Get the respect I deserve

Boundaries are really helping me get respect. The ability to say no to what I don’t want, it’s great. People respect you more when they know where you stand. They know they can’t do whatever the hell they want – or they can, but it may cause you not to hang out with them anymore. It’s working! Chris is helping me find my strength and independence.

She wanted a ride home, but I’d just arrived at the party and wanted to stay the night. So I said no.
She got pissed off, but forgave me. And I feel great about it.

He ignored me the whole party and then sent me a text message: “BJ?” I just laughed. He asked me if that was a no and I said, “That’s a big fat no! No, thanks.”
He just said ok, but he’s been paying more attention to me than normal since then.

What’s with this saying no business? People don’t like to hear no, but somehow they respect you more when you say it. wow

that one of the best ways to show respect to others is by allowing them their independence. I learned this from a friend who always allows me MY independence. Therefore, I will seek out people who don’t ask me to jump in their car with them, but instead insist that I drive my own car alongside them, and are always pushing me back into my own lane. It’s an empowering feeling and helps me remember that I am responsible for myself. I can respect myself more when I’m independent, and this helps others respect me as well.

I figured out that I need to just say what I feel like saying and do what I feel like doing. This lets people know where I’m coming from and gives them enough information to know what to do next. It helps me establish boundaries. All too often in my past, I would hold back for fear of hurting someone’s feelings or saying something I’d regret or that could be misinterpreted. But now I don’t care as much. Let them misinterpret me! At least I’ll be saying what I really feel, and I can always explain more later if they need it. It’s better for me to react spontaneously.

I was having a discussion today with some random people – is it important that a guy respects a girl tremendously, like is all polite towards her and all? I mean things like opening the car door for her, giving her his jacket, etc., not just basic human dignity respect.
People say it’s very important, but I just don’t know. There are those who say that if a man does not open the door for you, you should wait until he does, not getting in the car or going inside the building. This “trains” him to open doors for you. Ok I can see how that would probably work, but isn’t that a little silly? I mean, you could just tell him that it means a lot to you and ask him if would mind doing it from now on. Isn’t that pretty rude to treat him that way? Doesn’t that say, “I know about manners, and you’re an uncultured swine who must be trained.”? Like you don’t trust the person or care enough…. I don’t know.
I mean, yes, if the guy is walking next to me into a building, I let him ahead so that he can open the door, and I always thank him. Sometimes I’ll even slow down if I’m ahead of him so he can get there first. And if we’re both getting into a car as passengers, I get in on the side closest to where we’re standing, making him walk around to the other side. But I don’t do this stuff out of spite or to train him. I just expect that much.
But is it reasonable to expect perfect politeness from a man? Isn’t that a bit outdated? I mean, that’s not even the standard anymore. But I do think it is a respect issue, so I concern myself with it. If that is the difference between respect and disrespect… well then I have some training to do!

I was having a discussion today with some random people – is it important that a guy respects a girl tremendously, like is all polite towards her and all? I mean things like opening the car door for her, giving her his jacket, etc., not just basic human dignity respect.
People say it’s very important, but I just don’t know. There are those who say that if a man does not open the door for you, you should wait until he does, not getting in the car or going inside the building. This “trains” him to open doors for you. Ok I can see how that would probably work, but isn’t that a little silly? I mean, you could just tell him that it means a lot to you and ask him if would mind doing it from now on. Isn’t that pretty rude to treat him that way? Doesn’t that say, “I know about manners, and you’re an uncultured swine who must be trained.”? Like you don’t trust the person or care enough…. I don’t know.
I mean, yes, if the guy is walking next to me into a building, I let him ahead so that he can open the door, and I always thank him. Sometimes I’ll even slow down if I’m ahead of him so he can get there first. And if we’re both getting into a car as passengers, I get in on the side closest to where we’re standing, making him walk around to the other side. But I don’t do this stuff out of spite or to train him. I just expect that much.
But is it reasonable to expect perfect politeness from a man? Isn’t that a bit outdated? I mean, that’s not even the standard anymore. But I do think it is a respect issue, so I concern myself with it. If that is the difference between respect and disrespect… well then I have some training to do!

I’m reading a book called “Self-Assertion for Women” (Pamela Butler). Of course self-assertion is the same for both sexes, but that’s just what the book is called. It is helping me change my perspective to a healthy one. It talks about how being assertive is saying what you think or how you feel at the time you think or feel it.
I realized that it’s not only a huge relief for me when I communicate my wants to other people, but it’s much easier for them too!! I myself would rather spend time with someone who told me what they really felt about stuff than someone who pretended to be having a good time or pretended that I wasn’t getting on their nerves… etc.

i’ve been back for a month now and i’ve streamlined my life! i have started saying no when i’m feeling displeased with something and its made all the difference!

people are surprised by my reaction and sometimes take it personally but at the end of the day, i’m happy about being true to myself!

with two guys and i feel great!

explained that if they wanna hang out with me as friends, that’s cool…anything more, i’m not having it! we’ll see how they act and react and if i’m into how they are carrying themselves, i’ll keep them around, if not…they are cut off!

i am starting to get better at saying what i’m thinking. it is tough because my friends have noticed the change and think i’m being ‘mean’ but i’m just putting my foot down where it needs to be put! i’m still sweet, just saying what i think…it feels good and they know how i’m feeling which i think is important!