identify the top ten stressors in my life and systematically eliminate them one by one

top ten sressors:
1. poor diet and eating habits
2. bad body condition and image
3. bad condition of my skin
4. problem with waking up
5. doing things for the last moment
6. my love relationship
7. career as a psychologist?
8. too much time spent on the internet
9. academin deadlines
10. communication with family members

I feel really good. Better than I’ve felt in a long time. This joy is unsurpassed. No drug or substance or person could induce this. This is something that is simply felt when you come to terms with yourself. It’s a good thing for sure!

The funny thing about this goal is that I think the hardest part about accomplishing it will be narrowing my problems down to just 10. That’s kind of a narrow scope to condense my issues down into. It seems that i have so many….well shoot, here it goes:

1. Drugs—for about the last year i have been resorting to the use of drugs to cope with my problems. I like the fact that when i am high off something i don’t think about anything bad at all. I don’t worry about what’s going to happen, or where I am going in life. It’s like for those extended moments of bliss and separation from reality, I can actually smile because i don’t think about anything. I feel too good that I don’t care. I don’t dwell on pain or the hurt I’ve been through. I just feel good. But as most know, the high is only temporary, and as i come down all my problems resurface too. As reality sets in i begin to think about why i first got high…and then i feel even more worthless and bad. So a big goal for me is to stop using drugs as a temporary veil to numb me from my pain. I need to just try and deal with my problems the safe and right way.

2. Drinking. —-Not that drinking itself isn’t a drug because alcohol is a substance that can be abused too…but i seriously have a drinking problem as well. I drink just about everyday. I need to consider that not only am i hurting my body, but I am just wasting my time. During all those times that I am getting loaded off alcohol I could be channeling my energy into more positive outlets.

3. My family. —I need to figure out how to deal with all my stress and anxioties involving my family without always running away from them.

4. My self image. —Over recent years i have come to see that my self esteem isn’t where it should be. For the longest time i believed the lies i was told. I believed i was stupid, ugly, and unworthy. I was used as a child and so therefore I find myself getting used often. But just because I was used as a child, that doesn’t mean I have to let the cycle of abuse continue. I need to stop viewing myself as an object and allowing others to treat my like an object. I have a mind. I have feeling and emotions. I have value and worth. I just need to recognize that and dispose of people who treat me otherwise.

5.God. —My relationship with God has been back and forth over the last few years. I need to stop being so “lukewarm” in my faith, and just stay close to God as much as I can. I need to stop being so hard on myself and forgive myself for the mistakes I make, because if God can forgive me then I must learn to do that myself. I need to turn to God more when I have problems instead of turning to things I have turned to in the past. God is the answer. God is love. And I need to dwell on those simple, yet profound truths.

...now that I think about it, I can’t really figure out anymore problems. This goal has proven to be easier than I assumed. I initially thought I would have the hardest time narrowing my problems down to 10—when I’ve figured out that they really boil down unto 5. That itself is something to be glad about. Wow, it’s funny how bad you think you have it… Now that I have taken my time to do this I feel much better. It makes me a little less pessimistic and more optimistic!
:)

except by my comments within, which either cut them down to size or created new goals for my 43 list to deal with them.

Now I’m off to re-order my goals.

9. Trying to live in the present, but too aware of what needs to be done, then procrastinating on it (i.e. living in the future) as opposed to do-it-now or because I’m having a “bad day.” So feel like I’m spinning wheels, or feeling slightly guilty for under-functioning. ^{—> see my get out of my head goal}

10. Being aware that my limitations are greater than I feel they ought to be, and perhaps ought to be in a practical sense until I’ve got my top 3 stressors (all with money) taken care of. Feeling “age” creep up on me not in a perjorative way, but in certain abilities perhaps slowed down as time speeds up. Fear of a successful/unsuccessful career. ^{—> stop caring about my limitations, respect them arbitrarily and don’t respect them when you must, and have a successful career because the fear equally applies to unsuccessful so GO BIG OR GO HOME. And you’ve been home, and it’s kinda gettin boring. See my Focus on my career… goal}

1. Not having enough money to do anything other than make ends meet. Worry about making ends meet by dipping into resources. —> ^{see my get a part time job goal}
2. Worry about not being able to sustain enough paying work by the time employment insurance runs out in order to keep at the level I’m at now —> ^{faith, grasshopper}
3. Worry about not making more money than that in the future, and what my financial status means to other people who could affect it in the here and now —> ^{What I have to do is have a plan B and make sure that I have taken care of making enough money to live while I execute plan A. Put a time limit on plan A – and if I’m not achieving enough success that my status is suffering and it’s affecting opportunities by the time limit, make my changes.}
4. Having a pool of dating candidates that overwhelmingly fit into the Wizard of Oz paradigm: no brain, no heart, or much too shy – and yet having to go out there and face ‘em down and best-foot-forward anyway -> ^{not much to do about this one, ya gotta do what ya gotta do}
5. Sucking at relationships with men so that when I do meet someone who suits me, I can’t build and maintain his interest with ease and he starts doling out the bullshit, putting me on the defensive, parasiting on my mental health resources, making me susceptible to being humourless because it’s exhausting to have to think about how you act all the time and how you might be repeating old harmful patterns or whether you’re not good at breaking them or it’s really just him -> ^{this is your bullshit, Miss, all you have to do is first keep a sense of humour and then be willing to communicate at any time about any thing. And lose him anyway if it’s not feeling good/worthwhile}
6. Not feeling on top of my game in any field, but in particular the fundraising for the rescue is one of them, especially wrt throwing a benefit concert -> ^{call a volunteer meeting and finally start banging down the details on the benefit concert}
7. The fat ugly woman with the overviolent tendencies and hypocritical “sportsmanship” stances at rollerderby whose presence discourages me from going to two-team practices because I loathe her -> ^{forget about her and just go. No one likes her anyway.}
8. Not having a gym to go to – a multi-purpose house of body worship where I can stretch, lift, punch, stride my way to less stress and greater accomplishment of my goals – and a less-sore back I might add! -> ^{clearly I just have to find a gym and find the money to pay for it, and before I do, enjoy “sample” days where you get to try it out for free}

1) My school’s disgusting amount of indoctrination and my classmate’s narrow-minded ness
2) Not getting homework done until 1:00 AM regardless of how much or little I have (as it turns out, I waste the perfect amount of time so that I finish around 1:00 routinely…)
3) Not getting my science fair project straightened out/not taking enough initiative to excel in science outside of school (if I intend to be a doctor [which I can’t imagine being anything else], then its time to start taking on some of the responsibility)
4) Not reading the huge pile of interesting/classical/informative books that I have accumulated.
5) Never being able to live more than 6 hours without the internet.

Solutions as I can figure them:
1) I’ve started making blog entries on facebook about everything that outrages me. People don’t always like what I say, but at least I’ve made a valiant effort. I still don’t consider this accomplished as few people actually read what I write, so I may turn it into an “underground newspaper” of sorts.
2) By cutting out my internet dependency, this one will hopefully fade away…if not, then its time to try another approach.
3) By finishing my homework earlier, I’ll get this one out of the way. Its a little short-term, I guess, but it has been bothering me disproportionately.
4) [see above]
5) Drastic times call for drastic measures. I’m going to disconnect the internet in my room entirely once I am done with this post and not re-connect it until at least Friday (I’ll do research and no more than 30 minutes of goofing off online on the family computer and I’ll still use word processing, etc. on this computer).

...as my life continues to go by, I am learing that a lot of my “top stressors” are self enduced. I am finding that a lot of the sum of events in my life are basically the sum of my actions and choices. And within that realization and admittion of responsiblity I begin to feel hope that things can change for the better as long as I change for the better. Then utilimately I gradually recieve relief from my stress and self inflicted pain.

my first stresser would have to be school, just school in general. i cant help but worry about it all the time. i feel just so over-whelmed when in reality i probably am not. i sometimes worry way to much.
but i have no idea ho to not be stressed about this. i still have like 7 more months of school, its only gonna get worse…and oh that stresses me out even more

break it down. analyze. understand how your stressors have a hold of u, see what’s really at the root of the matter.

deal with what has to b dealt with, and let all that truly does not matter slide.