I have discovered that chaos refers largely to the organisation of my life and living environment. I feel that things are chaotic when:

- items are dumped or displaced, especially in weird and unlikely places, and therefore require extended and systematic searching efforts to retrieve
- clear plans are not agreed upon (even if the plan is to wing it)
- holidays are decided the day before instead of a week to several months before
- things that are agreed upon are repeatedly not followed through on
- promised chores are not done

I hate this goal because it relies on retraining someone else. I eventually came to the conclusion that this was not possible and that we were incompatible. I kicked him out and cut off contact for a while. This resulted in a 180 degree turn around and a gargantuan effort that has been sustained for the last month.

I have decided that I will mark this goal as done if it is sustained for six months and the continuing problem with putting things in extremely strange places is fixed.

I am not hopeful. I can’t work out if that is the cynicism of the deeply hurt or an important lesson. 4 months ago