that should be such an easy, nice thing to say.
but when i do, i get the medusa look and negative energy back, so i’ve stopped saying it.

i haven’t had my mom ask me about anything that matters to me for years. and if she does, there’s some string attached.

tired of it. 8 months ago

i can do this, i’ll figure it out. 8 months ago

Doing well with boundaries and saying no.
Had a bit of a rough patch for a few days but quickly got back to my senses. 8 months ago

some people will never understand how destructive and abusive they are. 9 months ago

I’ve had one week so far without anyone telling me what i should and shouldn’t do all the time and checking in with me constantly, stressing me out in my worst time.

It’s been nice. I stopped grinding my teeth as much, i applied to 20 something jobs at my own pace, i’m figuring out how to survive and its a little more peaceful inside my mind.

I’m still scared and sad and alone sometimes, but its better to feel it when i want to instead of constantly getting beat down with negativity and reminded of my own responsibilities. And having all of my decisions judged and dreams and spirit messed with and shattered.

I miss talking about normal things like… something educational or funny or interesting news or spiritual… things that would raise my spirit. But i guess that relationship will never exist again, so i’ll just move on. It’s obvious i’m not invited or wanted or important or worth the effort to consider my feelings. Basic ones and respect that any human being should have. Personal boundaries and respect of space.

I was sick of being judged. How fat i was all the time, how many times a week i work out, how many hours of sleep i did or didn’t get, if i paid my bills, etc. My blood tests say i’m healthy, i work out as often as i can, my bills are barely paid, i try my best and miraculously things come together sometimes and really it’s none of your business and my life. Are you helping me pay my bills? No. It was constant and circular and i freaked out.

I don’t have any assistance with food now, so i’ll try a food bank.

It’s also my birthday soon. Happy birthday i guess?

Constant nerve damage.

Getting food from a food pantry that truly cares and has compassion and gives it freely for the right reasons is how the world is supposed to work.

It’s sad strangers are nicer and more compassionate than family members sometimes.

I hope i can heal from all of this quickly and move on in the right direction already.

It would be nice to hear an i’m sorry for meddling with your life and stepping all over your personal everything despite your constant “no, please don’t”s but i know they’ll never ever see it that way. 9 months ago

i just spent a good portion of the last couple days getting verbally abused and emotionally abused by a couple different people.

i no longer feel guilty (“oh, look at how much i do for you”). just leave me alone. i’m thankful, still. but there are lines that need to be drawn and not crossed in other aspects.

i’m getting up and walking away this time.

i’m saying something this time.

and i did.

i don’t have the patience for this anymore, i’ve dealt with it and stuffed it my entire life. 10 months ago

i have to fight soooo hard all the time for my own boundaries.

every human being should be respected of their space, privacy and opinions. it shouldn’t be a constant battle.

no means no.

“Don’t forget that people hold you emotionally hostage by giving you a guilt trip.”

“Be Who You Are And Say What You Feel Because Those Who Mind Don’t Matter, And Those Who Matter Don’t Mind”

“Saying NO is one of the most difficult things for some people. Yet, by saying no, you are really saying YES to yourself.”

“saying no honers yourself first, which in turn honors others”

“personal boundaries are important”

“judging a person does not define who they are. it defines who you are.
it’s really ok for there to be times when you stop putting everyone else first and do what’s best for you”

“there comes a time in life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama & the people who create it & surround yourself with people who make you laugh so hard that you forget the bad and focus solely on the good. After all, life is too short to be anything but happy.” 10 months ago