Make the change from all or nothing to all or something, or better yet, something or something and Be Finally Free

specifically a course that I took in DBT when I was very young. I didn’t get a lot out of the course at that time because I was too confused by life. A few months ago I printed out a bunch of dbt worksheets because in hindsight it was a pretty awesome program.

I have a habit of looking at my past and my future from an “all or nothing” perspective, but mostly it’s just a whole lot of nothing, or all bad, or all mediocre.

When I’m disappointed about something I’ve been hoping for, everything is bad and there is nothing else that I can do that would make me nearly as happy as doing (what I wanted to do). This is something I really want to work on. I think that the only way I can get over this is to admit that I can’t change anything about the past except how I think about it, and that there’s no use in over-dramatizing negative events or in focusing exclusively on bad things.

As far as the future, I suppose I could try to think that everything has meaning, but it’s difficult. I’m a perfectionist, and I’m pretty inflexible, and I like everything to have the meaning that I want it to have. When it doesn’t, I just give up on everything that has any meaning in my life.

... i need to bring some balance into my life.

my room’s a mess, my temp job’s annoying, am too focused on “having fun” at the expense of more focus on making clear focused decisions with a direction.

I was surfing this site and saw this entry and was happy to see I wasn’t the only person willing to reach for this goal.
It does my heart god to know that people are willing to make their lives instead of accepting them.
Kudos to everyone obtaining this goal!

i don’t know if i mentioned this, but this goal came about after a long conversation with a friend of mine on the west coast…

and true to form, after my recent internship-disappointment, he had this to say, which I found inspiring to receive in my emailbox early this morning:

Dont give up – I’m sure there will be other opportunities

let me share a quote my spanish teacher left us with – something that
has left me deeply influenced

Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will
not;
nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius
will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not;
the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination
alone are omnipotent. The slogan ‘Press On’ has solved and always
will solve the problems of the human race.
Calvin Coolidge

because i feel i need to keep seeing it in front of my eyes… a reminder to always to do something, rather than imagine doing it all and instead disappointing myself by doing nothing

unfree

ok – this all or nothing has to change…I slipped up on all my goals and new habits I’m trying to intergrate into my life…
I ended up doing none of them…what a silly state to get into.

I’ve also decided (which may seem like I don’t agree with this goal because it focuses on ALL again rather then something. I’ve read a few times that it takes 40 days to create a habit and that is 40 days IN A ROW. (It’s also 40 days in Kundalini Yoga that is key) So… back to square 1 again for the drinking water and the rest of the tasks

I am an all or nothing person. When I give my all this is a great part of my but when I decide to do nothing, well everything goes wrong. Last night I decided to use my palm pilot (my second brain – all part of my strategy to organize myself which is working) to set up some routines:
1 Morning routine
2 Office AM routine
3 Lunchtime routine
4 dinnertime routine
5 Office PM routine
6 Nighttime routine

they each have so many steps and cover everything from Rising and showering (has an alarm so marks the start of the routine) to cleaning my teeth! I figure if I can just get these basic things into place the rest of the time inbetween these routines will be more productive. Am office starts with doing emails/messages for 1 hour and checking post. PM office routine involves filing away and clearing desk ready for next day. so many times I try to structure too much (because of my lack of structure) and it falls apart. I’ve decided the most important things I’d like to do CONSISTANTLY and these involve these routines. I feel very confident about this. I know Im going to have to work hard at the MOTIVATION do start the routine but once started I hope I’ll follow each step then when its done Ill be motivated enough to then have a productive day!
whooooooo…........I’ll consider this goal completed when I have completed my routines for 2 months and that the ‘inbetween’ the routines are functioning effectively.

the routines actually consist of many of the goals I have on 43 things, like brushing hair properly and brushing teeth, simple things etc. I’ve set up another 43 things for the BIG things like visiting the ice hotel etc. Going to treat them separately but this list is the priority. I figure if I get the little things right the big things will come.

yesterday (actually v. early this morning, since i was unable to sleep past 2 a.m. today…)
i applied for a job.

something, something, something, something, something…
this is my mantra
remember.