Do what needs to be done for the next 7 weeks, and at the end of it hopefully have my mental health and at least some of my 43T friendships intact


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The Warrior Queen & The Jellied Eel 2 years ago

The Warrior Queen & The Jellied EelWell, I've just about got my mental health intact... about those friendships?!

How are you guys?
x 23 months ago

The Warrior Queen & The Jellied EelAck! Anyone feel like giving me a pep talk/arse kicking?

I seem to have hit some kind of study wall; all of a sudden my drive has parked itself and my focus is fuzzy to non-existent.

I’ve spent two weeks writing a report that should have taken a week, and it’s still not complete. I’m spending hour after hour like a rabbit caught in the glare of headlights, totally aware that unless I move I’m going to get crushed under the wheels of my exams, and yet still I’m paralysed.

What the hell is wrong with me? I’m within licking distance of the cherry on the icing on the (gluten free) cake of what I set out to achieve, and here I am digging my heels in and virtually demanding to taste the ashes of failure instead. Why do I always end up doing this to myself?

More to the point, what can I do right now to get my head in the right place for revision? I’m freaking out here and would be so grateful if anyone has any gumption raising/arse kicking/motivating/study inducing comments or suggestions…please!
x 2 years ago

The Warrior Queen & The Jellied EelThe decisive force with which the metal tray was slammed shut

was required to override the conflicting desire to rip it open and snatch back the contents.

“You have to let it go”, she had murmured to herself moments before; there was a metallic clang as the tray crashed home into the housing, followed by a dull thud as the contents were deposited into the collection chamber. She took a deep breath and turned away.

And with that, her dissertation was submitted.

She paused a moment to taste the emotions writhing inside her; the fruit of a year’s labours was gone, forever out of reach to her, beyond help, to be under the scrutiny of others as it was in that moment, flaws and all. There was the dry tartness of anxiety, edged with the acidity of fear; this was expected. She probed a little deeper and briefly detected pride, in all its fruity rich goodness, swirled through with the cinnamon tinged, honey sweetness of achievement; this pleased her, she had hoped it would be there. What surprised her was that the overall flavour was the bland starchiness of anticlimax.

Surely this should feel bigger, better? Taste like a banquet?

As she ran down the stairs two at a time she realised why; in itself it was a big accomplishment but it was a small part of a desire to achieve something even bigger. Between that ultimate goal of graduation and here, there remained just a few more hurdles.

One weekend of rest, one assignment to complete, five exams to pass…seven weeks in total until she’d done all she could and the fat lady would sing.

The truth was, she didn’t dare savour it yet, just in case it all slipped away at the last.

Jumping down from the final step of the long staircase, she thrust her chin up at a determined angle and vowed to keep pressing forward, putting all else but (in descending order of importance) study, eating and sleeping aside until after the final exam.

She just had to hope that at least some of her 43T friendships would stay intact during this period of excessive neglect.
x 2 years ago

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