I really can’t remember the last time I actually made an effort to invite people to go somewhere, if there was such a time.
So I thought it’d be a great idea. It’s a huge step out of my comfort zone – it’s frightening, I’m slightly freaked out for not knowing the people I invited all that well and am willing to just cancel everything and stay home, preferentially hiding under my bed.
As I said, perfect.
I called L. C. and asked her to invite her best friend, S.
This friend of mine, P., helped me organize and contact people, which I thought would be great and, at first, was.
But he’s starting to get waaay into it, and is now trying to convince me to invite people he is friends with.
Thing is, they are not my friends. At all. I hang out with ‘em ocasionally, since they’re friends with my guys, but we don’t even talk… not really.
Then why the hell should I invite them?
Also, one of this ‘strangers’ make me really uncomfortable and uneasy. He can be extremely shallow, rude and… self-seeking? He’s seldom nice to me.
In fact, he’s seldom nice to anyone.
I don’t like him.
I don’t even have anything to talk about with him.
He makes me so self-concious and insecure I barely try, to be honest.
His posture is so judgemental and arrogant I wonder how people bear having him around.
I don’t want to invite him, I really don’t. I think it’ll suck if he shows up, ‘cause I’ll get so nervous I’ll start to act weird and won’t be able to mantain a conversation with anyone.
Fuck you, R.
You spoiled brat.
Fuck you for being rude to me when I was the only one not ignoring you. Fuck you for trying to be so superior.
And it sucks that if I explain this to P., he won’t even listen. He’ll think I’m some sort of unreasonable weirdo and try to convince me I’m wrong.
It also sucks that R. is the group’s “Alpha Male”. If he finds out I didn’t invite him, he’ll get even more detestable.
I’m so angry at P. right now for putting me in this situation I could scream.
I guess I’m calling Link and asking him who else I should invite. Maybe I should invite Carol too, she usually makes me feel better.
Fuck this shit, I’m hiding under my bed this Tuesday all day and you can’t stop me. 16 months ago