Although I haven’t come out yet I realise more and more how much sexuality isn’t a big deal. People are concentrating on their own lives. I’m picturing myself walking into a room and everyone knowing the truth and it being paradise. Going to clubs and everyone knowing I’m not looking out for the guys. 1 week ago
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I’ve spent most of my adult life hiding my God-given sexual identity. I am a lesbian. I’ve lived in a heterosexual long-term marriage and produced one offspring. I choose to stay alone rather than come out. My few lesbian relationships have been very secretive. 1 month ago
How I did it: At first I just kind of blurted it at my roommates, and they were a bit taken aback but okay with it. That was months ago. And then I told some of my close high school friends when I was back to visit over break, and finally I told my parents via email a few weeks ago when I finally started dating someone. And then I went to a party with that "someone" and a few of our other acquaintances saw us walking arm in arm, so I imagine the news will sort of travel. Really, at this point, everyone who needs to know already knows, and I'm not too worried about the rest.
Mom was overwhelmingly accepting and even enthusiastic. I had included in the email that I’d already told two of my close friends, just so that each party wouldn’t feel like they’d have to cover for me if/when they crossed paths…I wasn’t expecting her to text them.
At least I got some funny messages during class out of that.
Dad’s still sort of in shock, I think. He sent me a message that either his email or my phone ate the last half of, so I’ve asked him so resend it. I just…I don’t know, I expected his reaction to be a little more like Mom’s? Happy that I’m seeing someone (finally)? Of course, his side of the family (a bunch of Southern Baptists) is a lot more traditional than Mom’s (which includes two sets of lesbian aunts and scads of adorable gaybies).
Okay, I got the second half. He’s still seems surprised but he’s being compassionate about it. I can live with that. 2 months ago
because I was going to do it over Skype today and chickened out. I know they’ll be absolutely great about it, but it was still a difficult thing to do. I don’t know why it’s so much harder to tell parents things than friends.
They may have gone to bed already, so I probably won’t get an answer till morning. 2 months ago
I’m so amped up about Hollingsworth v. Perry and United States v. Windsor, it’s ridiculous. They’re posting the audio recordings and transcripts the same day as each hearing, so I’ll be all over those. Between that and my schoolwork, it might be enough material to keep me occupied until the decisions in late June. 3 months ago
I wore my rainbow bracelet to the gym today. In public for the first time. I didn’t see anyone I knew, and no one said anything. I know it’s just a little thing, but it felt like a big step, and I’m glad I did it.
I’m pretty excited about the Supreme Court arguments coming up in the next few weeks. But I don’t particularly understand why they’re not going to publicize the decision until the end of June; surely it can’t take that long.
In other news, the girl I was head over heels for earlier this year is being really friendly. And when I was volunteering in the park, there was a cute girl with an eyebrow piercing who was flirting a bit. Now we’re friends on Facebook and her page implies she’s gay. :) So there’s some more good news – a bit closer to home than DOMA since I’m not planning on getting married anytime soon! 3 months ago
reading conservative homophobic tirades against gay marriage. There were a lot of slurs, quoted Bible verses, and claims about “the Christian principles this country was founded upon” (???).
Mostly it just made me feel sad: sad that there are people that would hate me based on my orientation, or would try to “save” me because they think I’m eternally damned or something. To be quite honest, the only thing I need saving from is becoming a crazy cat lady at the age of 25, which seems quite likely if I don’t go out and find myself a ladyfriend at some point. 5 months ago
I’ve told my college roommates, and one of my close friends back home (this friend was just yesterday, actually). Luckily, they’ve all been really cool about it :) I’m not anticipating any problems with parents/friends due to bigotry, but I’m kind of worried about telling my friends at my fencing club. For one thing, it’s really close-knit, so gossip tends to spread. For another, my ex-boyfriend is a part of the club and I don’t want the other guys to give him grief about it. Part of me says that that’s really not my problem, but I just don’t know. 5 months ago
This was something that weighed heavily on my mind for a long time. Half my life I’d say. I decided this year I would tell my parents at Christmas. I wrote out Christmas cards from me and my boyfriend in advance and posted them with instructions to be opened on Christmas day as we did our Skype call. It took me a long time to write the cards, but once they were sent, I felt better knowing that I had set a definitive timetable. Telling them was a somewhat anti-climax. I’d built it up to be this huge thing in my mind when really it was all me. They are happy for me and I am happy :) 5 months ago
How I did it: The first people I told were my close friends, and from them it started to get out to others. The majority were really supportive of me, and the others I quite simply didn't bother with.
came out to my stepmother and a friend from high school while visiting home. slowly making my way in to my inner circle of friends.
it feels so amazing just to talk about it candidly, confidently, to figure out the language of it and to use that language comfortably.
stepmom insists my dad will be fine with it but also noted it might be nice to tell him in person. i will see him again on my twenty-first birthday… as if i weren’t already nerve-wracked enough by my birthday alone. oh jeez. 10 months ago
I decided a few weeks ago that my feelings of guilt and shame around hiding my sexuality had grown too huge. With the help of my therapist I’ve become more comfortable with myself and ready, I think, to start telling my friends.
One of the girls I live with identifies as bisexual and I knew she of all people would be supportive. I had built my “coming out” up so much in my head that I expected fireworks to go off and the whole world to stop turning when I finally said it out loud. Syke! It just rolled off the tongue really conversationally, no big deal at all…
I put so much primacy on the word—to me, to say something is to make it real, but after telling my friend I discovered that the DOING—the getting-myself-out-there and finding-somebody-I-like—is what really makes one’s identity. So while I’ve made steps on this goal it is not yet complete. I still have people to tell (my family, for instance) and things to do. But I’m less scared and more empowered now. 11 months ago