get counselling

I made some bad decisions and not being able to cope with the outcome of those led me to make yet more bad decisions. I thought I could cope with it by myself but I can’t so I’m going to accept the counselling I was offered and hopefully be able to move on.

I finally found a great therapist at the beginning of this year, when I was 31. I’m still seeing her, but I consider the act of having found a great counsellor and sticking with her to be a major accomplishment!

I kept putting this off until I eventually had a breakdown at uni. My mentor sent me to the doctor and I had an appointment with a different one this time. she immediately talked to me about depression and was so lovely that I always see her now. She put me on anti-depressants and has been checking on me regularly.

I thought counselling would be a quick fix so when I didn’t seem to be getting anywhere, even after the 3rd or 4th session, I thought it wouldn’t work. But gradually it did and I now realise that a quick fix couldn’t possibly deal with everything that was wrong – I needed to take my time to get it right.

My advice for anyone thinking about counselling would be:
1. Stick with it, the results aren’t immediate but when it starts to work you’ll know it.
2. Allow ‘blips’. It’s not a constant improvement and setbacks are ok. It just means there’s something else you need to look at.
3. Open up. It took me a while but unless you’re honest, you won’t get anywhere.

I would never have thought that anti-depressants and counsellling would be enough to get me over the depression, especially since I suffered from it for so many years. But now that it’s sorted out, I feel like a whole new person and I’m confident that I’ll not get into that state again.

Be brave and take the plunge guys, you’re worth it! :)

This will have to wait until UCL.

This will have to wait until next semester at university.

I have now got an appointment with the doctor and next i will speak to the counsillor. Three months counsilling should be very helpful.

My self-esteem is non-existant, I have no confidence and I’m prone to beating myself up about things. Every time I get depressed, I think about getting counselling, then things pick up and I think I’m ok. But I always slip back to the dark place.

So I’ve decided to see the student counsellor when I go back after the summer break. I can’t keep kidding myself that things are all right. I won’t learn to be happy or get over my past without help. And I’m writing it down this time to force myself to do it. This way I can’t forget and I can’t make excuses. The bad things in my past aren’t my fault, but the bad things in my future are. Only I can change and I have to learn to ask for help when I need it.

I need help. I can see there are many things wrong. I feel too alone and yet I isolate myself. I keep too much to myself and it’s killing me. I’m waiting for things to be normal again, but right now, I feel like a mess. Why is life so black and empty? I feel so alone. I feel like disappearing all the time.

It’s been a while since I picked this goal, and I’ve done nothing about it, so I guess I don’t need to do it. I’m okay; I still get depressed, but I don’t feel the need to get counselling any more.

At least made the appointment this week. And looking at a book on addictions featuring the ‘Human Givens’ approach. Looks pretty promising.