procrastinate less or better yet, not at all

I am just a procrastinator . . . plain and simple, it is just part of who I am. I either cannot or choose not to change, not sure entirely which one it is . . . but I am throwing in the towel on this one . . . and frankly I decided to do it a while ago, but again, I procrastinated.

Ring . . .Ring . . . Ring

“Hello, is this the Sheriff’s Office?”

””Yes. What can I do for you?”

””I’m calling to report ‘bout my neighbor Virgil Smith . . . He’s hidin’ marijuana inside his firewood! Don’t quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he’s hidin’ it there.”

””Thank you very much for the call, sir.”

The next day, the Sheriff’s Deputies descend on Virgil’s
house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept.
Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana.

They sneer at Virgil and leave the premises.

Shortly, the phone rings at Virgil’s house.

””Hey, Virgil! This here’s Floyd…. did the Sheriff come?”

””Yeah!”

””Did they chop your firewood?”

””Yep!”

””Happy Birthday, buddy!”

Rednecks know how to Git- er -Done

Dear Friends and Family:

I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on a Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed, “The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you’ve started.”

So I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn’t finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey’s, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos, the remainder of both Prozac and Valium prescriptions, the rest of the cheesecake, some saltines and a box of chocolates. You have no idea how good I feel. Please pass this on to those you feel are in need of inner peace.

Thank you, and have a productive day!

I procrastinate so much it’s ridiculous. Sometimes it just makes me look unorganized or plain old dumb, but sometimes it even costs me money when I procrastinate.

Just a bad bad habit!!!