Untitled
4 months ago
Life seems to be becoming more and more unmanageable. The tighter I grip onto control the less secure I feel and the less I like myself. I feel very little happiness, passion, focus, or direction.
How to learn how to let go of things that are beyond my control
It made me
serene 
"Learning to let go and not stress about things I was no control over was the best thing I could've done for myself!"
How I did it: Lots of prayer and learning who I was as a person. I had to understand I don't have to have complete control over every situation and every person. Everything happens for a reason and it was ok if I wasn't in control of the outcome.
Lessons & tips: I learned that I only have control over myself and my own actions. And life isn't meant to be "perfect", it's ok if things don't go smoothly.
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I'm working on it
2 years ago
I met with my therapist today, it’s been almost 3 years since I was last in therapy. This time I honestly believe I’m ready to make the changes that need to be made in my lfe. I’m in a good place to start therapy, I want to really work towards making positive changes and ultimately being happy with my life.
The Gambler
4 years ago
I have a problem with trying to hold onto things a blind person can see won’t work. Well, I shouldn’t say things, I should say person or a relationship. I don’t know why I can’t just let it go, because me holding on and hoping that things will work out won’t work if the other person doesn’t want it to work. I mean have you ever wanted something to work so bad that you just hold on in the hopes that one day things will be as they should. Maybe they’ll start to care, maybe they’ll wake up and realize that you’re all they ever wanted or needed, maybe they’ll love you back. I swear I could kick my own ass for holding on, when I know what the outcome….....I loose. I don’t get to collect $200, I can’t live on Park Ave., I can’t pass Go, I have to go straight to jail!
I know why I hold on, because I’m just hoping that things will work out in the end. I pray that I don’t change while I’m holding on and patiently waiting. I pray that I don’t become a bitter bitch who sprews evil darts to anyone who crosses my path.
I hold on because my Great-grandma told me when I was young, “if you send out love, love will be returned to you”. I wanna talk to her and ask what did I do wrong??? I sent the love out and I didn’t get it back, was my love wrong???
I hold on because what if I give up too soon before things turn around??? Then I would’ve made a hasty decision, and I would feel bad.
MY question is when do you let go???? One of my favorite songs is by Keeny Rogers, “The Gambler”.........I need to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away, know when to run.
I don’t know what to do, I’m confused, tired, scared, anxious, a nervous wreck, hopeful, doubtful…...I’m on a emotional rollercoaster.
Ok, enough of my mindless ramblings, life goes on….....
