stop worrying about things I cannot change

...stop worrying about things I can do nothing about…things that I do not even know are happening or are ture…and things I cannot change even if I knew for sure that they WERE true? Some things hurt even if deep down I know they shouldn’t, and perhaps they shouldn’t be things that I should be worrying about? Why can’t I trust someone I care for when they say that everything is all right? I guess it has always been a big deal with me..trusting folks isn’t easy for me with my family background, where I felt betrayed at every turn. I am sure that if I stopped to think I would be ok, but this is a failing with me…I always fear the worst even if there is no valid reason to feel that way.
I am sure that I will manage, I always do… but it don’t make me feel good…

Stop worrying about Stocks loss in 2008.
Wrong investements in property.

at this goal. I read a comment on spudlogic’s list… he’s right! Practice, practice, practice. It works!

working on it.

What a wonderful idea for a site! I found it by accident but am so glad that I did.
I feel very stretched at the moment with parents who are both very ill and live several hours away, plus teenager issues especially my daughter who has been very very low for more than a year. I wake in the night and worry. It does no good. I am already doing my best. I want to be more positive and focus on what I can do.. then let go of the outcome. But it is hard.

When I’ve described it to my friends and family I like to use the door nob example. You see a door it has a nob that you know will open it, so you reach out and turn it. It’s an observation fallowed by an action.
Replace the door with worry and what do you do? What’s the action that opens the door to a worry free life? Well, the answer is stop, turn it off, practice, practice, practice!
When I first went to see my old therapist I came in and said “my life is in chaos and I spend most of my day freaking out about all the things I need to do”... Her response was “how’s that working out for you?” And that is the answer…
Is worrying about something getting you any closer to having it resolved? No, worrying is just the act of sitting and freaking out or even worse, you’re doing something else and your brain is busy not with the task at hand but instead it’s freaking out over something completely unrelated to what you’re doing.
Practice! How do you practice not worrying about things? You focus on what you’re doing. If you’re focused on writing, working, walking the dog or what ever it is, then you are not worrying about something else. Be conscious about what you are thinking about and soon you’ll notice that it’s much more fun and relaxing to focus on what you’re doing than worrying about something else.
Lets say you have a house with a mortgage and you’ve been living off of the HELOC for 3 years and it’s about to run out. You can see almost to the day when you’ll be completely out of money. You’ve gone out to look for a job but you’re not having much luck. The day is getting closer and closer. Three weeks before you run out of money you’re invited to spend the day with some friends. You spend the entire day carefree and enjoying your friends and allowing them to enjoy you as well. If you chose to worry instead you probably wouldn’t even go and if you did, your brain would be so wound up that you’d probably have a terrible time.
The choice is yours. Once you realise that you are the only one who controls your thoughts you will find that you have very little to worry about and anything that does sneak in is noticed and a plan is put in place to resolve the issue with out the stress of worry. If there is no plan then you talk to some one, a friend or therapist to help you come up with a plan to resolve the problem. But you only think about that problem when it is the THING you are working on, not before and not after.
Good luck

I might as well not worry about things I can’t change. I mean after all what good would it be to worry in the first place? It won’t solve the problem and it just puts me in a bad mood. But I bet this is one of those goals that is easier said than done. It’s still worth a shot though.

So I am moving it to my done pile

Can I change the way I feel? I mean I love and I want to move on…Can I stop loving? NO! Or can I??? I really want to So that I can Move on in my current relationship completely. I feel like I am holding something back. And I don’t want to be holding anything back. I want to change this. But can I? I am so worried about it. It is effecting everything else. Probably something else that would be good to bring up in therapy today.

That I cannot change, It’s like it’s all coming flooding back all at once. I have all this anger and this feeling of injustice. That I wasn’t treated the way I should have been treated as a child. Yes I believe that if you are under 18 you are still a child. that you are still under your parent’s care and they should treat you a certain way. and my mother did not give me the love and nuturing that I needed and so desperately craved. I just wanted her to love me. But she was too busy drinking and doing drugs. That is why I have never drunk to excess or done drugs. I never ever want to be like her. And sometimes I might go overboard with my affection, but I believe that children should know that they are loved. SO I used to tell ny stepdaughters at least 50 times a day how much I love them. And I tell eric at least 20 times a weekend that I love him. and how handsome he is. because he needs to know that he is cared for. And that someone loves him. I always kiss his head and wish him sweet dreams. My mom never tucked me in. He is too big to be tucked in but I figure that little gueture means a little something to him. I once asked him if it embarrasses him When I say I love him or kiss him and he said no. that he liked it. so maybe he needs to hear it. SO maybe I can change his life a little bit. I know I can’t change my past but maybe I can influence his future.