become independent

Wow its kind of scary and great how I see that I am changing.

I have a really bad person in my life. a mentally unhealthy, selfish, latching, mean, uncaring friend.

All you readers do not know me, but let me tell you I am known as “Miss Nice Girl” I am very nice to everyone but the problem is as a result of being sensitive to others needs, I am ridiculously sensitive, and the thought of having drama with someone makes me unable to function, become obsessed, depressed, all that.

She uses me and calls me her best friend at college. Psh, she needs help. Anyways, as a result of becoming independent i am putting myself first…for once. I am not answering all her calls, going on socializing without her, i am trying to ease into cutting out ties. SHe is unhealthy for me mentally, and i cant do it.

I have to admit im proud of myself, having her in my life makes me want to transfer universities which i am thinking of doing, but theres another half that knows she sgiving me a great lesson in dealing with terrible, horrible, difficult people. (and there are many of them in this world.)

Here I am at college, far the fuck away. Dammit, why did I decide to go to school so far away? There goes the negative thoughts, think positively ahhhh.

I realized I’m crazy homesick. Why? I didn’t particularly like being at home that much, but I think now I know why…it’s cause of him, my love, my Adam.

He loves me soooo much, if he could do anything it would be to see me, and those are statements I am so lucky to have in my life. (Of course hes nine hours away by car).

Im so homesick, i’m miserable, i can’t eat, cant study, i’m with people but upset. WHY AM I HOMESICK?? And I realize by analyzing myself…I am not strong enough on my own two feet.

I havent been single for now already four years, I have had a comfort, a best friend, a preson that would kill themselves for me. And that makes going to college vvery hard, becuase i dont have that here

I have my college best freinds, but they have their own lives. Its very different with a boyfriend and then with best freinds. I think i’m having a hard time adjusting to not having a security blanket in the shape of a boy. or a person. or a thing.

I mean if im alone for even 20 minutes i freak out and cry, i mean COME ON i am not at college for some tropical exclusive party, i’m here to learn and get the grades. its the least i can do for my paretns who are spending so much on this education…

I need to be okay to be on my own. I need to be okay to be with people. I need to be okay. I need to love myself, go selfishly after my own goals, be able to eat by myself, dress cute and vainly…

My goals to become independent

1. have many groups of freinds to call, and who invite me
2. be really social, funny, smiley whether alone or by myself
3. be able to have my room to go back to, decorate it funky, invite people to it

wait those arent indepdent stuff how about

1. being able to eat a meal alone happily
2. reading on teh quad alone
3. going ruthlessly aftef my own goals
4. making my room my own room, once i move out into the other dorm
5. loving me some MEEE
6. speaking out loud and getting attention in class

ALL THE WHILE ENJOYING AND RESPECTING FRIENDS BUT REALIZING I AM MY MOST IMPORTANT PRIORITY

i love you!!!!!!!-me

lisha

I think I’m independant. Or at elast more independant than I was. I can be happy without depending on others.

I’m not even sure why this was on my list. Maybe because I live an my mums place, but she doesn’t live there, I actually live alone. I have a job, I pay my bills, and I have no problems going out and doing things for myself. I never rely on other people.

I want to become independent both financially and emotionally. My family, as much I love most of them, is very different in it’s outlook on the world and has done it’s best to constrain me in ways both immoral and irrational.

By depending on them financially, I am unable to break free, and if I don’t break free emotionally my growth will be stunted and I will not make my life as I see fit. Funny thing is, I think the money is the easy part…

Recent events have highlighted how much I’ve grown both dependent on my family and how much they’ve constrained me. I need to take action, I must break free.

It’s too easy for me to ask for help instead of trying to work things out on my own… especially when it comes to finances. My mother is always there for a hand-out or to bail me out of sticky situations… and altho she makes me feel guilty and she belittles me for asking for help, she always gives in to my requests. I want to stop relying on her but she won’t just tell me “NO”. I wish she would’ve told me “NO” a long, long time ago.

I’m a very co-dependant person, I want to change this. I’m working on it in various ways… any suggestions?

So my boyfriend decided to move out after 3years of living as a “family”. I lost my only cash job i could do despite my disability. I am basically short to making ends meet, by over $1,000. With kids I can’t downsize anymore..believe me I’ve looked at every which way including low income housing. The guy soon to be ex wants to marry me, but still move out!? He wants to marry me as a “promise” that someday we’ll be together as a family. That is a crazy,since we’ve been fighting for over 6 months. However, I live in a city where he needs to have a place to spend over night when he works at night and the morning after. His new place will be over 1.5 hours away with traffic. It would be very convenient for him to have a “full service station” in the city. For me this relationship has been over for a while. He’s been very mean and the money comments have been tiring. The guy won’t help me bring groceries in, listen to me, or hug me, but suddenly he wants to help me file my taxes and anyalize my finances. My gut, which has been right every time with him, is that he wants to see my finances to determine what he deems truly “making ends meet”, offer me the difference, and basically have himself two places-his new home by his ex-wife, and one at my place with food, board, and sex, for very very cheap in one of the most expensive cities. It is very hard to turn money away, but I am not selling out. What will i do next month when I am short $1,200? I have no clue. But my independence and esteem is worth much more right now.

it’s ridiculous to say i am fully or mostly independent but i need ot make room on my list for new things, and i am finally becoming more depedent in big ways and working on it every day. taking responsibility for myself. making my own schedule. not living for my relationship with X person(s).