn’t dare say anthing to her) I don’t want to apologise to the idiot when I don’t like him and don’t think that he and she are heading for old age together and probably won’t last past Christmas… hmmm.

Anyway as she lives at home with Mum and Dad, I think that Mum is being short with me as she has sided with my sister…

Well I left tickets with them for the fashion show tonight (which I have paid for!) so if they turn up they turn up and we can have fun, but as they turned down my offer of a lift Who knows?!

I am not a bad sitter or daughter… I just think that sometimes I am not good enough! and I have to improve my relationships with my mom and brothers..