become independent

I’m in university now and I live with my mother out of necessity. I am a poor college student who can’t work during the school year and I need boarding and food. Haha, so she provides that for me. I can understand that she doesn’t want me to go out too late (it’s just not safe) but it’s quite another to tell me when I can or cannot go out somewhere safe (like the mall) during the day when I have no classes.

So to get her to have confidence in me, I will have to show her that I am dependable and independent. How? Get and keep the best marks so she can’t complain that my marks will suffer. Do more around the house so she will see that she can depend on me. Volunteer someplace. I will need the experience later anyway and she can see that others can depend on me too. Act more mature by not letting her get to me and overreacting over things. Can I achieve this? I sure hope so…

i m currently living alone in Delhi. its kinda sad. but i hv 2 go out alone and do things on my own. i dont like it and feel scared and think ill make a fool of myself. sometimes i do. but i guess thats life…its a learning process. so i m in the process of being independent. now i hv 2 go on to become independent financially, and continue the process when i go back HOMEand am with my family

Wow its kind of scary and great how I see that I am changing.

I have a really bad person in my life. a mentally unhealthy, selfish, latching, mean, uncaring friend.

All you readers do not know me, but let me tell you I am known as “Miss Nice Girl” I am very nice to everyone but the problem is as a result of being sensitive to others needs, I am ridiculously sensitive, and the thought of having drama with someone makes me unable to function, become obsessed, depressed, all that.

She uses me and calls me her best friend at college. Psh, she needs help. Anyways, as a result of becoming independent i am putting myself first…for once. I am not answering all her calls, going on socializing without her, i am trying to ease into cutting out ties. SHe is unhealthy for me mentally, and i cant do it.

I have to admit im proud of myself, having her in my life makes me want to transfer universities which i am thinking of doing, but theres another half that knows she sgiving me a great lesson in dealing with terrible, horrible, difficult people. (and there are many of them in this world.)

Here I am at college, far the fuck away. Dammit, why did I decide to go to school so far away? There goes the negative thoughts, think positively ahhhh.

I realized I’m crazy homesick. Why? I didn’t particularly like being at home that much, but I think now I know why…it’s cause of him, my love, my Adam.

He loves me soooo much, if he could do anything it would be to see me, and those are statements I am so lucky to have in my life. (Of course hes nine hours away by car).

Im so homesick, i’m miserable, i can’t eat, cant study, i’m with people but upset. WHY AM I HOMESICK?? And I realize by analyzing myself…I am not strong enough on my own two feet.

I havent been single for now already four years, I have had a comfort, a best friend, a preson that would kill themselves for me. And that makes going to college vvery hard, becuase i dont have that here

I have my college best freinds, but they have their own lives. Its very different with a boyfriend and then with best freinds. I think i’m having a hard time adjusting to not having a security blanket in the shape of a boy. or a person. or a thing.

I mean if im alone for even 20 minutes i freak out and cry, i mean COME ON i am not at college for some tropical exclusive party, i’m here to learn and get the grades. its the least i can do for my paretns who are spending so much on this education…

I need to be okay to be on my own. I need to be okay to be with people. I need to be okay. I need to love myself, go selfishly after my own goals, be able to eat by myself, dress cute and vainly…

My goals to become independent

1. have many groups of freinds to call, and who invite me
2. be really social, funny, smiley whether alone or by myself
3. be able to have my room to go back to, decorate it funky, invite people to it

wait those arent indepdent stuff how about

1. being able to eat a meal alone happily
2. reading on teh quad alone
3. going ruthlessly aftef my own goals
4. making my room my own room, once i move out into the other dorm
5. loving me some MEEE
6. speaking out loud and getting attention in class

ALL THE WHILE ENJOYING AND RESPECTING FRIENDS BUT REALIZING I AM MY MOST IMPORTANT PRIORITY

i love you!!!!!!!-me

lisha

I think I’m independant. Or at elast more independant than I was. I can be happy without depending on others.

I’m not even sure why this was on my list. Maybe because I live an my mums place, but she doesn’t live there, I actually live alone. I have a job, I pay my bills, and I have no problems going out and doing things for myself. I never rely on other people.

I want to become independent both financially and emotionally. My family, as much I love most of them, is very different in it’s outlook on the world and has done it’s best to constrain me in ways both immoral and irrational.

By depending on them financially, I am unable to break free, and if I don’t break free emotionally my growth will be stunted and I will not make my life as I see fit. Funny thing is, I think the money is the easy part…

Recent events have highlighted how much I’ve grown both dependent on my family and how much they’ve constrained me. I need to take action, I must break free.

It’s too easy for me to ask for help instead of trying to work things out on my own… especially when it comes to finances. My mother is always there for a hand-out or to bail me out of sticky situations… and altho she makes me feel guilty and she belittles me for asking for help, she always gives in to my requests. I want to stop relying on her but she won’t just tell me “NO”. I wish she would’ve told me “NO” a long, long time ago.

I’m a very co-dependant person, I want to change this. I’m working on it in various ways… any suggestions?