M values our relationship so much, and respects me so much, that he has set aside his old aggressive approach to dialogue about things that bug him. He is doing as marvelous job as he strives really hard to communicate his needs and desires without putting me down in any way, making threats, or even making me feel defensive. I appreciate how he is so actively evolving his style of interaction to keep our relationship healthy and solid for the long term. 4 months ago

I had another melt down yesterday (I’m thinking it is the hormonal swing of eating too much soy… but that is another story) and M was there gently guiding me and nurturing me as we sought to do the little things that would bring me back into physiological and emotional balance again. At his gentle urging I took an aromatherapy salt bath and sipped lemon water while he made me dinner. Not a single grumble about the fact that he had to leave off on his project to do so, or crankiness since I was the one initially going to prepare dinner for us both.

This is just one example of how he is there for me … 5 months ago

Life is throwing us curve balls, and he’s watching them coming, and jumping up to catch them when it would be more comfortable to bury his head in the sand. 9 months ago

He loves them, and appreciates them, but also sees them for who they really are complete with all their unfortunate aspects rather than getting taken in by the illusion they unconsciously strive to hard to weave. 9 months ago

Had an exhausting weekend with our whirlwind trip to NY. I spent a good portion of each night coughing, and disturbing his sleep. He kept his cool throughout, sometimes through honest compassion, other times through sheer will power. He drove us everywhere safely, thoroughly won my family’s hearts, and now that we’re back home, managed to drag himself out of bed and off to work without a single complaint even though we had far to short a night. 10 months ago

he sent a heartfelt text this morning in response to my love note… validating how committed we are, how content he is being with me, and the fact that it would take a hell of a lot to split us up at this point. So glad to be together :) 11 months ago

Things he appreciates about me – a list to review on the grey days when I feel cranky and wonder why he chooses to be with me:

1) I have the mental capacity to keep up with him
2) I’m smart, and stop to think things through logically
3) I’m creative
4) I’m pragmatic
5) I’m open to new ideas and new experiences
6) I listen to his point of view
7) I am compassionate and focus on seeing the best in everyone
8) I allow him to be himself and express himself naturally
9) I’m playful
10) I’m not afraid to be silly
11) I am easily amused and belly laugh contagiously
12) I’m quick to smile
13) I’m physically affectionate
14) I have the skills and desire to support him in becoming who he wants to be
15) I give incredibly good massage and actually release his trigger points
16) I’m a good cook
17) I keep my home clean and tidy to a standard he finds comfortable
18) I make requests rather than complain
19) I show up when I said I will, or at least give a courtesy call
20) I’m loyal
21) I act and speak with integrity
22) We enjoy each others company
23) We never run out of interesting things to talk about
24) We truly wish to understand each other and accept where the other is coming from
25) We’re good at brainstorming solutions and new approaches to solving conflict or other challanges
26) I strive for self awareness and choosing to live with conscious intention
27) I have a well developed sense of self
28) I’m excited on his behalf when he’s got something cool going on, whether it’s a new work opportunity, break through in awareness, or anything else he’s stoked about.
29) I see his potential and share a vision of all that he can be
30) I acknowledge and cherrish who he is today
31) I’m aware of his past, but let it rest as the compost for who he has become.
32) I make sure to express my appreciation for all the little ways in which he expresses he cares or goes out of his way to make my life better
33) I’m nice to snuggle with
34) I’m there for him when he needs me
35) I love my life and am autonomus, not dependant on him for anything in particular, but grateful for all he shares with me
36) I’m on board with how our relationship is flowing, and happy to continue to deepen our commitment
37) I’m somebody he’s envisioned as a potentially desirable life long mate and mother for his future children.
38) I don’t demand anything from him
39) I’m clear about my expectations and what I hope he’ll do to meet them
40) I give him a chance to explain himself when our opinions/approach/views differ.
41) I honor how hard he works, and all he offers
42) I honor my own needs and invest in taking care of myself so that I can be reliable in showing up for others and have the resources to meet my responsibilities and obligations consistantly
43) I’m continously becoming more business savvy, and make sound choices
44) He thrives amoungst my friends and in my grater community
45) I’m willing to compromise on some of the little things so that I can enjoy being with him
46) I respect his physiological needs 13 months ago

about being with M and the way he treats me.

1) He always creates time to answer my questions
2) He gets my point even if I don’t know what I’m trying to say
3) He takes responsibility for his own emotions and his own emotional state
4) He’s an incredibly quick learner
5) He’s strong enough to stand up to me, and isn’t afraid to call B.S.
6) He wants me to be happy
7) He is ready to listen
8) He always finds the inner strength to keep trying no matter how daunting the task
9) He won’t let anybody mistreat him or a loved one
10) He knows how to take joy in the moment even when life is otherwise grey
11) He can see both the forest and the trees
12) He’s exceptionally generous (example being willing to take the day off work to help my friend move)
13) He’s got a thirst for knowledge and understanding that couldn’t be quelched with a fire hydrant
14) He sees things through to their conclusion
15) He acknowledges his choices, accepts them, and moves on.
16) He welcomes my touch and treats it like a gift
17) He respects my work
18) He views me as confident and capable.
19) He’s creative and free with his endearments
20) He’s quick to give credit where it’s due
21) He’s not afraid to speak of emtoins, or anything, for that matter
22) He shares the gift of soul felt music
23) He strives to be punctual
24) He appreciates organization and structure
25) He thrives on planning
26) He’s able to kick back and go with the flow
27) He’s respectful of my choices and my enviroment. Example being avoiding contaminating my kitchen (including sponge, cutting board, etc) with “meat juice.”
28) He’s easy to laugh WITH
29) The sparkle and sweetness of soul that shines through his eyes
30) His williness to try new things
31) His curiousity
32) His glee over getting to dig into a new project
33) His tenacity
34) How fast his brain works!
35) The heartfelt thanks he expresses whenever I do anything at all “extra” for him that is unexpected or out of my way.
36) His humble pride
37) that he takes so little for granted
38) He values family and is super supportive of his younger brothers.
39) It’s easy to love him in ways that make him feel spoiled (breakie before work, etc.)
40) He likes to spoil me with unexpected gifts
41) He’s quick to jump on board with new ideas
42) He makes note of my musings and independantly makes my dreams materialize—example, buying bins and organizing the pantry! 15 months ago