Go on a photography trip with my dad

I said in my last entry on this goal that I’d have a think about what to do about it. Well, I didn’t. In classic procrastinating style, I simply forgot about it.

Strangely enough, it worked. Yesterday, my dad asked my sister to come out with him today and take photos. He also asked if I wanted to come along. This goal immediately sprang to my mind, so I said yes.

It was a wonderful idea. My mother left today, travelling interstate to live away from my sister and I for the first time in our lives. Admittedly none of us have lived in the same house for a few years, but at least we were all close by.

Mum spent last night over at my sister’s place last night and this morning my sister was understandably emotional. The trip was a good way to put that behind us and to spend some time with our dad.

We went to one of the local universities. It was pretty quiet with everyone on holidays, which was just perfect for us. The place is a fascinating mixture of architecture, sculpture and plantings of both native plants and European. There was even a small Japanese garden. My dad and my sister happily snapped away, while I trailed after them, pointing out other potential photographs, toting the tripod and smiling at their antics as they tried to take the perfect picture.

The only downside was that it was hot and we were out a bit too long. My sister became a bit tired and cranky. It happens though, and overall we all had a wonderful time. It was a fantastic way to spend time together and I really enjoyed it.

I’m not quite sure what to do with this goal. The trip I talked about last entry didn’t eventuate, although I did go on a short motorbike trip with him and a bunch of his friends.

I suppose what this goal is really all about is spending time with my Dad. Over the last few months I’ve been making more of an effort to sit down for at least a few minutes with him when he gets home in the afternoon and have a cup of tea together. It’s been nice and I’ve enjoyed it.

But I suspect this goal has partly been formed out of guilt—guilt that I “do things” with my mum and “spend time” with my dad, and guilt that I always turn him down when he asks if I want to “do things”. But there is a key difference between “doing things” with Mum and “doing things” with Dad. With Mum, it would usually be just the two of us, a way for her to spend time with me, since she no longer lives with me. With Dad, it usually involves lots of his friends tagging along and he asks me along not to spend time with me but because he thinks I might be interested or enjoy the experience, trying something different.

I think I shall have to meditate on this further, but perhaps it’s time to morph this goal into something different, or even give up on it entirely, as something that wasn’t quite appropriate, despite good intentions.

It seems like there is an opportunity for this. My sister bought a new motorbike recently. She and my dad have been talking about doing a ride through the hills, stopping off at my grandmother’s overnight then riding home again. Dad asked if I’d like to come along. Remembering this goal and the fact I’ll soon be finished with uni I said yes.

It’s not a photography trip and it’s not just the two of us. But it is something he’s interested and a chance to spend time, so I call it in keeping with the spirit of this goal.

A firm date hasn’t yet been set.

Although I live with my dad, we don’t often do things together, especially when compared to the amount of things I do together with my mum. Some of that is due to the fact that I don’t live with my mother and therefore I try to make the most of the time that we are together, I suppose. Some of it is also probably due to the fact that I don’t have as many interests in common with my dad. Still, I feel guilty for turning him down all the time, especially when he goes to the trouble of asking so often. So I thought it might be a good idea to include this in my list of things to do in 2006. Photography is my Dad’s passion, and although it’s not really an interest of mine, I enjoy seeing the world in a different way. I thought it would be a good way of spending more time together.