This was a great post on Zen Habits:

http://zenhabits.net/2008/10/sherlock-holmes-guide-to-recovering-your-stolen-identity/

I really like this:
There will be times where your compromised identity is not seen in plain sight. It will take some serious work to uncover the genesis of this offense. Perhaps you’re trying to read a lot of “hip” books to make yourself seem cool. You really don’t care for the words on these pages, you just want them on your bookshelf to show off when friends come over. Maybe you don’t really care for wine, but you drink it any way because all your friends do too. You don’t want to be left out, right? Be weary of the times when it seems like a small compromise isn’t much. A small lie to yourself is like a little tumor in your authenticity. Unless you remove it before it’s too late, it can easily grow out of control.

Or you’re in a relationship but it just doesn’t feel right because you’re compromising yourself too much…I’m really glad I found out that freedom, though harder, is better, and the price for my true self is too high to pay just to stay in a relationship (even though that is the number one thing on my list of things to have in life). 4 years ago

There’s a hole in my sidewalk
by Portia Nelson

Chapter One
I walk down the street
There’s a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in
I’m lost. . . I’m helpless
It isn’t my fault
It takes me forever to find a way out

Chapter 2
I walk down the same street
There’s a deep hole in the sidewalk
I pretend I don’t see it
I fall in again
I can’t believe I’m in the same place
But it isn’t my fault
It still takes a long time to get out

Chapter 3
I walk down the same street
There’s a deep hole in the sidewalk
I see it there
I still fall in. . . it’s a habit
My eyes are open
I know where I am
It is my fault
I get out immediately

Chapter 4
I walk down the same street
There’s a deep hole in the sidewalk
I walk around it

Chapter 5
I walk down another street 4 years ago

This is a great post from one of the productivity blogs.

http://blog.lodewijkvdb.com/2007/10/how-to-sabotage-goals-with-47-simple-words.html 5 years ago

From the productivity and motivation websites I’ve read (and personal experience) it seems that focusing on one thing at a time is the way to go. I want to get healthy, which means several things, and there are several ways to get there. For the most part, I think the 30 day challenge works for me.

x. sleep
x. exercise
3. eat healthy
x. meditate
5. yoga weekly class, daily at home
6. sing
7. floss

ETA: 3 down, 4 to go! 5 years ago

I’ve never fully understood what it means to “do with intention.” I have been working on being present, but it’s not necessarily the same thing. Or at least, not enough.

While presence is needed to do with intention, one can be present in what they are doing without having made a concious decision to execute the current action.

What are some things I did with intention today?

1. Meditated this morning. I fully realized the desire and intention to perform this action. In fact, most of my morning routine (made the bed, took out clothes, etc.) was good.

2. I sang this evening, every note, with intention, by listening to each note. That doesn’t mean each one came out perfect! But each one had its place as it was brought out.

3. Writing this entry...I’ve been feeling that I wanted to write and process this thought most of the day.

Things I did without.
1. Sadly, eating was completely senseless. I ate whatever, whenever. Except lunch, which I ate with my friend, I chose not to eat meat, and got a sandwhich with cheese and vegetables which was and tasted good.
2. Beverage consumption. Too much liquid consumption without meaning (coffee/tea when not needed, sweetened juice). Not enough water.
3. Letting my thoughts run amok. Why is it that I let my mind use its power for evil???

So what is next? The “Today I will…” goal could be a way to declare intentions as well as to plan. I don’t know whether it comes down to the same thing, and I have stated the same goal in 5 different ways here?! 5 years ago

In the mode of Lloyd Dobler:

Not ruminate, process, or think. Not think about ruminative processes, or process ruminative thinking, or ruminate on thinking processes. 5 years ago

I think I have the daily items set up, though perhaps not in a routine/schedule. But that is okay with me.

Next I need to start checking on what is done weekly. For example, after doing the yoga “30 in 30”, it’s become more of a every other day goal. So I need to make sure it gets done every week, or I will kick it back up to the “30 in 30.” 5 years ago

“If we don’t change the direction we’re going, we’re likely to end up where we’re headed.”

- Chinese proverb 5 years ago

Asking for what I need in a relationship is tough. It might be my past experience, [everyone’s got the ouches which leave you with the feeling of rapped knuckles!]. Then again it might just be human nature, or even a reluctance to admit the need to myself.

But this time around it was met favorably. It’s time to accept that I’m with a good guy.

So, I’d like to spare him my endless prefacing when I bring up issues (assuming this will happen again!). I wonder how one works on getting the words out there simply and efficiently (particularly when one is not at the keyboard editing the comment fifty times!)

Coincidentally, this post was on zenhabits today. Here’s a relevant piece:

3. Speak Plainly. It’s tempting when you are in a bad mood or when you don’t want to be hurt to be passive aggressive, to not say what you mean, to make veiled hints in order to test the other person and so on. Tempting, but it doesn’t go anywhere except sour…if you have something to say, whether it is to voice some upset, to show that you care or anything else, then you must speak plainly if you hope for the other person to understand.
http://zenhabits.net/2007/10/eight-keys-to-a-happier-marriage/ 5 years ago

Work. As in job.
Work. As in workplace.
Work. As in what we need to do each day.
Work. As in functioning properly.
Work. As in what we move to keep the earth turning. 5 years ago

For various reasons (studying, stressing over an exam, etc.) I have managed to stay ahead of worrying. Yes, this seems rather backwards, since the worrying is way to avoid thinking about “real” things.

AND, I LIKE IT. I really am enjoying the lightness from not being worried, i.e. focusing on the negative or rather POTENTIALLY negative aspects of things. (_{yea, stupid thing about worrying is that the bad stuff hasn’t even had a chance to happen yet!})

I want to make sure to stay ahead of it.

So far it seems the way to do that is to get fully absorbed in something. 5 years ago

and we all figure out how to do it. But here are some great tips on another site:

http://zenhabits.net/2007/02/top-20-motivation-hacks-overview/

I really like the idea that “discipline” isn’t an inherent quality. Motivation, and breaking down the goal into smaller achievable parts, AND focusing on ONE goal at a time.

here’s another
http://juzi.com.ru/?p=95 5 years ago

I very deliberately just CANCELED my Blog account.

I’m a bit surprised at myself, but proud, too. I’m not too happy with the posts. They were all very heavy (emotionally) and didn’t have what I want to convey about my life in them. Not to mention, I’ve been paying $4.95 a month for it.

Maybe there’s an element of clutter-clearing. It was something I was doing just for me, but if it wasn’t serving my needs, why continue? It’s hard to let go of something you feel you’ve “created” ... but I’m not happy with it, so time to let it go. 5 years ago

My friends have always told me I’m too nice.

Accomodating other people’s needs is something that I do, though sometimes it does not come easily.

Acommodating someone’s schedule, or not being too flustered if they cancel out on dinner, or show up late becuase of traffic is natural, and necessary to a an easy-going mind. But when it’s an emotional accomodation, it takes a bit of thought.

First of all, recognizing when I am doing this is important. I think it has become such a habit, that I just swing into that mode. I have been doing it my whole life.

If the issue becomes big enough, it can make or break the tenuous bond of the friendship. Two people in my life (an old friend, and my ex-boyfriend) essentially required me to constantly be adjusting to their emotional demands, i.e. their negativity manifested in one form or other. The burden became so big that it broke the bond betweeen us.

Saying when something bothers you, or you don’t like it is everyone’s natural right. People do it easily and often. They say NO. Saying no usually does not make people mad, it makes them respect your wishes, and not “walk all over you.” It’s part of being deliberate, i.e. choosing for ourselves what we want and don’t want. If there was a type of food and you didn’t like it, why wouldn’t you simply say so and not eat it anymore?

An old Chinese proverb says “Your personality is your destiny.” If the personality is too accomodating, the destiny will be to be burdened wtih other people’s issues. 5 years ago

What are the elements that I need? I’ve uncluttered the space and moved the table around to the window so I can have more light.

But I need a routine, good habits for when I come in to when I leave to actually get work done. 5 years ago

“We are what we repeatedly do.” Aristotle

Here are a few things I DON’T want to become:

1. A worrier
2. A procrastinater
3. A chronically-late-for-work-er
4. A junk food junkie
5. A diabetic

ETA (Oct 07): I just found out the full quote is:
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” That’s a huge additional dimension. 5 years ago

A man who uses a great many words to express his meaning is like a bad marksman who, instead of aiming a single stone at an object, takes up a handful and throws at it in hopes he may hit.
-Samuel Johnson, lexicographer (1709-1784) 6 years ago

there was some hideous stuff in my closet. be gone, be gone all you heavy cotton maroon t-shirts and high-neck long sleeve knit tops! bulky sweaters i banish thee!

purging is a great cathartic activity. it helps clear your mind of the ailing present, and focus on the future. (it’s the same with clutter. a good read on the subject is Karen Kingston’s book: “Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui”....a worthwhile read -you can easily ignore the feng shui stuff if you want). 7 years ago

Don’t think. Do.
Don’t feel. Be. 7 years ago

my eating habits seem as whimsical as the wind. but i know there’s something behind it (hormones? weather? boy-blues?). i’ll get back on track.

meanwhile…my pants have started zipping up easily…and staying that way. do i dare to dream this is paying off? 7 years ago

i am following a framework, but it’s working. there are tough times (namesly, 3pm and after 8 pm) when I just want to snack. each day is a small battle, but i’m on 7 victories and counting. 7 years ago

I want to be more specific and well, deliberate, is the only word I can think of, about the clothes I wear, the food I eat, and even things I say. 7 years ago