stop the hurting inside

...to stop hurting, is to get this off my list and let gooo. no one can be not hurt, so hey, i’m embracing it. feel better, lighter already. bye bye :)

i will never stop as it is me
and for me there is no cure!!!

altho it’s not easy to just talk to anyone these days… (you can talk, but how many are willin to listen?) i do feel better.. tomorrow’s awal muharram. the new year. :) even tho im sick, i feel better. spiritually, i love being in this place. in this new place where i can learn and learn and never stop learning. :)

Well, i’ve done it for the moment. Talk to someone if you want it to stop. Right now. GO.

How I wish I could surrender my soul;
Shed the clothes that become my skin;
See the liar that burns within my needing.
How I wish I’d chosen darkness from cold.
How I wish I had screamed out loud,
Instead I’ve found no meaning.

I guess it’s time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure’s the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I’ve heard what they say, but I’m not here for trouble.
It’s more than just words: it’s just tears and rain.

How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;

Hold memory close at hand,
Help me understand the years.
How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.
How I wish I would save my soul.
I’m so cold from fear.

I guess it’s time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure’s the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I’ve heard what they say, but I’m not here for trouble.
Far, far away; find comfort in pain.
All pleasure’s the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
It’s more than just words: it’s just tears and rain.

really want a beer…but have a job tomorrow…have to get to bed….

“Those problems weren’t enough to commit suicide over,” is often said by people who knew a completed suicide. You cannot assume that because you feel something is not worth being suicidal about, that the person you are with feels the same way. It is not how bad the problem is, but how badly it’s hurting the person who has it.
By David L. Conroy, PhD

I put in the emphasis. For the record, I am NOT suicidal.

I will drink to this goal. Cheers! Good thing I’m already home otherwise I would have to worry about drunk driving…wait…I don’t have a car…yes…I’m broke….never mind…

I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

how can i stop the hurting on the inside…
when i’ve hurt others in return?

I lost my daughther when she was 3 weeks old (she was a preemie) it has been a little over 2 years now but I miss her so much, and I cant seem to get pregnant again, i know another baby will not replace the one I lost but it will comfort me becuase I will have a baby to love and hold like I should have already…