get out of this funk

My grandmother is dying. I can’t imagine getting on with things.

Going on vacation. Will refuse to stay up all night with spreadsheets for the next 7 days! Sleep is going to seriously improve my mood.

Major funk this weekend.
Just when I think i’ve got things under control…. One bad thing leads to another and suddenly I’m in tears over traffic.

I haven’t actually done this – I meant to say “I give up”.

I want to really enjoy life, so why do i feel my hands are tied. What i need is a genie in a bottle, no effort from my side. What inspires people to get up and go? I just can’t find it…?

Total Fail!

Went out for an easy but longish hike on Saturday with the boyfriend and a few others. I haven’t felt that great in a long time.

It’s not my normal “time of the year” blues, it’s something different. I’m dealing with a major case of “why should I bother about anything” coupled with an unhelpful dose of “I’ll do it tomorrow when I’m in a better mood”.

There’s so much I want to do I ought to feel overwhelmed, yet I don’t. It’s very odd. I get the impression I’m waiting for something to happen, something out of my control.

Stop keeping things bottled up.

Long and scary talk with the boyfriend. He says he’ll be open to hearing my concerns if I bring them up in real time.

We didn’t bother to talk about the past too much. I didn’t want to ambush him with a list of complaints and I’m sure it just would have put him on the defensive.

i still haven’t taken my boyfriend on a date, but i will be this weekend for his birthday. :)