who calls and says hello to me and assures me she has my back. 6 months ago
which is hard to imagine.
one year ago my mom told me her cancer had moved to her brain.
that was a trigger. maybe it is why the siblings are all treating each other so well.
this is the first time that I feel like I can be me. I am very happy with me now in the family. not sure what was alive with my mom being alive, but something has shifted and it is some freedom to be me.
not pigeon-holed into where the family thinks I belong. Living where I belong for me. Very happy. Very grateful today that I have siblings. It has been a long time since I felt that way. 7 months ago
that today worked out well for llama.
ode to ora lee
all good. 7 months ago
the event went well
completely relaxed this weekend
enjoying solitude for a bit
watching the colorful birds outside the window
cozied under a soft blanket
with the fire warming the room…just enough…just perfect. 8 months ago
every time I walk into my living room
or come down my stairs.
or look out into my garden
or see the birds fight for seeds
or chase the deer from eating the bird seed
or put my feet up
or have someone to hold
or have love in my life
or give love – and feel it
that i have opened my heart to feel each day
that i have managed to live through very tough times
that i have survived…no, thrived
that i have peace in my life
that i have the most spectacular home i could have imagined
on a human scale and i have reached a place
of everything i have being enough -
way beyond the imagination of enough
and life it very, very good.
thank you. thank you. universe. thank you. 8 months ago
Having retreated from my Goals somewhat over the past months and particularly over the Xmas/New Year break, today I’ve decided to say Farewell to this goal.
The need for an overhaul and change is within me but I can’t quite pinpoint what it is that I want out of 2014 and I’m struggling to define anything in my days & nights that uplifts me.
Til when clarity comes. 10 months ago
that I am moving in this week to my spectacular new home
that I am picking up my daughter tomorrow and will spend 2 months together
that I have everything that I need
that I am in good shape for the move
that the weather is going to be 51 degrees on my moving day!
that we have friends coming to visit
that a friend wants to partner
that strangers want to partner
that I am partnering with a stranger who has a mutual friend
that I trust my instincts about this stuff
that a new contract will be forthcoming on a couple of fronts
that I have a safety net now
that things will get better from here
that the year was pretty spectacular – despite loosing my mom
that the life i have lived in my head is coming alive!
that i will be ok and everything will work out alright.
that the sun will shine so brightly in the new house.
the light is so happy in that space.
the house is so uplifting.
I am so happy. I have a happy house. I am making the home of my dreams.
Who gets to do that??
So happy. So grateful. 11 months ago
It felt good this morning to get back to my morning river walk and today, I am feeling Grateful & Happy....
*for an easy, traffic-free drive to the river this morning
*for the sea breeze keeping me cool beneath the harsh summer sun
*to see familiar faces along the river pathway
*for a good coffee start
*to the day being not to hot to do chores
*for a flash of enthusiasm that has eluded me of late
*that I’ve managed to get most of my Xmas Cards posted
*for this 43T Community that never ceases to amaze me!
Newstead Park, Dec’1311 months ago
that I have been getting together with girlfriends every week to get reacquainted and working on keeping these relationships alive.
that my uncle reached out to me to help him and his wife.
that my cousin reached out to me to do our annual outing.
that my entire family is coming in for Thanksgiving.
I will be taking time to renew, refresh and revive for year end.
that my best friend is coming to stay with me soon.
that I will have a guest room for friends to visit.
that the universe provides what I need – even when I don’t know how I will manage it.
that life is unfolding as it should. all is right with the world. 12 months ago
Feeling very Grateful & Happy today…
~ that I awoke to discover a beautiful bunch of Australian Native
flowers in a vase on the kitchen table – a ‘just because’ gift from D
~ that I re-commenced my morning River Walk and meditated for 10mins
beneath the beauty of a blooming red Poinciana Tree
~ to see the fishermen patiently waiting for a bite on their line
~ for the blue skies and sunshine above glistening river waters
~ for chilled water and air-conditioning
~ that I’ve caught up with all the housework 12 months ago
Happy & Grateful this weekend, for…
~ the wonderful news of the birth of a baby girl and that Mum, Dad and Baby are all doing well :-)
~ an invitation to dinner with our ex-neighbours in the new house!
~ being able to share cultural differences with others
~ for Mum’s strength and faith
~ for the hours spent with my dear friend M yesterday, enjoying breakfast in the sunshine, a stroll through the antique centre and a show & tell of things to come
~ for the beautiful summer dress D bought me on a whim!
~ for blue toenails and flip-flops that match
~ that there are so many wonderful people here in the 43T hood that I am so blessed to know! 12 months ago
Taking a day out to catch-up and gain some new momentum, I am Grateful & Happy....
~ to hear the laugh of the Kookaburras on waking this morning
~ to discover a surprise bunch of flowers, already arranged in a vase on the dining table at breakfast!
~ to be celebrating another anniversary with D (2yrs & 2 months!)
~ to be blessed with the love of someone so amazing
~ for the rain, thunder and lightning
~ to see the neighbour’s little girl wearing bright yellow gumboots, playing in puddles after the rain
~ that I haven’t yet ‘lost the plot’ with all that is happening
~ for the chiropractor’s back-cracking techniques!
~ that the bills are now all paid
~ that I received a wonderful letter from a dear 43T friend earlier in the week (Thank you so much) xx
pic taken in Montmarte, Paris May 201312 months ago
The start to my week has been wrought with tension and re-sounding conflict and I’m craving calm.
Grateful & Happy today…
~ that it’s cooler and less humid
~ that Mum seems calmer and less uptight
~ that Dad is happy in his new hospital room
~ for having a clear slate from ironing & washing
~ that I was able to re-schedule an appointment without hassle
~ that tonight’s dinner is already prepped
~ that there are no tradesmen hammering at next door’s renovation
~ for Merlo coffee
pic taken in the Whitsunday Islands, Aug 201313 months ago
Grateful that I can afford such a wonderful place
Happy that I can imagine the life I have lived in my head, now able to live for real in the house.
A grown up’s house. Not a transitional space. A space to call home forever.
At least my forever.
Happy that I can dream once again. About a life that will be outdoors.
That I will have wonderful and beautiful soaring spaces.
That I will have a yoga studio.
That I will have indoor spaces that make the heart sing.
That I will have cozy corners that will be wonderful to curl up into.
That I will be safe and secure and surrounded in all things nice.
That I will have a garden of a lifetime…that someone took the time to build and start…and I get to build upon.
That I can have my moon garden.
That I will have a waterfall.
That I will have the most spectacular office. And listen to the waterfall.
That I can have a kitchen that looks like the deck of a starship.
That I can watch the sunset from the deck of the starship enterprise.
That we can open our home to invite family and friends to join us.
That I can host a graduation party for my daughter.
That I can host garden parties for my favorite charities.
That I can breathe in a new community and find the joy in that.
That I can breathe new life into my existence and renew my passions.
That I can have a painting studio.
That I can have my outside room.
Several of them!
That I can get a hot tub and my sauna.
That I can indulge in all the ways I have longed for,
And that I can do that now. 13 months ago
Goodness knows what I’d do without the friendships I have?
Feeling very Grateful & Happy....
~ for the wonderful catch up I had with Restlessagain and Phensoz earlier in the week; they made my day! :-)
~ for the lovely emails I have received from friends afar lately
~ for my friends here at 43T – amazing!
~ for the spontaneous dinner invite and night out with my friend M last night; it was just what I needed.
~ for the care of neighbours
~ for the depth of friendship I have with D
pic of Cockatoos on our balcony in the Whitsundays Aug 201313 months ago
Spring blooms beautifully here, with vivid colour floating against blue skies. This time of year makes me feel Grateful & Happy for…
~ Jacaranda Trees in bloom in all the parks and surrounding suburbs, scattering their purple rain in the afternoon breeze
~ Songbirds and the conversations of Crows in conference
~ Fire engine red Flame Trees, especially the one now in bloom on our block
~ Butterflies aflutter in our garden; Blue & Black, Yellow Gold.
~ White against Green, the Star Jasmine bursting with scent against an emerald backdrop 13 months ago
Grateful & Happy today…
~ that I got up feeling okay with the day
~ that I went for my River Walk
~ that I Meditated for 10mins
~ that I stretched my body
~ that the early morning traffic ran smoothly and without halt
~ that Mum was in a calm mood and wasn’t in her usual defence mode
~ that there was 1 parking space left outside the hospital
~ that the coffee shop choice proved to be a good one!
~ that I was able to pick D up from work
~ that I didn’t have to rush through the day 13 months ago
Still surprised by my continued effort to get up and go walking by the river (it’s been almost 2months now), mornings have now become something I look forward to!
Feeling Grateful & Happy today….
~ for seeing Harry the dog and his owner this morning
~ that the river breeze softens the blow of the early morning sun
~ that I am slowly but surely increasing my walk time
~ that I have not given up on meditating, even if just for 5mins
~ that the exercises I’m doing each morning are helping my back
~ for my morning coffee fix
~ for the 70’s & 80’s music flashbacks I sing along to in the car
~ for the Pelican that sits on the dock
~ that despite being on auto-pilot, I still go!
~ that I have a place to breathe 13 months ago
Glad for the arrival of my brother P and his son A this week. They drove 12hrs to come and help out at Mum & Dad’s over the weekend and in doing so, have given me a breather!
Grateful & Happy....
~ to see my nephew again after 10yrs!
~ that Dad has had the opportunity to see A too
~ that both my brother & nephew are ‘handy men’
~ that we have Mum & Dad’s new garden area almost complete now
~ for the welcome but unexpected phone call I got on the weekend
~ for the hospital social worker’s understanding
~ for the luck I have in always finding an easy park outside the hospital
~ that Mum & Dad’s neighbour is so generous with his time
~ for my brother’s help in collecting our new BedHead! :-)
~ that I am so very fortunate to have D in my life
~ for the brief but wonderful escape to the coast for a quick dip in the ocean yesterday
~ for Birdlife; Kookaburras & Cockatoos
pic of Cockatoo taken at Dusk – Airlie Beach, August 201313 months ago
grateful that my mom still smiles periodically over really small things…like handing her a bunch of grapes.
happy in the sunshine
happy our city has a smile and a duck
happy that i am isolating…for self care and down time
happy to be here…still
happy that i have my dental work scheduled
happy i have my procedure scheduled after a 3 year procrastination
happy that things can be civilized
happy my mom is in hospice care and in assisted living and with an aide
happy my siblings are showing up to be a part of life
happy that my daughter got into her study abroad program of choice
happy that my daughter is sailing through the semester
happy that the project is going well…on track if not all that graceful
grateful that the staff we are assembling is behaving as a team
grateful that my assistant does a good job.
grateful i went to yoga yesterday
grateful i ran on the treadmill
grateful for the bike ride Saturday with SJ
grateful for his energy
grateful to be looking at beautiful homes for me and my daughter
grateful i can afford a beautiful home
grateful my daughter convinced me not to “settle”
grateful my best friend became a millionaire
grateful my other best friend is getting married…or not…lol
happy one has a year off and the other is coming home 13 months ago
This week has been busy with lots to organise for and with others – blindly arranging appointments, deliveries and services whilst keeping the peace with opposite personalities.
I’m so Grateful & Happy for that I’ve been able to settle a few things I was feeling daunted by without too much hassle, or in some cases, without even leaving the house!
Grateful & Happy for….
~ for the quick & easy online sale of Dad’s old car
~ that I was able to source everything so quickly & directly
~ for the job interview I had this morning, after only just applying
~ for online connections, friendships and support
~ that I have the ability to access what I need
~ that I chose the right people for the job at hand
~ for the timely bursts of luck that so often swing my way 14 months ago
After spending almost a week away with relatives, I’m feeling very Grateful & Happy
*for the freedom of being able to enjoy the things I like
*for mind space
*for my finding the motivation to walk this morning
*that I can relax whilst having a coffee
*for blue skies
*that I don’t have to ‘bite my tongue’ today
*that life feels like it’s back to normal (??)
*for time to myself to catch-up on things that need to be done
*that I could sleep in this morning and snuggle with D
*that the day is mine; all mine!
pic of Tibouchina in Noosa National Park, Aug1315 months ago
With life being so busy these days, catching up with friends is proving to be more & more difficult but I’m super Grateful & Happy......
~ to have shared a quick but delicious Vietnamese meal with my friend M last night
~ for a way-overdue catch-up scheduled with Restless & Phensy this weekend
~ that my eldest brother & his wife were in town last week
~ for being able to call a dear friend in Canada & offer a shoulder to cry on
~ that those I haven’t had the chance to spend time with lately, are understanding (and mostly in the same boat!)
pic taken at St Pancras Station, London April 201315 months ago
Feeling a little flat these past few weeks, I’ve found solace in comforts.
Whilst some of these comforts aren’t necessarily good for me, I’m still Happy & Grateful for…
~ toasted Banana Bread with a smidge of Creamy Butter
~ friendly smiles
~ postcards from JJ Thank you my friend
~ warm hugs
~ the aroma and comforting taste of my favourite coffee
~ Mushroom & Bacon Risoni
~ sunshine at the end of a gloomy day
~ unexpected gifts in the mail
~ my favourite scarf
~ lemon passionfruit tart
~ holding hands
~ a comfortable bed
pic taken in Trieste, Italy May 201315 months ago
Yesterday, D dropped me off at the usual spot in the City to go to work. Right by the Cartel Coffee Cart where the crew makes my regular ‘J Special’, which sees me through most of the day.
Usually, as my coffee is being made, I say ‘Morning’ to the Puerto Rican man who every day, rain hail or shine, stands in the same spot, selling copies of the BIG ISSUE. Often, I ask him if he’d like me to buy him a tea or coffee? (I’ve always enjoyed talking to the homeless).
BUT…he wasn’t standing in his usual spot yesterday? Instead, there was a bunch of bright orange flowers and a beautifully hand-written sign which read “In Loving Memory of Raphael. We will miss you”.
I burst into tears while my heart leapt to my throat. JT the coffee guy put his arms around me and explained that on Monday afternoon Raphael had left his post to go to the bathroom, fell whilst there, hit his head and had a heart attack!
Just like that, he is gone. I didn’t know him. I haven’t a clue where he lives or if he has family or even if he was homeless? He hardly every spoke and when he did, it was quiet, well mannered and thick with accent.
He was a part of my morning world. Through the sadness of his passing I remain Grateful & Happy ...
~ I made the move to say “Good Morning” every day that I saw him
~ for his calm contribution to the lives of busy city workers each day
~ that he was loved, even if by strangers who have left flowers and tributes to him, without really knowing him.
~ that without knowing it, he made a difference to my life
pic taken in Hyde Park London April 201316 months ago
Happy & Grateful…
~ for the cold winter nights
~ for being able to snuggle cosily under the doona
~ for hot & hearty soups
~ for good coffee & good cheer
~ for the Crow’s caaw and the Magpie’s warbling song
~ for neighbourly smiles
~ for mid-year Sales and Bargains to be had! 16 months ago
The first week of July and I’m Happy & Grateful ....
- for those who worked tirelessly through the night & day to save
the 7 Orca Whales that beached themselves on our north coast
shores (sadly, a Mother & her Calf didn’t make it)
- waking early to a beautifully mild winter’s day
- that it’s Thursday and I’m not working today
- for the opportunity to be free from the work load
- that I drove D to work for his early meeting
- that I got a load of washing done & hung by 8am!
- for finally getting to watch the movie ‘RED DOG’
- for the return of a more ‘settled’ feeling
- for neighbourly dinners & cultural exchanges
- for a comfy night’s sleep!
pic from News Helicopter on Fraser Island 8hrs ago16 months ago
It’s Monday and I just know it’s going to be one of those days!
Still Grateful & Happy for:
~ a hot shower on a cold rainy morning
~ my Hot Pink opaque tights
~ my favourite jumper
~ early morning emails from 43T friends afar
~ courtesy phone calls
~ lunch made for me
~ challenges 16 months ago
Almost the end of June, our Winter is steadily moving in. A change in routine; the clothes we wear, our daily activities, what we eat..changes.
I am Grateful & Happy….
*for the brisk and crisp air of early mornings
*that the Birds sing in the dark just before sunrise
*for that tingling feeling that hits my face when I first walk out the door
*for the extra energy I seem to have in the Winter months
*for hot water
*for steamed vegies and pumpkin soup
*for being able to snuggle under the blankets
*that my winter clothes can come out of the closet!
*for the opportunity to wear Berets, Boots & Coats again
*for the comfort of pure cotton
*that my morning coffee tastes even better on a cold morning!
pic taken in Paris, April 201317 months ago