make more eye contact

But it’s hard to say when this is “done.” I guess when I no longer have to force it? When it feels comfortable? Will it ever feel comfortable or is it something I’ll always have to make a conscious effort to do?

its an issue i have lol

This is something I’ve always tried to work at, but it’s always been so damn hard to do! I’m never prepared for situations in which I can give someone eye contact and don’t realize it until it’s already happened.

And I know it makes things less personal and makes the other person seem like I don’t care as much. And that’s not what I am intending to do. I need to try to keep this in my mind more often so that I do it at the right times.

It’s weird though, I’m fine with eye contact when I’m in an established conversation (like asking my boss about work hours or listening to my professors talk). It’s everyday situations when I run into someone I know or buy something from the store where I just naturally avoid eye contact.

I guess I feel like the other person doesn’t want me to look at them. It would be too personal. Which is totally lame, but that’s how I automatically think in those situations.

I just really need to learn how to get over it and look at people more often.

I find that when I’m talking or in shops I never look at the people I’m dealing with. Think its cause I’m shy but it must seem so rude, I also fidget alot and stretch and stuff. Also think that in shops not making eye contact must seem awfully shifty. Anyways we’ll see how we go trying to look at people. Oh yeh does anyone know what acceptable eye contact is cause it seems stairing at the pesron may also be rude!!

Always be the last person to look away. See what happens. Do not avoid eye contact with people. If they want to look away they can. But do not stare.

Don’t make eye contact with an animal because this is how you aggravate it into a challenge. I was told this when I was a little girl asking how to deal with dogs. How in the heck have I come to associate this with humans? When my husband and I have disagreements and he is trying to talk to me I look away and he tells me to look at him. I don’t make eye contact with family members when talking to them and often look above a person when in a conversation. I can recall the times I do make eye contact and that is when with my daughter and being lovey dovey with my husband but I catch myself not doing it as often as I would like.

I know because I find it happening at work. Usually it’s when I’m trying to explain something that’s complicated or uncomfortable to explain. This happens a lot. I hate sales-type interactions, and my boss needs me to do more of them lately. He has a lot of business ideas that, while they make sense to HIM on paper, don’t actually make any sense to the patients (I don’t think). And explaining insurance is generally uncomfortable, largely because most insurance coverage seems to be so crappy and because so many patients are SO CLUELESS about this fact until I have to break the bad news to them.

Anyhow. I am UNABLE to concentrate on what I’m saying AND look the person in the eye while I’m doing so! What do I do?!! I hate to implement the “focus on the area between their eyes” tactic, but it’s the only thing I can think to try at this point.

On the other hand, I am doing a little better at doing this when I’m having just a plain ol’ hi-howareya conversation with a patient. So. Small progress?

if I made any progress here, probably not, but I notice I am not thinking of this goal at all; only when I read here it on my list.
So I’m parking it over at the “I give up section”—ah, naaa, that sounds so disheartening. I am sure that there have been one or two moments in my life when I’ve made (more) eye contact :), so I’ll park it at “I have done this”. I might revive it.

It was good having this reminder of what’s important in social interaction on my list. But I’m no longer noticing it, so off it goes. Though I will always have to keep working on this at some level, I’m going to take it out of focus for awhile.

When training Taekwon Do, when you face s/o to practice attacks and defences, the trick is to look your opponent straight in the eyes. Instead of looking on their hands or feet.
It really works so well, you see everything coming.
And still, each time I look in the eyes of the person facing me I feel awkward.

So, I guess training Taekwon Do is useful in many ways.

And, heh, my eyes looking in two different directions might even be an advantage when it comes to free fight. I mean, look at it (argh!) positively!
Straight into its eyes. :)