feel beautiful again

For most of the past ten years, I have worked from home. It has been great for me, for the most part, because I can be more productive with less interruptions, plus I can get more household stuff done without the commute and having to get dressed up every day. However, not taking the effort to be “ready for prime time” every day, as well as some changes due to having a baby, have taken a toll on my self-esteem. I’m not really interested in receiving compliments from other people, although that’s nice. I just want to get to where I feel like I’ve done everything I can do to be at my best so that I’m ready for anything, whether it be a day at home, a corporate meeting, or my sister-in-law’s wedding.

I have been having issues with my self-esteem lately. These negative emotions seem to be dominating my thoughts and at times I find myself just feeling horrible, ugly, and fat. I know a lot of people go through this at one point or another but it feels so isolating. I keep looking at pictures of when I was younger and thinking to myself, how could I have been so blind? I want anything to go back to those days and take better care of myself, and to realize that I was (am still) beautiful.

He tells me that I am beautiful everyday and I can’t ever seem to find the strength to believe him.