overcome my creative block

I use to draw…I use to draw a lot… then i found the greatest thing in the world…Adderall…I could go for days drawing with nothing else being of any importantce…I realized they were bad for me… I quit…Havent drawn anything since…

My passion is writing and everytime I sit down to write a passage other than essays, I find myself without inspiration. I try to write in my journal at least once a week and every time I begin to write it seems pointless and the thoughts in my mind are impossible to inscribe on paper. My mind seems to function much differently than most and it is very difficult for me to communicate with others. I am thinking of what I want to say to them regarding our conversation or whatever is relevant and I can not form sentences that they or I can comprehend. I wish I could overcome my creative block and begin a fabricated novel of my life or a historical fiction novel between the past two centuries.

Three sessions and KA-BLAM!
No more block, creative juices flowing to the max!
I wouldn’t have believed it…
You have no idea how good it feels :D

Yeah, there’s a definite pattern there, and this time I really hope I’m not going to bury my head in the sand and let it prevent me from fulfilling myself.

Basically, it goes like this:

First I begin a new creative activity, very motivated, eager to improve my skills. Fueled by an intense energy, I become gradually better, generally pretty fast.

Then I reach a level when I’m only a few steps away from becoming, say, more than a simple amateur, and BAM! Something happens and I just lose my mojo or something and the whole thing comes to some kind of fucking nuclear winter. I don’t even dare to try to continue, in spite of the fact that the desire and ideas are still there and kicking!

Then, after some time, since I’ve stopped practicing, I realize I’ve lost it. And then I loathe myself for being such a terrible slug.

So… what exactly happens?

Deep down, I think it’s linked with a paradoxical fear of (relative) success, a success that would somehow trap me into an identity (writer, photographer, musician, whatever…) that would necessarily be a reduction of myself as a human being.

But then again, the pain, the tension in my brain when I try to bypass the block… there’s got to be something hidden deep inside… hence my appointment to try EricksonianHypnosis, which, I’ve heard (thanks Ma., Ar. & Br.) might just do the trick.

More soon_ish...