:) — 3 months ago
please mean the world to me one day…
so there is this boy.. he makes me smile..real smiles. he is the sweetest boy ever, proving there are some decent men left in this world. if feels so good to know there is someone who gets me.
[=
Chuq (username: yakuza) busy doing everything but sleeping.
Worth doing!
Smiling is one of the easiest things to do. I love smiling at strangers on the street and trying to get them to smile back.
Worth doing!
I love seeing peoples faces change when you smile at them and mean it. That’s one of my favorite things to do when I’m walking somewhere by myself. After I smile at the first person, it cheers me up, and them up (hopefully) Think about cute babies or puppies… that makes me smile. I actually bought a book that is called 14000 things to smile about. It ROCKS
Worth doing!
Lately I had the mean reds…and a few days ago I saw someone so dear to me…and I had all these feelings rushing thoughout my head…Happiness, Joy and a little fear…I was so happy to see my niece but soo scared to lose her…or just thinking of losing her…but I saw her and smiled, and It was a real smile and I loved it!
In high school I didn’t even know what a smile felt like… in college, I’ve been so happy pretty consistently for 3 and a half years that I smile all the time without thinking… now this semester somewhere along the way I lost my smile again and I can’t get it back… I’m tired of smiling to make other people happy, when I’m actually miserable. I want to be able to smile again… I want to be happy and I don’t know how anymore.
As of Monday…smiling and meaning it has become a complete impossibility.
I feel broken. And my mouth feels it too.
I find that these days, my smiles mean nothing. And when I smile and really mean it…it is cheapened by all the not-so-meaningful smiles that came before it. Does this mean that smiling and meaning it means smiling less…so as not to cheapen the real smiles by watering them down with a thousand fake ones?
Usually I smile because it is just something to be done, to get close enough to someone to get what I need from them smoothly. A signature, an item, a piece of information.
This has gone to the point where I would be photographed and the first thing I would say is, “Am I that pale?” and the second would be, “I thought I was smiling.”