I woke up not feeling too well today. Mrrad suggested that it was my body’s reaction to the intensity of the last week. As I look back on it, the last five days had a lot going on. On Saturday I had a massage for the first time in 6 weeks. On Sunday we put up the Christmas tree which included an intensely emotional day of going through ornaments which came from both my and mrrad’s childhood and belonged to my mom. On Monday I worked out to exhaustion, on Wednesday I worked out again (but not as intensely) and then met with the grief counselor and talked (and cried) non stop for an hour (big emotional release). Talked a lot about family and my dad’s death too. It was definitely intense. Today I have no energy to do anything and feel sickly. After doing a lot of web reading I think this might be a part of a healing crisis. I know that emotions can lodge in the body and if you couple massage with intense exercise and emotional intensity—seems like a recipe for yuckiness. That’s what I think. But I would also be interested in what other think. Its not like I’ve been around many people who could be sick and I’ve had a flu shot. 5 months ago

With the recent death of my mom, my thoughts have turned to family, family history, spirit and the afterlife. I personally am a believer in reincarnation. When I first read about it in my early 30s it felt right to me in my soul. I also believe that there is a very thin veil between us and the other side. I have had experiences as have others that lead me to believe that there is an opportunity to “communicate” with those that have crossed. Two things recently have happened that I want to record so I don’t forget them. Two weeks ago I spent the day with my long lost cousin and his wife. Its been almost 30 years since I last saw him. Somehow we got on the topic of spirit and he said—”Well, I really don’t believe in that stuff, but when Cheyanne’s sister died, I swear I saw her spirit, this white light, move from her directly into a hawk that was sitting outside her window.” That’s interesting, because as I was driving to his house, about two miles away, on a road following the Rock River, all of a sudden a hawk came out of the woods on my left and flew parallel to my car, then over my hood, at eye level and then right in front of the car for a while and then flew off down the river to my left. It was so close I could look that hawk in the eye. I was afraid I was going to hit it and slowed down. Coincidence? I think not.

This other incident actually happened several years ago, but it came back to my attention. My cousin (B) and I have an aunt (C), the sister to our fathers, whom we both adored. She had no children of her own and always doted on and took care of her nieces and nephews. My cousin had a sister (KJ) (also my cousin) who died of cancer over 20 years ago. She had son (BJ) and a daughter (M), and my aunt (C) was always taking care of the daughter (M), until the day she died she worried about and pretty much drained her bank accounts to take care of her (M) (and this daughter (M) also had a daughter (KJJ) that she named after her mom (KJ)), my cousin. Anyway B was sharing with me how C was always so worried about M and KJJ and how M pretty much played my aunt (C). When C died I did not know where she was living or that she had died until almost a year later when another one of my dad’s cousin’s told me. I was really saddened because I loved C. I spent a lot of time with her as a child and she meant the world to me. The year that I learned that she had died I went to Sedona to visit the energy vortex(s) of the area. I went to a book store/new age store and they had psychic readings. I decided to have one and one of the thngs that I wanted to do was connect with my aunt. The psychic was able to connect with her and the one thing that I remember from that reading was her saying “Your aunt loves you but she isn’t worried about you. She knows that you can take care of yourself. But she is really worried about another younger woman in her life.” Hmmmm. 6 months ago

I was at a professional conference last month in Nashville. As a part of the conference there was a luncheon for those of us who held a certificate in our speciality (to get the certification we had to apply, demonstrate proof of experience and take an exam). There are less than 500 of us in the country. Anyway, at this luncheon, there was a guest speaker who happened to be former hospital administrator and is now a chaplain. The luncheon was started by a prayer/blessing which included “in Jesus Christ’s name . . .”. I must say I was really taken aback. We are NOT a faith based organization, we are a professional organization made up of many faiths. It seems to me that such a prayer/blessing was out of place here, and while offensive may be too broad of a word, it was definitely inappropriate. I am a member of this organization. It does not represent my beliefs and I was not aware that I needed to subscribe to a certain set of spiritual beliefs to be a member of this organization.

I have clients that are faith-based organizations, and when I attend events (or even meetings) with them and they begin with prayer, I am respectful of their practice. But this instance was not that.

Perhaps I should mention that those in power in this organization are old white men from the south who would most likely disregard my objection as left-wing political ravings from a California female, so I’m not so sure that saying anything would make any difference. 17 months ago

turn my photography hobby into some sort of money making venture. Not exactly sure what to do, how to do it, or if to do it. My technical skills aren’t so great, but I think my eye is good. Hmm what to do? 22 months ago