weigh less than 100 pounds

I want to thank you both for you comments. Trust me I know deep down what you are saying is true but when you have a “voice in your head” (sounds crazy, but actually quite common in people with ED’s). Believe me I’m not doing this for vanity- I appreciate beauty in others in all forms. I wish I could feel beautiful (not necessarily physically but just feel it). I wish I had friends I could confide in who wouldn’t constantly say “why can’t you eat? It’s not hard!” I wish I could love the person I am- trouble is I don’t really know who that person is. I know you may not like what I’m doing but I hope from reading my entries you can at least understand to some extent. One thing a cousellor told me that I try to remember is that no matter how much I think I’m in control, I’m not. Eating disorders are like diseases and I hope one day to find my cure. Thanks again for your messages x

I’ve just been to the suprmarket+for the first time in over a year I haven’t bought a basket full of binge foods! I bought my low cal soups and that’s all. I feel so relieved!

I’ve just spoken to my husband+asked what he’s having for dinner later. He said pizza+garlic bread. I’m really worried because I know this means that I’ll have soup, half a garlic bread baguette plus some of his burnt pizza crust. This could total over 700 cals! It’s too much to comprehend in one go, my heart races when I think about it. I really hope my willpower doesn’t desert me.

A positive start to day 2. I’m realistic enough to realise that I’m not going to lose 4lbs every day, (I wish!) more likely over a week, but it’s put me in a good mood this morning. I’m hoping to leave it 24 hours between my meals again.

A fairly successful first day. I managed to not eat for 24 hours. I did get upset when I saw my husband looking at these 2 super skinny models in bikinis on tv, it really puts the pressure on for me to shift these lbs.

Here is a rundown:

1 fruit smoothie (made with ice, no yoghurt) 200 cals
1 can of minestrone soup 150 cals
4 cherries 50 cals

= 400cals

Well I’m walking home from work (a total of 4 miles, 5 days a week) and it’s now been 19 hours since I had something to eat which I know doesn’t sound a long time but it’s difficult when you’ve got family+friends who will notice. I spoke to my super slim workmate today (she’s stunning+absolutely tiny) and she said she doesn’t know how much she weighs now but she used to weigh 110lbs. So she’s my thinspiration, if she can do it, so can I!

Ok, quick explanation as to why I joined this group… I’ve had an ed since I was 14 (I’m now 23). I’ve suffered both bulimia and anorexia. My husband and his family intervened+i saw various counsellors, nutritionists etc and my weight went up. I’m not sure why I had issues with eating when I was young but I definitely know what’s making me do it now. My husband had an affair with a horrid girl+the only thing she had over me was that she was skinnier than me- so in order for him not to cheat again I need to be skinny. Plus the celeb women he likes are the supr skinnies- keira knightley, the olsens, megan fox+nicole richie. My highest weight was 126lbs and my lowest was 95lbs. Currently I’m 115lbs.

gee, I’ve had weight problems all my adult life…

ever since college began, I’ve gained 20 plus lbs and its made me pretty self conscious…especially since i’m pretty short…
i want to slim down, especially around my stomach and arms.

I’m trying to lose the weight permanently by working out more and watching my portions…my goal weight is 95-100 lbs.

any support would be awesome!

I’m 126- I know it’s really gross. I need to get down to at least 100 (the goal is 95, and I’m short enough, it’s healthy). I would totally love any diet advice.

I don’t even want to say how much i weigh. I want to weigh 90 pounds. Can someone please talk to me and help me reach my goal? I would do anything to get there. please, talk to me.
I need someone to keep me on track.
thank a lot. =]

______Sidra