make more eye contact

But it’s hard to say when this is “done.” I guess when I no longer have to force it? When it feels comfortable? Will it ever feel comfortable or is it something I’ll always have to make a conscious effort to do?

its an issue i have lol

This is something I’ve always tried to work at, but it’s always been so damn hard to do! I’m never prepared for situations in which I can give someone eye contact and don’t realize it until it’s already happened.

And I know it makes things less personal and makes the other person seem like I don’t care as much. And that’s not what I am intending to do. I need to try to keep this in my mind more often so that I do it at the right times.

It’s weird though, I’m fine with eye contact when I’m in an established conversation (like asking my boss about work hours or listening to my professors talk). It’s everyday situations when I run into someone I know or buy something from the store where I just naturally avoid eye contact.

I guess I feel like the other person doesn’t want me to look at them. It would be too personal. Which is totally lame, but that’s how I automatically think in those situations.

I just really need to learn how to get over it and look at people more often.

Back about a month ago, I didnt make very good eye contact with someone I am very fond of, namely CM. I was not in the mood to chat and last time we talked in anyway, things got a bit out of hand on HIS side. He didnt take it very well and got his own back by ignoring me when I was in a better mood on two occasions. Touche.

I saw them both on Friday and I was upbeat and cheery and maintained eye contact – big improvement. I think most of my problem is that I am shy and I have always been worried by the look in his eyes. I have got self confidence, so its not THAT thats the problem. I just think I am out of practice.

As previously stated, I had tried abit harder with Titch’s girlfriend but i also noticed that Titch himself seems to be a lot ‘handier’ ie wanting to hug me more often, which bothers me a bit.

I find that when I’m talking or in shops I never look at the people I’m dealing with. Think its cause I’m shy but it must seem so rude, I also fidget alot and stretch and stuff. Also think that in shops not making eye contact must seem awfully shifty. Anyways we’ll see how we go trying to look at people. Oh yeh does anyone know what acceptable eye contact is cause it seems stairing at the pesron may also be rude!!

Always be the last person to look away. See what happens. Do not avoid eye contact with people. If they want to look away they can. But do not stare.

Does exactly what it says on the tin – I have become a LOT better than I was but I realise that my eye contact can be seriously rubbish at best and I have to change that. people dont think ‘oh she’s shy’ or ‘she’s subserviant,’ they think ‘she’s not trustworthy,’ or ‘she’s hiding something.’ Even with well intentioned friends.

This has happened with CM recently and I didnt mean for that to happen – quite the opposite and it took me a fortnight to get back on track with him. This has got to be addressed – I want to break out of this self imposed aloof shell and get back to where I was.

Don’t make eye contact with an animal because this is how you aggravate it into a challenge. I was told this when I was a little girl asking how to deal with dogs. How in the heck have I come to associate this with humans? When my husband and I have disagreements and he is trying to talk to me I look away and he tells me to look at him. I don’t make eye contact with family members when talking to them and often look above a person when in a conversation. I can recall the times I do make eye contact and that is when with my daughter and being lovey dovey with my husband but I catch myself not doing it as often as I would like.

I know because I find it happening at work. Usually it’s when I’m trying to explain something that’s complicated or uncomfortable to explain. This happens a lot. I hate sales-type interactions, and my boss needs me to do more of them lately. He has a lot of business ideas that, while they make sense to HIM on paper, don’t actually make any sense to the patients (I don’t think). And explaining insurance is generally uncomfortable, largely because most insurance coverage seems to be so crappy and because so many patients are SO CLUELESS about this fact until I have to break the bad news to them.

Anyhow. I am UNABLE to concentrate on what I’m saying AND look the person in the eye while I’m doing so! What do I do?!! I hate to implement the “focus on the area between their eyes” tactic, but it’s the only thing I can think to try at this point.

On the other hand, I am doing a little better at doing this when I’m having just a plain ol’ hi-howareya conversation with a patient. So. Small progress?