it’s really hard to break old habits. that’s what i am learning every time i look at this goal. I just want to feel more comfortable around people. I want to be able to feel confident enough that i won’t suspect everyone is somehow against me. and i almost want to be able to fall in love with someone. i do want to get out more often. and i want to be myself with out being looked at like i’m a crazy person. which seems to happen to me a lot….=-/

ahhhh. i just think way to much. i should go back to writing stories before i loose my mind for real. maybe that will vent some thoughts :P 16 months ago

But I suppose it’s going. I’ve stopped drinking when I don’t want to drink. I’ve started trying to plan more outdoor adventures, but it’s difficult to get people together for them. A few times I’ve thought to do something spontaneous, but then I just overthink it and it never happens. Simple stuff, and I’m held back by a silly sort of fear of people I seem to just be picking up. Which is really the opposite of what I was hoping for.

I never liked crowds, but it’s foolish to stay home rather then go across the street for a smoothie just because there might be a line at the counter. 23 months ago