I wonder if she thought of me? 1 week ago

It was a weird day for me. My heart longs for her so. I continue to pray for her and wait for the day that she will be ready to meet me and allow me to be a part of her life. 4 months ago

Her 29th birthday was this month. I can’t get her out of my mind. I wish things were different. I wish I could have called her on her b-day. I cry if I allow myself to think about it for too long. I almost stopped using the internet because it hurt so much to check my email day after day hoping that there would be something from her. That has changed. I am getting back into the habit of getting online. I am pushing past the pain. However, it’s always there. It will always be there. That is until she allows me to be a small part of her life. 16 months ago

I sat Sarah and Austin down to explain to them that it might be awhile before we can meet Emily. I didn’t quite know how to answer sweet Sarah when she asked me, “Why doesn’t she want to meet us? You are her momma and she knows you love her! Doesn’t she want to meet me and sissy? We’re her sisters!” To tell the truth, I don’t understand it either. I know it has rocked her world though. So, I explained that sometimes it’s hard for people to accept change and that maybe she is scared of the change but that we have to be patient and wait for Emily. I explain that she has to be the one to contact us when she is ready. Maybe I should have waited to tell them I was looking for her until she was ready to meet me. That is not me though. I do my best to live transparently and I wouldn’t want to change that. Any way, I have left her in His capable hands and know that it will all work out in time. We should get the pictures that she sent today. I am very excited about that. 22 months ago