This has formed part of my vision for the past two years.

I shall move through this year with quiet confidence, conviction and purpose: with belief in my own self-worth; belief in the validity of treading my own path; belief in the value of my contribution and faith in the universe.

I need to remember it.

:) 22 months ago

This forms part of my Embrace Resilience goal which is also my one-word resolution for the year and is thus particularly important. I’m setting this sub-goal so that my awareness of this area is heightened every time I log on. It’s my weakest area in the questionnaire I’m using to monitor resilience levels. The scores shoot up and down and on the last test they were well down.

Here’s what is said about individual accountability and resilience. It rings very true for me.

(Original entry is here)

People who demonstrate individual accountability tend to feel a strong sense of self-worth and self-regard, which gives them belief in their own abilities. Without this, they are unable to find the necessary confidence and drive to bounce back from challenging situations. They also strive to be in control of events, to influence where they can, rather than being a victim of their circumstances and at the mercy of other people’s whims.

Highly resilient people tend to be excited by challenges and to view difficult tasks and situations as diversions, rather than roadblocks. They may even seek out challenges they feel initially daunted by, which can lead to discomfort, or even symptoms of stress, but these abate as soon as they sense the possibility of achieving success. At this point, highly resilient individuals return to their normal state of competence and confidence; and their belief that they can tackle pretty much anything life throws at them is reinforced.

However, a balance needs to be struck. Self-worth needs to be well-grounded and not excessive,which can lead to narcissism: your belief in yourself should be pitched at a level which is just higher than your current levels of competence. Furthermore, being individually accountable doesn’t mean going it alone! In order to cope with tough times, you often need to involve others. Resilience requires you to strike a balance between being proactive yourself and relying on other people – between healthy competition and cooperation.

Your Score is 35%Your score indicates you have Developing levels of Individual Accountability.

Indecision can play havoc with your effectiveness and you would benefit from taking action much earlier in your thought processes. People scoring low in this category are often concerned about regretting their actions: in fact, as a generalisation, we are less troubled by regret for things we have done than by reflecting on those we never managed to get around to

It frustrates me that I relate very strongly to what’s written about resilient people yet the description of people scoring low is painfully accurate too. Indecision, uncertainty, lack of confidence, fear of what others might think, fear of looking foolish – all these things get in my way. I know that when life calls for it I am very strong and capable of taking extremely hard decisions with courage and dignity. But thankfully life doesn’t always require that of us. And it’s the smaller everyday steps that cause me to hesitate and generate self-doubt.

I’m not planning any great changes, in fact rather the opposite. I want to to consolidate exactly what I’m doing now. And I want to be proud of it and accountable for it. That shouldn’t be so hard! 22 months ago