21. Why on earth do people say things like, “my eyes aren’t what
they used to be?” So what did they used to be? Ears?
Wellington boots?
Billy Connolly
22. In airplanes, why is there no window in the toilet? Who on
earth is going to see in?
Billy Connolly
23. When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henry Youngman
24. They say men can never experiance the pain of childbirth.
They can if you hit them in the goolies with a cricket bat
– for fourteen hours.
Jo Brand
25. I do not object to people looking at their watches when I’m
speaking. But I strongly object when they start shaking
them to make certain they are still going.
Norman Birkett
