and a healthy eating group, hence less posting here generally.

It’s tricky though, because 43t has the benefit of anonymity. 1 month ago

I’m going to attempt a summary progress report>

Went from being a blubbering piece of mess who couldn’t stop sobbing her heart out, back to being an empowered, strong woman.
I’m still hurting, and when that comes up I let it out and release it, but the pain is no longer overwhelming.

I am showing myself way more compassion

I am sleeping well before midnight each night & every night for over a week- very pleased with this :)

I am being responsible, I am communicating in spite of fear on my business project and making VERY good progress, and producing VERY good work as a result.

I am asking for help, and graciously receiving it- clearest example is with P moving boxes in the garage, normally I’d just “do it” anyway, but I didn’t. VERY pleased with myself about this.

I recording a voice “commercial” describing who I am, listening back to it, I’m rather impressed with myself. It’s almost time, my confidence in my own skills, beliefs and vision is improving. For this I am immensely grateful.

I contacted my landlord about renewing my tenancy agreement being renewed.
I contacted the GP about booking an appointment, and didn’t get overly stressed at their insane booking system (a first) :)

I had my first appointment with Hannah, Naturopath/Craniosacral therapist which went well, I feel positive she will be able to support me in creating health in my body.

I continued loosing weight- in a positive healthy way & have lost a total of 10.5kg /23 lbs in 2 and a half months which I am very happy with.

I have meditated this week.
I have done yoga this week.

I have prayed this week & had someone to assist me in my spiritual connection with God.

I regularly wrote positive things that happened to me, and that I’m grateful for.

Made huge headway in terms of understanding who I am, I am broken and I do need more support than the average person, and that is perfectly ok. Phew!! What a relief to stop expecting things to be easy, and now I am showing myself waaay more compassion as a result :)

I got my boxes rearranged in M’s garage, he said it was an issue for him, I solved it. :)

I did a few really cool pieces of art & really enjoyed my art group this week :) And I arranged to go for a cuppa/drink with a couple of the participants after next week’s session, which I am looking forward to :)

Had phone calls with friends who care about me :)

Accepted help from a coach who was really there for me, so very grateful, have been having morning sessions which have really helped immensely!

Being active again on 43t and really using the wonderful resource it is to record my thoughts & progress & get reconnected to such fabulously loving people again, very, VERY grateful for this :)

Announced publicly on Twitter and facebook that I am unable to work. This was a great relief and freedom for me and something I’ve avoided for over a year. I finally feel free, and that I can focus on my health and well being, knowing that my business will recover as a direct result :)

Helped a best selling author with photographs of his book & continued to network & develop relationships with him and one other person- I know that when I’m ready to get back into it, the results of what I’m sowing now will be HUGE :)

I’ve been eating very well, nothing that isn’t good for my body. I haven’t been eating a huge amount, about half of what I usually do, but that’s simply because of the high anxiety I’ve been experiencing, that will come back in the next week or so.

I stood up for myself & said NO! :) Yayy me!! Seems simple, but usually I bend to what the other person wants, this time I didn’t and I’m very proud of myself, because I didn’t feel guilty about it either. I’m looking forward to being able to do this more regularly :)

I’ve done every possible action that I could have to support my health and well being :)

I’ve also had to deal with my dog almost dying on me! Thankfully, after an evening in intensive care with IV antibiotics she picked up and within a week she’s now back to her normal self, so very grateful for that :) I love her dearly, and she’s been with me 14 years (she’s 15) and I really don’t want to have to say goodbye to her at the moment.

I’ve also disconnected from a community, that although positive on the surface I actually now realise was quite damaging to me psychologically.

I’m learning more about my relationship ending with M, understanding that although I still love him dearly his behaviour, whether intentional or not was quite hurtful to me. A lesson in understanding my own needs, and not allowing myself to be repeatedly hurt. Part of me still wants to be back with him, and part of me knows and trusts that I am not with him, because it is better and healthier for me not to be. 20 months ago

Yayy! Me!!!

I was arranging a meeting and his PA confirmed, then asked to reschedule, was that ok? And I said no, it wasn’t I’d already been waiting 4 days and I needed his input before continuing on the project, and suggested an alternative..

She accepted my alternative woo hoo!!

yay me!! 20 months ago

I rang a friend when I needed one, I was sobbing my heart out hysterically, couldn’t stop for an hour and a half.

I asked for helpful suggestions on how to feel better.

I rang the samaritans, asking for help- and getting it.

I rang and called for the form to apply for disability living benefit, because I am unable to take care of myself.

I wrote a piece on compassion earlier today too.

A really HUGE success the last few days is going to sleep before midnight- 9.30pm and 10.30pm 2 nights running! 20 months ago

last night I was at the first meeting of a little writers club, a group of us who write and want to support each other being focused on achieving our writing goals.

It was great. As we were talking about various aspects of writing I realised that over the last 12 months I’ve done the following:

Read & provided feedback for 2 first novels
Coached someone on creating a structure for their first book
Am coaching/co writing a book with someone else!

And it wasn’t until last night that I realised that those are SUCCESSES :)

I didn’t realise I’d done quite so much in terms of writing, ok, it wasn’t my own writing, I haven’t done that much of that of late, but still, I know I made a big difference on each of those projects, which I’m proud of!

Last night I set a goal to write 2 blog posts and 2 sections of my book before 6th October, as well as working on the structure of the book some more.

EDIT [ I was talking to a client this morning that I coached a year ago on developing his business, he wrote a book as part of his marketing strategy and I remembered this morning that I coached him on this, the structure of the chapters, and reworking the wording and tone to reach and connect with the audience more. Zig Ziglars son wrote a recommendation for that book also. That’s another success I’ve had related to writing, that I’d just simply forgotten…. ] 20 months ago

I am grateful to be getting my home back into shape, after neglecting it to support another person, who no longer wants my support.

I am happy and grateful that I received a response from my friend that I haven’t heard from in over a year. I miss her & am so grateful she’s not annoyed at me, like I thought she was. I cried tears of gratitude as I read it.

I am happy and grateful that I finally plucked up the courage and sent her that email, and another one that I did last week- both resulted in very positive outcomes!

I also went to the women’s health centre, which is less than a mile from me, to sign up for cheaper holistic treatments, unfortunately they were closed for their Summer holidays, but I’ll go back on Monday and sign up.

I was persistent, clear & calm requesting a telephone conversation with a business client (who is also recently my ex), so that we could establish boundaries around a working relationship going forward.

I conducted that business conversation calmly, and with dignity, despite my being so extremely hurt & angry by him. I want to finish the project, because I love doing this type of work & I know it will bring results in his business, and I love being part of that. It sucks that it’s for him though, if I’m honest. Because I don’t believe he valued me, and I believe as soon as he realised how ill I actually am, that at the moment I’m not the high powered, energetic business woman that I usually am, he stopped loving me.

So the success around that is, he wasn’t treating me appropriately, I communicated that it was unacceptable- I am no longer in an unsatisfying relationship= Woo Hooo!!! That is success in my book! (despite my heart feeling like it’s been ripped out).

During the conversation with him, he brought something person in, and I calmly and clearly communicated that it was a personal issue, and not up for discussion in our business relationship. I said “I am happy to be civil and have a good business relationship with you, but discussion of anything person is off the table”

Well done me!!!!!!!!

Woooooo Hoooooooooooooo!!!! 21 months ago

Things that I’ve done well, so far today:

Walked my dog, picked up her poop.
Brushed my dog.
Had a conversation with a friend that was positive & enjoyable.
Took time to think about potential business project.
Replied to query emails about the business project.
Tapped (used EFT) when I experienced difficult emotions.
Read an article in New Scientist about Mind over matter & healing the body.
Shared excerpts from the article with friends on fb.
Set up this goal, and decided to reconnect with 43t, and the amazing people on here.
Cleaned my kitchen & washed up.
Cooked a healthy & nutritious lunch.
Feeling back in my own power, after being in a relationship since March. 21 months ago