embrace who i am

More and more, I am questioning this thought = who am I ? I am struggling with the desire to be full of life and free-spirited, but feeling like I have a big cement block on my body and come-and-go energy. I want to be funny (I do not tell jokes). I want to make people laugh. I love to be sarcastic. What makes me really happy ? What will make my heart complete and not hollow ?

For the past 2 years I’ve tried to deny a part of me pretending it never existed but maybe I shouldn’t? I always believe this part of me is what depresses me but maybe trying to pretend its not there only makes things worse?

It’s so weird to feel free… I’m so used to hiding my true self. I don’t know where I learned this behavior, and it makes me sad at how much of life I’ve missed out on because of it. But, I’m also not going to think about the past too much. I’m all about the right here and now, and just doing what I can now.

I’m hugging myself right now!!!