tied him down, gave him an hour long blow job. Then later, took him out to JaKs so he could have the Porterhouse. What the hell. He deserved it.3 weeks ago
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If I were not me, and if I were not him, but I were us, our relationship, our marriage, what would be my identity?
What would I give voice to? What would I say?
If I were not me, and I were not him, but I were us, who would I be?
I would be something long standing. I would be something durable. Sturdy.
I would be wash-and-wear. Not fussy. No expensive dry-clean only. No requirement for hand-wash in cold. Just, very, very occasional need for a touch-up iron. But yes, just toss in the washer, on warm, then in the dryer, and generally, you can pull out the relationship, and you can put it on right then. Maybe a bit faded from so much use, but the muting is okay.
If I were our relationship, I would be soft, not crisp. But not mushy, either.
If I were our relationship, I would neither be a too-bold flavor, nor bland. Maybe allspice and thyme. 2 months ago
How I did it: I don't know about others but I grew up on idealized versions of how love is.My parents had a rock solid marriage and my childhood movies has made me think of it as this perfect little dream.
I bonded with his mom,who I slightly admire and envy at the same time.
Envy cause she has flawless skin and a perfectly flat stomach.Makes me wanna ditch the whole carb stuff.
Admire cause she is the mom I wish I had.Kind,lyrical,she stands her presence in a room without shouting.
My man and me have done it,in 4 years we are getting married,he will find his job and I will complete education.
Since I am commitment phobic this scares me off the roof.
But I will get to spend time with the guy with the most beautiful heart in the world.
And inlaws who are extremely peaceful people.
I think I can see where my baby gets his attitude in life. 3 months ago
roasted lamb chops marinated in rosemary, garlic, and balsamic vinegar
Sounds odd, but actually was perfect: organic celery sticks for dessert. 3 months ago
He made a spectacular supper of
roasted brussel sprouts and beets
mashed potatoes (from the garden) 6 months ago
It’s after 5:00 PM, and he’s not here. His job interview was at 1:00 PM.
Several possibilities, let’s hope for: job interview went so incredibly well, they just kept him there, and he was or will be hired shortly. 8 months ago
I deleted that other goal. I re-read all the entries. Too much of his pain was buried in them. Too much of my complaining. The goal was not constructive. I tried to change the wording of it, and I dk if there was just a 43t hiccup, or what. But the website said it couldn’t change it at this time. I just deleted it. I wish all the associated pain could be just as easily deleted in real life.
I adopted this goal. I’ve had a similar one in the past. This is more constructive. I am not sure about the “every day” part of the goal, as I don’t want to feel obligated to be here every day. But maybe it doesn’t mean, “write about it here every day”. Maybe it just means, “do it every day”.
We’ll see how it goes. 10 months ago
So I am still with him,and I wouldn’t be anywhere else.Maybe I am so tuned to him,and even when things go wrong,just being with him makes my world complete.I dont know how much I love him..
I want to refocus my priorities to people who make me happy.That’s the only qualification and that wud be all that matters to me.Groups shift so fast in uni,I need to get back in tune with people I want to be around with,who make me light up.
Just to happiness and love.and closing and opening new chapters.Life is a story isnt it?worth making it a beautiful one… 11 months ago
Cherishes me,makes me literally feel like the only girl in the world.
Cares for making this moment for me special.Now,forever.I feel I should be like that for people.
Loves me for nothing but myself.
His kisses and love drives me insane!!!
He wants and made me promise that I’d be the best of myself,no matter what.Up ahead,work on financial security and learn skills for it.I want to be self sufficient.Don’t want him to have to take care of me,ever. 12 months ago
date things appreciated things intended to do things he did
27/3 took care of him
like he does of me
brought him breakf
28/3 wish him a good morn wish him a good morn he responded lovingly 14 months ago
Yesterday when I met him,he just hugged me.We had food,which was needed as I was broke and starving.Then we chilled and watched a movie with friends,something about a child genius in chess.I love the scene where the lady goes “He has trouble making friends” the father goes,”This child has a gift,and is better at something both you and I will be at anything in our entire lives.When you can appreciate that,then we will have a conversation.”Epic.
We woke up in the morning and frankly I was too snug to be able to make it out of the bed.When we finally went to watch the match the next day,he brought me a sandwich from the stadium canteen.You know,he is like my wonderwall(yes,yes oasis).I cant feel at unease when he is around.
I swear I wanna marry him.
But he wont let me, doesn’t believe in it.Yesterday we were talking and he mentioned “Yeah will be interesting to see the guy you will marry one day” and it hurt.Trust me when I say this,I know he loves me.And the care and respect I get from him is just too much.But he always puts it off.And it doesn’t help I am falling bad for him.
I know its at least a decade before I should be worrying about it,and about at least 6 plus years for him.But still,I can see myself being with someone else,but its always with him in the back of my mind.I feel sometimes that,if this relationship ever ends(hope not),I will never bother dating someone else unless if I wanna be with them,and they have intentions like that for a special someone.However,if our relationship ends I wanna spend a year writing it down,coz its the best time I ever had.
Yesterday,since its been a year since I wore heels,my feet were killing me on the way back home.So when we were finally alone,and after my “I swear I am not drunk” friend knocked over soup on me and my friend next to me and I took countless tissues to wipe the mess off,we were going home,and I asked him to carry me back.And he simply did.So,at 4 am in the night,I am in my dress,and boots and having my boyfriend give me a piggy back ride till my home,with all the good memories of us flashing before in my head.
He said he is pretty sure I am enjoying this,and I was like “I am recording this in my memory forever,the guy who I have the biggest crush on, give me a piggy-back ride back home at 4 am.”And I told him I loved him.And he kissed me and said he did too.I swear,he changes the way I look at fairy tales.
He did not let me sleep in his room,as he wanted me to make it to the bank today.We never end up doing anything except get all over each other when we are together.Its really thoughtful.Even right now as I am writing this,my heart is beating like in early teens.I am really like 20,but its not like my first relationship in a long shot,yet this guy makes me weak on the knees,like no one in the past has.And trust me,I had some great relationships.
Well,sometimes you gotta let go the best thing you ever thought you will have,to let better things come to you.For me that’s my baby.Who keeps redefining love for me.
Lord,let it last. 14 months ago
I dressed up and met my guy yesterday.We literally hugged standing for like three minutes,just holding each other.I couldn’t sleep the night before and having him in my arms was soo perfect.I told him I missed him like hell.Its amazing that no matter how vulnerable I am in front of him,he never lets me feel insecure.I don’t know how he does that, but its easiest in the world to open up to him.
We laid down in bed for a while.After a while,he seemed to get his mojo up,but I told him I was too tired to do anything as I couldn’t sleep last night.So well we both just lay there hugging each other.
Later our common friends decided to bug us in the night.so we spend most of the night just chilling around.In the morning we watched the animal,and it made me crack up laughing.Yup thats it.
I love him for the fact he can make me sooo happy,by just being himself.I love the goddamn way he feels next to me.I love his voice,his kisses,his ultra caring attitude.
He.Is.The.Awesomest.:P 14 months ago
So…I dressed up to meet my boyfriend,spend a day at his place,did some amazing stuff (wayy to shy to say :P)
Made him feel special,well yes I did :) Cant complain,he made me so happy.
I love him. 14 months ago
Well talked to him…my sweetheart is sooo awesome ( I am one of those corny romantics ) He actually sent me 8 messages telling me how much he loves me,and yes everyone of them counts.
My baby has a heart of a child,he hasn’t yet been hurt enough to not stop loving unconditionally the girl he wants to be with…such an upgrade over my ex :D
Is as caring as a girl could ever want.He can’t come to my dorm,but he actually tried teasing me with vicks,warm food and hugs at his place…awwwww
I am going right in this relationship :) 14 months ago
Didnt do much,just didn’t criticise him.And made a point to show how much I appreciate his efforts.
I love him for the fact,that just thinking about him makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside,and happy.A guy that can make you feel great :)
5 months and still not rough!!its going good :) 14 months ago
How I did it: After going through a bit of a rough patch with my Man, I realized that part of why I was so cranky was because I was focusing on the negative. So I resolved to appreciate one thing about him every single day for a month. Even if there wasn't anything specific that he had done for me that day, I would think of a character trait or something he had done in the past and write an entry about that to appreciate it.
The Man stands by his principles, sometimes to a fault. It’s been an issue in school as he finishes his degree, because he is often unwilling to just lie down and take much of the bullshit that goes along with higher education.
I learned a long time ago that you can approach most everything in life is a means to an end, and I’ll do what I need to do to accomplish my goals. Sometimes, that means jumping through stupid hoops or biting my tongue or putting on a smile when I really don’t want to. He, on the other hand, would sooner give up on the goal than compromise his ideal.
There are times when it makes me crazy, because it would be so much EASIER to just suck it up and get through it (whatever “it” is). But I do love knowing that my man will fight like hell for what he thinks is right. It makes me glad to have him on my side. 17 months ago
I am a dumbass, and I forgot to email myself the papers I needed for today’s lesson plans. The Man, awesome dude that he is, got woken up by me in the early hours of the morning calling him freaking out. He got through my computer’s layers of security passcode nonsense, found the file buried deep in the recesses of the teaching folders, and emailed it to me in plenty of time for me to do what I needed with it.
Oh yeah, and he had dinner ready when I came home.
I feel like this whole month he’s just been bailing me out. It’s unbelievably sweet of him, but it makes me kinda feel like a douche. I’m not used to needing to be bailed out.
I’m sure there’s a lesson in all this somewhere, but I’m way too bleeding exhausted to dwell on it right at this moment. 17 months ago