For the last month, I’ve been feeling really stagnant. Now, I’m realizing that I felt unchallenged by my life and goals. Partly it’s because I’m not looking forward or creating, I’m just hanging out.
That is stopping now, immediately becuase I was basically acting like a shadow in my own life. Although it can be difficult to jump back into life, I think I’ve found the right door. Each day, I’m aiming to have a task list that equates to my day being fulfilled. Many of these will be steps toward existing goals, but sometimes, it’ll just be about getting out there and trying something! 19 months ago
Today, noticing it, I imagine it’s because I knew that I’d need to be pried out of a pathological sadness over lost time, and refocused on the present and on the time available – which I do need to be, today.
I’ve finally gotten to work on “making this place a home.” I’ll share the pictures with you as soon as I can get them into a cool flip-book video. That’s my aim, anyway :)
But… boy. I don’t know if it’s the stress of moving, or stumbling on old photos and journals, or just being tired, or being kind of lonely in this process, but I find myself between boxes having to stop and lean on counters to cry about the past a whole lot. Eh. I suppose it could be PMS. Or the rain and the beginning of fall.
Whatever. I just hate this thing where I obsess about lost time and lost opportunities and lost people and loss.
I’ve got a good 40 years left. Every ounce of energy spent on looking backward is energy I can’t use on living my life right now. 20 months ago
I’m feeling really uncertain about my life’s path this week. My emotions are shades of gray or nothing. The projects I’ve started are lying around the house. Class is starting on Tuesday and I’m not excited anymore, despite the fact that it’s an independent study in web programming.
I don’t know how to jump start my happiness and motivation, how to dig them out from deep within me where they’re running below the current.
For the last month, weight loss has been my focus and now, it is feeling harder than usual especial at social events. I feel as though I need to choose between going out and eating healthy, at least until I get enough willpower together to stay strong during social situations. 20 months ago
I order from the universe a productive day that allows me to get back into the groove of my rails, where I enjoy my creative work, take care of my challenging work, and relax into my mundane work. I also order a healthy, take charge mindset. 21 months ago
but also sad, this “comic strip.”23 months ago
Earlier this year a group of my friends all agreed we should do a group camping trip. Then, one of those friends offered to let us stay at her parent’s cabin/lake property a couple hours away. After discussing the event, we agreed that would be the best option. We did initially discuss some options and I thought we clearly expressed most of our expectation.
Now, our friend has stated that her mother insists on buying and cooking all of the meals, but if we really want a particular meal or dish, we can bring the ingredients.
I am really struggling with this for several reasons:
- I’m a vegetarian, who is also lactose intolerant so I prefer to choose my own meals
- I’m someone who loves to cook and takes pride in creating my own meals
- I’m an adult who takes responsibility for acquiring my own foodstuff both at home and for events that I plan.
Any suggestions for how to handle this situation or a potential compromise? 23 months ago
After a rough week or so, I’m back out of the fog bank, but I’m still feeling a bit lost. I really need to lose weight. I have so many reasons but everytime I start, I get sucked into my negative thought cycle. It almost seems as though I need to trick myself into enjoying weight loss, if it’s ever going to work—that’s part of what the bike riding is for, but I know that my eating habits need to change. I’m up at my in-laws cabin for the weekend which means snacking way too much because they have tons of delicious snacky food that I find extremely tempting in this very relaxed (boring) place. 23 months ago
My mind is caught in a fog bank for the moment and I’m having difficulty seeing past these thoughts and feelings. When I’m in these moments, it’s much harder to move forward on my goals, so I may be a bit absent for a while. 23 months ago
In this little entry, I’m going to begin the ground work to define a vision of my ideal self. I’ve tried different versions of this exercise in the past and they haven’t “stuck” in my life long enough to make a chance, but I feel stickier than usual now. I am ready to redefine myself, to reach out and make a leap compelled by momentum and faith.
I want to be a person who:
knows inner joy
cares for others
According to Barrie Davenport, of Live Bold & Bloom the next step is to sketch out examples of when and how I will display these characteristics.
As a healthy person, I will:
exercise my body and mind daily,
eat healthy meals composed of real food,
drink plenty of water every day, and
have morning and evening self-care routines.
For me, being compassionate means that I will:
display unconditional love and understanding toward my husband, even when I feel as though he may be in the wrong;
listen intently when a friend or family member comes to me for support; and
consider the repercussions of my actions on the world before acting.
Having patience entails:
projecting calm and peacefulness when other drivers act in ways that seem aggressive or out of turn;
speaking in an even tone and normal volume when I feel upset or hurried;
listening without concern for when I might enter into a conversation; and
giving myself and others space (or whatever else they might need) when they request it.
I think I’ll start here and see if I can start to demonstrate or at least pretend to have some of these qualities… until they start to feel natural. 23 months ago
to receive repeat cheers from several fellow 43T users. I have an on again, off again relationship with cheering. When life is extremely busy, I have difficulty justifying the time required to find new people to cheer, so I tend to just cheer the users that I follow. That said, it’s really rewarding to locate users who have great goals, either because they have meaning to me or are obviously extremely meaningful to them. 2 years ago
Since I had to work at the office today to cover for a sick co-worker, my list for tonight will be a little longer:
Complete next 3 steps for Habit Course Sand & glue the last chair Determine and plan for next clutter bug step Tune up my bike2 years ago
Last night, I participated in Leo Babauta’s (of Zen Habits) webinar about creating habits. Little did I know, that small free fascinating step would lead to a leap. At the end of the webinar, Leo introduced a new online course that he would be leading with two other bloggers, including Katie Tallo. I’ve been following Katie’s blog Momentum Gathering for about two months and her writing really speaks to me.
So I paid and registered for the course, right then and there. It was a bit pricey but I believe it will be very worth whiled. Especially because the course includes about 10 different eBook downloads, most of which I’ve considered buying at one moment or another. 2 years ago