Ive always wondered if god is really real because i could never hear his voice . Ive been struggling on my relationship with God , like a tug of war with the devil . Everytime i feel lifted , he somehow manages to pull me back down . I feel horrible becuse everytime i tell God im not doing it anymore i dissapoint him . For as long as i can remember i feared god and it just feels like im slipping away . i started drinking and smoking and i dont know who i am anymore . ive had thoughts of suicide and i just want to feel close to god again . I miss the feeling of the spirit on me . 2 years ago
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