discover my passion

After years as a journalist I am on the hunt. Seeking my real passions and trying to find something to do for the rest of mye life.

There are so many things that i want to do… I want to create music. I want to write films. I want to make money. I want to dance and sing. And yet at the end of the day i find myself not doing any of them…are they just interests? are they not enough to be a passion?

I am trying desperately to discover my passion. There are many things I like to do, but at this time, I’m really not passionate about anything. I’m just surviving.

Im just bimbling about in life with no direction, I am currently out of work, but am a party qualified electrician… to update my qualifications would cost me £1200! but why bother if i dread going into work? I wish I knew what i wanted to do.

I love to watch a certain kind of movies, read books, learning about and practise yoga/pilates/meditation. I love to travel and I would love to learn a new language beside swedish/english.

I love to learn about feminism, philosophy and psychology. I love to study HR at uni and just the thought of working with HR in the future makes me happy and proud.

I love to dream and plan for my future and all the positive things that’s (maybe) going to happen.

I would also like to find a way to help others in my job and at the same time earn enough money to make a great life for myself and my future family. Maybe I want to be some kind of coach. Yes, that will be my passion and dream to realize.

So day 1 is over and Im still no closer to discovering my passion but I know its not teaching but something to do with working with children in someway, I just cant handle everything that comes with teaching. I want a career that I can leave at work and not worry about when I get home. Thats not too difficult to find is it?

So I’m teaching a class of 8 years olds with a range of low ability maths skills and where doing fractions and most of the kids are getting it and can see how and explain why the fraction of the shape shaded is 1/2, but theres that one little boy sat at the front of the class who doesnt have a clue what I’m going on about and I, the teacher, feels like a complete failure because I’m not doing my job right! So I go home and think and think and think. What can I do that will help this child? So I decide that maybe he needs some visual aids so that he can actually see the fractions, so I go home and make a range of different shapes and fractions and the next lesson I get him to shade a range of fractions(with a bit of help). So the next lesson I move him onto identifying fractions that are already shaded while hes still shading fractions. After a few days of gradually helping him (with support of fab TA’s) to build up to identifying shaded fractions with support I casually ask him during whole class teaching what fraction of the shape is shaded and I wait thinking maybe I should explain to him (and rest of class) how to identify fractions BUT then hes says it, he says what the fraction is!! So I ask him how he knows that and he explain WITH NO HELP because there are two parts and one is coloured. And I jump with joy inside! This little boy who only days ago didnt have a clue what a fraction was just explained something he didnt know days before. Thats when I realised that something I had done helped him understand. This is why I thought teaching was my passion because I, this insignficant person in this child’s life (who he would probably never remember) might have just had an impact on the rest of his life but for some reason that feeling seems to have gone. So I want to see if I can rekindle my passion for teaching and if not find what passion actually is. It all starts monday, with my first day back in school in 4 months!!

I feel that if I find my passion then passion for other things, family, God, taking care of myself, will fall into place.

My son just turned one, on February 4th. I passionately and lovingly cobbled together a beautiful scrapbook. For each page there was a moment of inspiration that I was completely absorbed in for hours, placing those pregnancy photos just right on the page.

I just thought of one thing I was passionate about… Being the self-proclaimed best dog-Mom around. I just lost my pomeranian, Shylo, after 13 years. He was the most loyal companion, and I to him.