I was listening to a tape this morning and the person suggested:
Face the worst case scenario, then snap into solution mode and figure out what you are going to do about it. Make a plan around this worst case. This neutralizes your fear because you now have a plan.
This makes sense to me. It takes the “power” out of the fear because you have an idea how you can act. I am going to try this for some things that are on my “fear list”. 2 days ago
That I will know what to do when my cats get sick, and any decision I make will be the right one. One of my older cats has been sick for a few months with a sinus infection. It turns out it is a fungus infection, which is hard to treat because there is poor circulation in the sinuses. I almost had him euthanized, but my sister mentioned that she didn’t think he was too sick, and she helped me get fluids into him (which he fights). She made it clear to me that sometimes we have to do things that our pets (or children) do not like, but is for their own good.
He has been getting fluids every 2-3 days, a pill every 3 days, oxygen treatments (in his cat carrier at home), supplements in his food, lots of encouragement to eat and drink, and energy treatments. It has been 2 days getting better, than a bad day. This weekend, I think we have finally turned the corner towards wellness.
I ordered some homeopathic medicine for him to treat the fungus. It arrived today, and I will start him on it tonight. His fur feels good, smooth and soft – which leads me to believe he is reasonably hydrated. He has been eating a bit more with less prodding on my part. And he has been drinking more water – which is wonderful because he doesn’t like the subQ fluids.
He still falls over when he shakes his head. He is a bit unstable when he walks which I think is from being weak. He went outside this morning (supervised) and spent almost an hour in the front yard. That is a good sign since being outside is good for him. He seems to be more responsive, and feeling a bit better.
I am looking forward to the entry I write where he is well, and playing, and enjoying life again. He is getting there slowly. This poor guy has already used several of his 9 lives. I don’t want him to use anymore. 6 days ago
One of my cats is very sick. He HATES the vet, and it is the only time I ever hear him growl – because he is so scared when we go there. So I put off taking him to the vets because it upsets him so much. Long story he has an infection that we now think is a fungal infection. I called the vet to see if she would prescribe anti-fungal medicine for him.
My fear is he will not recover from this infection. Because of that fear, I delayed taking him to the vet – arguing that he really hates going to the vet (which is true). However I should have taken him in sooner. We went last weekend. My sweet, loving cat was growling and so upset while we were there. I had them draw his blood while I held him, and he growled but never tried to bite or anything. I thought he was difficult, the vet techs said he was “easy”. (So I can only imagine how vicious other cats get because they are so afraid.)
He needs to gain some weight before they will do anything else for him. I talk to him and encourage him to eat, and I am doing energy healing on him. He is getting better – probably because he is eating more, and has more energy. We are in a holding pattern right now.
Anyway, for me calling the vet is a “fear” that I had to overcome because my cat can’t make the call. For now, I will continue to give him lots of love and attention, and work on his energy. 3 weeks ago
Because of fear, and because of procrastination. I am getting to the point where I don’t want these things hanging over my head, and I would rather face them then dread them.
They were over in less than 5 minutes. It wasn’t difficult once I made up my mind. There are other things in my life I need to face and get off my list of things to “do”. 3 weeks ago
I no longer fear this. I love me, I can handle this happily. Thhpppt fear you are my bitch! I am still afraid of changing careers hmmmm . . . 3 weeks ago
1. Believe that I can do this.
2. Take action, small steps each day, working towards a larger goal each week.
3. Measure the results.
4. Reinforce what is working and reevaluate what isn’t working as well as I want.
I will start with something easy – I must dance in public and feel great doing it.
1. I can dance, so the fear here only has to do with what other people think of me.
2. I can watch videos on YouTube and practice steps I like. I can dance when I have a few minutes of down time. Practice and learn.
3. Measure the results… I can record myself dancing and see improvements. I can ask a friend to “rate” my dancing and see how much I improve. Or I can do something and not worry what people think. Small steps to get over this fear. (I may need more work on defining how to measure this.)
4. If I am learning from YouTube videos, continue to watch them. Ask a good dance to teach me steps. Take dance lessons if videos are not getting me the results I want.
5. Repeat. Though at some point I need to actually dance in public. This plan may need revising. 3 weeks ago
Following up on this idea I posted at the tailend of another post:
Tony Robbins – One way to get rid of fear is to find something you fear more than what’s stopping you, that will motivate you to move. The best way is just to DO IT! When you do what you are afraid of, then your confidence grows. Don’t give yourself a choice, force yourself to do it.
I used this logic yesterday to start acting on something that I had been afraid to tackle. I realized that the larger fear far outweighed what I was putting off – and that got me to act. Now I can’t say that it was super easy, and fun. It wasn’t. It was very stressful and painful but I faced my fear and took ACTION!!!
Is everything now perfect? No. This is just a start on a long path – but I took those first steps. And when I got home today, after taking the first steps, I felt wonderful! Yes! I looked a fear in the eye and said “You are not going to stop me from acting!” That FEELS great!
In some ways this is a crazy way to get motivated, and in other ways it certainly motivates you to act.
I am watching more Tony Robbins videos on YouTube. If you watch enough, you can piece together his seminars. And I may decide to take one i the future. 4 weeks ago
I am watching a YouTube video on overcoming fear. He asked this question: “What would happen if this fear came true?” The idea is to write your answers out and keep following the train of thought until you exhaust ideas.
What would happen if I made a fool of myself by dancing in public? Honestly, very little. I would feel embarrassed, but that’s not a big deal. I would be motivated to take dancing lessons, or at least learn how to perform a few simple steps. Or I would get some friends to go with me when I wanted to dance in public (because there is safety in numbers). The bottom line is I would take action towards learning how to dance, and practice, and not worry what people thought of my dancing ability.
Simple enough in black and white. And simple enough to look at some videos on how to dance. And simple enough to practice a few steps. Let’s get moving PasadenaSue!
Tony Robbins – One way to get rid of fear is to find something you fear more than what’s stopping you, that will motivate you to move. The best way is just to DO IT! When you do what you are afraid of, then your confidence grows. Don’t give yourself a choice, force yourself to do it. 4 weeks ago
I think this is the real reason I do not want to sing or dance in public. My guess is this is related to being made fun of (or just the fear of being made fun of) in school decades ago. My approach is that I sing when I walk, and since most people are listening to their iPods, they really can’t hear me. If they do, oh well. It is helping me be less afraid of singing in public. 1 month ago
As a child I used to watch horror movies. I loved them, until I realized that I was afraid of all sorts of things because of these movies – spiders, cockroaches and grasshoppers. Sometimes we get large brown grasshoppers that fly erratically and land on people. When I used to see them, I would show one of my cats the grasshopper because they love to play with them. And then I would hightail it into the house for safety. :)
There was a large brown grasshopper on the front patio the other day. I wasn’t scared of it as much as I just don’t like them because they cling with their hooked feet. I decided to get it to fly away, so I prodded it with my foot. That worked, it flew – into the house and then straight back at me! Of course I turned away and then had thoughts that it landed on my back (though I knew it hadn’t since I didn’t feel anything). Arrgg.
Yesterday I went out to check on my roses and as I started to pull a rose towards me, who should I see but “Mr.” grasshopper sitting on the plant. We had a staring contest for a while. I decided he could stay put for now and I will check on my roses later.
Am I still afraid of grasshoppers? I don’t think so. I didn’t jump or feel my pulse increase. Do I like grasshoppers? Not really. Am I ready to hold one? Perhaps a small one but not the big brown ones – not yet at least. I give myself credit for remaining calm. Maye he will decide that another yard is more interesting to visit. 1 month ago
I think it is worth a try. I am old enough that common sense will protect me from doing something really dangerous, so fear does not need to be an emotion I carry with me. I understand that it has a basis for survival. My fears are not helping me survive, they are holding me back from living.
OK, maybe the time I tried to “pet” the cobra in India should have been tempered with a touch of fear, however I did ask first, and he said “yes”. After the snake let me know that it did not want me petting it, I realized that perhaps the “yes” didn’t mean he was giving me permission. Still, it was a beautiful snake! Hooded cobras are awesome!
I digress. Being afraid of dancing in public is not helping my survival. Being afraid of flying (this is a minor fear) just makes traveling less fun. So I want to get rid of these fears – all fears!
My chiropractor is helping me, and I have some techniques I am using to clear my fears. Tomorrow I need to go over to the Colorado Street Bridge and see if I have any fear of heights left. My unconscious says I am clearing the fears. Let’s see. 2 months ago
The only way to get over this “fear” is to sing in public! I was walking around the Rose Bowl, listening to music on my iPod and I decided to sing out loud. Now few people could actually hear me because most of the runners/walkers were listening to their own iPods. :) At first I just sang quietly out loud. Then I went to the little rose garden that I love, and I sang and sang louder. It was liberating in some ways. Cars drove by, people walked by and I knew they could hear me but I just focused on the music and sang.
Has that cured my fear? No. However it helped me to realize that singing is just a matter of practice and attitude. If I thought I was good at singing then I would be fine singing in public. If I practice, I will get better. It’s simple!
I’ll keep working on this. I have thought about driving up into the mountains, parking somewhere and singing to the coyotes and birds that live there. :) 2 months ago
Yesterday was commencement for my PhD. Even though I am not quite finished with my dissertation, I qualified to attend commencement. As we were waiting to enter the auditorium for the ceremony, I started getting nervous about the event. All I had to do was walk over to a platform, get hooded, walk over and shake the president’s hand, and leave the stage. How difficult is that?
I realized that my “fear” was being in front of so many people – even if 99% of those people could care less who I was! How silly that I would get nervous about that. The only people who were interested in my being there were my family and friends, and they would be happy regardless of what I did.
I understand this fear. I need to figure out what the actual driver is – lack of self confidence, or… As I write this I realize it is my lack of self confidence. Work to do! 2 months ago
And I can’t put my finger on it. I am procrastinating on something and I have been for a while. What am I avoiding? What am I afraid of? Does anyone have advice on how to determine what I am afraid of? I am stuck at this point, and am spending time trying to figure it out, instead of just doing what needs doing.
Thanks! 2 months ago
Letting go. Letting go of past accomplishments. Letting go of relationships that are no longer serving me. Letting go of dreams that will not be realized that I no longer want. Flylady had a great email about letting go the other day. I also need to let go of stuff that I have accumulated over the years.
And the BIG one – letting go of limiting beliefs I have about myself! 2 months ago
2013 is the year I face my fears. The first step is to identify them. Yes, this seems obvious, however some of my fears are actually hard to identify.
I know I am afraid of:
1. cockroaches – not any more
2. what other people think about me (though this is declining) -
2A. singing in public –
2B. dancing in public -
3. success/failure (I am not sure which one is the actual fear) -
4. expressing my emotions to some people -
5. letting go of things -
6. change -
7. being the center of attention in public (#2A and #2B) -
8. pushing myself -
9. confrontation -
10. heights -
11. Flying –
12. wildfires -
13. the ocean -
and probably a bunch of other small things. I have been focusing on the first few fears to overcome. My plan is to identify my fear, and figure out how to get rid of it. I know that the method involves changing how I think about the situation, or myself. And there are triggers. I will work through this list this year, adding more fears as I uncover them.
At least I am no longer afraid of spiders. :) 2 months ago
I am terrified of this job! Nothing great ever happens if we stay where we are comfortable! 4 months ago
Of someone not liking me. Really there’s not much they can do I me. Also less afraid of upsetting others. They will be ok and hey that’s life. 9 months ago
And I only say this because I have severe anxiety an struggle with even the simplist things, so every day that I do something that involves socializing or going out somewhere I will have faced a fear. 10 months ago