be compassionate

My relationship between my boyfriend and I is struggling because I don’t show him compassion like I should. When he needs comforting all I do is be silent and it just makes things worse. How does one learn to become more compassionate for the one you love?

I am of the opinion, based on my experiences… that the largest obstacle to compassion is pride.

In many of the situations where compassion could be practiced, the every day situations… whether or not to give someone a hard time for forgetting something/someday, whether or not to counter a harsh remark with one in return, things of this nature… where it is difficult to be compassionate… why is it so hard? Pride.

It is easy to be compassionate to people who are so obviously in need of compassion. It is very difficult to give grace to those who are, in our eyes, undeserving.

Having had anger problems in the past (and pride problems in the present)... I know how hard it can be… for me, it comes down simply to reminding myself of the futility of responding in pride and the helpfulness (perhaps not even immediate) to both parties (or all parties) in responding compassionately.

Of course, this doesn’t always work, especially when overthinking is involved.

Anyhow, just my two cents… cheers!

I’m losing my grasp. D is an ocean of tranquility. I wish I could stay there.

I was listening this morning “Sólo le pido a Dios” (I only ask of God) sang by Mercedes Sosa

Here are the lyrics:

Solo le pido a Dios (I only ask of God)
Que el dolor no me sea indiferente (Not to be indefferent to suffering)
Que la reseca muerte no me encuentre (That old Death won’t find me empty and alone without having done enough)
Vacio y solo sin haber echo lo suficiente

Solo le pido a Dios (I only ask of God)
Que lo injusto no me sea indiferente (Not to be indifferent to injustice)
Que no me abofeteen la otra mejia (Not to give the other cheek)
Despues que una garra me arane esta frente (after a paw had cut my face)

Chorus:
Solo le pido a Dios (I only ask of God)
Que la guerra no me sea indiferente (Not to be indifferent to war)
Es un monstro grande y pisa fuerte (It’s a big monster that )
Toda la pobre inocencia de la gente (stomps on people’s innocence)
Es un monstro grande y pisa fuerte (It’s a big monster that )

Toda la pobre inocencia de la gente (stomps on people’s innocence)

Solo le pido a Dios (I only ask of God)
Que el engano no me sea indiferente (Not to be indifferent to falsehood)
Si un traidor puede mas que unos quantos (If a traitor can do more than a few)
Que esos quantos no lo olviden facilmente (That those few won’t forget easily)

Sometimes I forget to be compasive with myself. Sometimes I feel despair, sometimes I wonder what’s wrong with people, sometimes I sigh, and take a deep breath, sometimes I just feel sad and then, someone somewhere does an unnoticed good deed, somewhere a child laughs and smiles, somewhere an old couple support each other while they walk, compassion, innocence,love, and I regain my hope, my strenght, and sadness turns into joy and I keep going.

Life have been a little rough ride past months, I stopped doing all the things I wanted to do to be a better human being. To be able to say “I’m human” with a lot of conviction. To be able to say “I’m a man”, the value, not the sex label.

I’m not sure why I’m musing all this. Something happened today that remembered me my goal of living the buddhist dictum of taking responsability for all sentient beings. When I readed it, I told myself, this is what I want to do. The question is, how to do it?

It’s incorrect to assume that since I’ve changed the way I see people they also had changed. I must confess I was in the brink of ordering some fire and brimstone to fall from heaven on top of two persons today but then I stopped, relaxed, and put myself on their shoes. I found I was the one to blame hahaa, and so they were right on their claims. I remembered how in the past I would just jump to assumptions, looking for evil behind people actions out of my own fear and insecurities. I guess they both did the same, since I’m so parc when I speak lately “assuming” people won’t see any evil behind my actions. I should take “assuming” out of my vocabulary and also “hate”. I found one of these persons using it in the context of another human and I felt so revoltedl, it happened that I had been researching about the holocaust early this morning and I readed testimonials, stories, saw and heard the harm such an uneventful word in the wrong hands can produce.

But what a feeling when you see how the face of a human being relax when you face his violence with kindness.

There’s a saying if someone fails you once, is their fault, but if they fail you twice, then is yours.

It’s hard to give the other cheek sometimes, it’s hard to balance our own sake for benefit of those who are our responsability.

I’m responsable for every human being. Isn’t that the nature of compassion I thrive for?

Somehow I feel T has improved the quality of his friends. I really liked them and could feel what mexicans call “buena vibra” or good vibes.

Marisol amazed me, she looks like someone trying to get the best from herself, Irma is easygoing and her view on life is very alike, Wendy has such beautifuls colours around her everytime.

It’s been a while…