Dear 43 Things Users,

10 years after introducing 43 Things to the world, we have decided we have met our last goal: completing the incredible experience that has been 43 Things. Please join us in giving one last cheer to all the folks who have shared their goals with the world, as well as all the people who have worked at The Robot Co-op to build this incredible website. We won a Webby Award, published a book, and brought happiness to a lot of people.

Starting today, 43 Things users can export their goals and entries from the site. Starting August 15, we will make the site “read only”. 43 Things users will still be able to view the site and export their content, but we won’t be taking any new content from users. We hope to leave the site up for folks to see and download their content until the end of the year. Ending on New Year’s Eve takes us full circle.

It has been a long ride (one of our original goals was to "build a company that lasts at least 2 years” - we beat that one!) While we wish the site could live on, it has suffered from a number of challenges - changes in how people use the site, the advertising industry, and how search engines view the site. We wish the outcome was different – but we’ve always been realistic about when our goals are met and when they aren't.

As of today, you will be able to download your goals and entries. See more about that on the FAQ page. Thanks for 10 great years of goal-setting and achieving.

- The Robots.

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live life with the man of your dreams

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Beginnings Hereit is more than a year later

odd year.

he is here more than ever.

but he is not going to be the man of my dreams.

coaching him.

not what i want to be doing.

i had wanted to be living life with him. maybe a different him. 4 months ago


Beginnings Herepast eight...

no longer sure. as we head to nine months…

i feel the commitment i have toward him.

i am not feeling the commitment he has toward me.

he has gone quiet still.

odd, though, when i ask him about it, he still isn’t responding, but he is behaving in very loving, caring ways.

a friend speculated that he could be a guy that once he says it, that’s it – its out and there is no need to repeat it.

now, he says this is what he is about – but i can’t imagine he has nothing more to offer to our conversation.

having a tough time processing what is happening.

i kept hoping he was in a place of figuring it out and thinking it through… maybe he is still there.

i want to hear him. i am not. 18 months ago


Beginnings HereSix months and still going strong

We just celebrated our six month anniversary. Going well and strong. We plan the future. We discuss the future. We are walking in the direction of a shared future.

I am relaxed about it. I am happy about it. We are building the infrastructure for our lives to be together…financially, real estate-wise, and work-wise – starting to walk in the direction of a true partnership.

I am happy. How can you truly meet someone and know on the first date this is someone you want to live the rest of your life with? Still not sure how it happened, but I know I would be happy to do so. 21 months ago


Beginnings HereWe canned this past weekend

We harvested goodies from the garden and spent all of Sunday during Labor Day Weekend canning. I never had before so this was a real treat. This upcoming weekend we will be focused on tomatoes for freezing and sauce, too.

We also painted our new bedroom that he has been building. Pretty color! We spend each weekend joined at the hip doing so many projects and activities together. We just love each other’s company. Spent the weekend prior touring to favorite sights while driving in the convertible enjoying the weather, each other and the beautiful vistas. Same thing with trying to take time each weekend for bike rides in beautiful settings. We look for things we both enjoy and point them out to each other. It is so small and yet so big. The closeness. The intimacy. The enjoying of each other.

We have now watched the Game of Thrones series together – something he wanted to share with me as a shared activity. And his family…so many of them…all brought together as a group for me to be a part of this.
Unbelievable how loved I feel by them. Not sure if he will be able to experience anything similar with mine. We shall see. He so wanted me to meet his family and be a part of them. They surround him and he is their collective rock. They build from him. He anchors them. And, you can see that the mantle was passed to him from the two generations before him and the two after him. He is centered in this placement. It is such a beautiful thing to witness. He has no idea what it looks like to the outside observer. He hosts them all. Tends to them all. Takes care of them all. And I, I get to take care of him. And more than ever before, I have someone who takes care of me. So very, very lovingly. So overtly and so subtly. Sometimes I can’t see how much he does it because he so predicts what my needs will be. He is someone who gives so much. I am so blessed. So loved. So fortunate.

I found him. I love him. He loves me.

Tonight…we celebrate! The long awaited reward for my work.

It is wonderful. It is wonderful to have him to share this with. I hope to make this a magical night!

For him. For me. For us.

In the meantime…I am living, and loving life with the man of my dreams. 22 months ago


Beginnings Hereour first fight

and I missed it…

he thought we had a fight. he followed me to the garden and wanted hugs and kisses. thought i was upset.

i had just gone for a walk to the garden with the puppy.

then, we actually had a disagreement. lol 1 year ago


Beginnings HereOn a vacation without him, but he may as well be here

He permeates every thought.

He lives in my head. For the 10 days we are apart, he is as close as ever. He resides in my heart. Firmly planted in my being. I cannot escape him. I don’t want to. I am so grateful that I have found what others around me seemed able to have found – all these many years, while I could not. Was it me – not ready? Was it not my time? How many years I didn’t/couldn’t/wouldn’t “settle”? How many years I wanted this man? How many years was he elusive? How many years, I must have taken to align so many things to work out for me?

They have aligned. The light and the dark. The good and the bad. The right time and the wrong time. The perfect moment of convergence is here. I do not mourn any years past without him. I know I couldn’t be here, ready for him, without the passage of those years, the preparation I needed for his arrival. I see with both eyes… I see him so clearly. He has allowed me to do so. I hope I have allowed him to see me as transparently has he has opened himself up to me to see the shadow and the light within him.

I sit on the beach and dream of what our lives can and will look like. What I want from the life we will live together. Where we will travel to and who will be in our lives. And, who will not. lol

I reframe my norm to include him and his. What will the new norm look like? Will I be happy? Yes! I know that I can be happy with someone who is willing to work, as I am, for the partnership we have sought our lifetimes to have. He has my back. He will protect me. He will cook for me. (Mr. Grill man!) He will love me. He will take care of me. Funny thing, is that I can finally allow someone to do all those things! I was so busy taking care of myself for so many years, and those around me, I wouldn’t allow anyone else to do for me. Part of my learning and growth has been to allow someone in – to do those things. I don’t have anything to prove. I just want to love someone completely and that does mean allowing another to do those things to express their love for me. I have to allow him into me and mine. I was so busy proving I didn’t need anyone to take care of me, that I couldn’t allow someone in. He is there for me in a way I have never felt before. Rock solid he is. I respect that, because I believe I am that as well – for him and those around me, that depend on me. Our relationship feels like “the wedded rocks” of Japan. One large rock and one small rock are joined together – connected – to become the birthplace of a nation. I feel very much this is what our joining will mean. The creation of a new nation! It is our corner of the world – the world we have both imagined and built in our heads, sought in our hearts, and will manifest in physical space. Our nation will be a place that family and friends can gather within, feel safe and comforted, and loved and embraced. We live that separately, now it is time to build that nation together – forged by the bond we have within each other – the trust we feel in each other.

Our nation – built on spider monkey tradition – involves a lot of embracing. Holding each other. And a long history of good monkey behavior. Jane Goodall would be happy.

This is going to be fun.

See what a little free time does for the soul? We birthed a nation while on vacation!

I love the man of my dreams. 2 years ago


Beginnings HereOur two month anniversary

He bought me a Harley jacket! He has a bike and has slowly, gently, gotten me to go out for short rides on the most gorgeous of weekend days. I have come to love these little bursts of holding him as we spin through the world bound and locked up together at 60 MPH.

More than the jacket, we have had the “talk” the one where we know we are willing to commit to a lifetime together – and that what we find in each other – is what we want in our lives together.

We did a sun salutation together to honor the solstice. We celebrated with sushi. We held each other…for days and nights on end. He calls me his spider monkey. We have songs about it. We have photos. We played golf together and he is a wonderful teacher since it had been many years for me. I continue to meet every relative he has. I am willing to, for the first time, put my relationship status on FB. We garden together. We juice and make salads. We make smoothies for each other – trying to out do each other. We get up with the other one – no matter how early – to help the early riser out the door. We partner well – in everything. From making meals to cleaning to driving to gardening. We are a yin and yang. And when we ask each other if this has been all too easy – and if this is a good or bad thing – that we feel like we just belong to each other in a way that fits – we concur it is the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to us – and that it took a lifetime of mistakes, failures, successes to teach us how to be good partners. This time in life prepared us for what we wanted – and now that we found each other – we can live the life we dreamed of…finally.

Incredible. So integrated into my life. And two months ago, I didn’t even know his name. I am going to live life with the man of my dreams. Thanks, 43 things, for asking me what I wanted.

I wanted to live life with the man of my dream…and now…I get to do just that. 2 years ago


Beginnings Herethe comfort is incredible

our thursday – sunday has stretched now thursday – tuesday. we may as well concede that we’d be happy living together 7 days, not just 5 days a week. odd how time passes and we cannot separate – for even short periods feel as if some vital organ has been ripped from our functional capacity.

our long weekend is now stretched into the week – even when unplanned like last night when he just showed up so that we didn’t have to wait days to see each other.

miss him the moment i close the door. 2 years ago


Beginnings Herelife continues to evolve

as does the man and the time I spend with him. I love him. Time with him teaches me that we are like a hand and a glove…a bat and a ball…a ring and a finger…one just belongs and was made for the other….through the darkness…i can see your light…and you will always shine and I can feel your heart in mine…your face I’ve memorized … I look up to everything you are…in my eyes you do no wrong…i’ve loved you for so long… just couldn’t find you… now i have. 2 years ago


Beginnings Herecornered me in the kitchen - he did

when i saw him at the early start of our weekend – he offered that he’d be my boyfriend – if it was ok to call him that…me, the girlfriend! don’t you love that moment – the one where you make this conscious decision to define what you are – so that you can identify it externally and internally….so we did. It was nice.

But, the next night, he declared, in the middle of a very small gathering of concert-goers – that he loved me. He knew I loved him, too. Well, I did say it back. But you all knew it a couple of weeks ago! I told him the effort to not say it was so great – I couldn’t hold it back any longer either. He just beat me to it.

I had gone to see Dark Shadows earlier in the week – and during the opening credits – they played Nights in White Satin – and my heart screamed from every pore of my being since Monday – Yes I love you! By the time I saw him Thursday it was emanating from me – expressed at every turn – that of course we had to let it go…

what a way to fall in love.

what a dream.

then we planted his garden on Sunday. a big beautiful bountiful garden.

we shall reap what we sow. as he said, the couple that gardens together, stays together. it is our plan. he has created utopia. i get to live in it…on weekends. My place during week nights. i am living life with the man of my dreams.

what a man. man-o-man. and he cooks. made me spectacular meals. turkey pesto feta burgers. wow. salads. steaks. portabella mushrooms marinated in balsamic with blue cheese. honestly…he is the man of my dreams. 2 years ago


Beginnings Herefourth, fifth, sixth, seventh...eighth

how many times can you gain validation….that you are living life with the man of your dreams…. i suppose when i am at 250…1690…10,602 – i will know. in the absence of a long time to know…it is at the moment a dream come true.

i love him. i knew it the first time we met. we are madly in love. it happened so fast. i am sure no one watching us would believe it – and yet it is so mistakably real and heart bursting to go through the experience of falling so crazily, madly in love.

I have no idea whether it will last. I just know what is.

This is what you wonder if you will ever find. And then one day it shows up…love. in the purest form. not the analytics version of love. just pure feeling. ow. oh. mmmm. bliss. joy. happiness. brain on a high. zen like life. 2 years ago


Beginnings HereThird gathering...

showing me his world. Wow. how open and honest. here it is.

it is wonderful. lots of toys. lol

cares about the land, his family, his friends and creature comforts.

as for me…i watch, witness…learn and wonder… how much of my dreams he is made of…how much of my dream he lives. 2 years ago


Beginnings Herei met someone

i knew within the first few hours i wanted to be with him…forever.

did anyone you ever meet convince you that they were it for you?

i have a long way to go in discovery however if there was someone who provided a warmth, a glow and a home in his arms….

it was there…just waiting for me.

wow. 2 years ago


Beginnings HereLine in "To Sir With Love"

Marriage isn’t for the selfish, the weak or the insecure.

Great thought. 2 years ago


Beginnings Here 2 years ago


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