For years my goal was to live life to the fullest, but what does that actually mean? These past few years and especially this year I’ve come up with my own definition: it’s living every day without regrets, doing the things you love, enjoying every second, doing good, letting go of drama, being open to new experiences, allowing yourself a few failures, being so busy you have no time for worries but also taking some days to rest and just being happy. 1 week ago

My goal is plain and simple! Be all that I can possibly be, do the things that scare me the most, and never let an opportunity pass me by. 4 weeks ago

This entry is in retrospect, June 2012

Some ppl might wonder why the hell this is even an entry under “live life to the fullest”. but for me, it’s about experiencing something i’ve never experienced before which drastically changed my life.

i had a couple of flings/gfs/relationships before, but the furthest i’ve ever gone was sex with one girl.

this time it was different. i went on a date with this girl i met from speed dating, and after dinner, we went to a bar together. i was pretty innocent, so i had no idea that going to a bar together meant getting lucky. anyhow, after a few drinks, we were both pretty tipsy, and i guess apparently i’m a really great kisser… so we went to my place, and… DAMN… she got naked in the time it took me to turn around and lock the door. anyways, the sex was great because everything just felt sooooo natural with her. i would elaborate a lot more, but i feel like that would make this entry rated XXX (even more than it already is). we had done 4 rounds. 1 in the night and 3 in the morning when we woke up. i was soooooo exhausted that week… yikes

and that’s how it evolved into a friends with benefits thing with this Puerto Rican girl. at first i was pretty opposed to this type of “relationship”... and i did a lot of things that probably made it uncomfortable for her… like i requested that she stop ripping off my condom in the middle of sex (that’s just unfair). and that we both get tested.

an aside on that – the VAST majority of you reading this will NOT EVER CONTRACT HIV AND GET AIDS, SO STOP WORRYING SO MUCH. i’ve actually looked into scientific/statistical evidence that were fair studies which documented everything. even if you have sex with a girl that has HIVs, you probably won’t get it unless you do unprotected anal every day and she gets a lot of blood on you. statistically, an asian male that was previously sex shy had like less than 1 in several million of a chance to get HIV. i have better odds of winning the lottery than getting AIDS

okay, back on the topic… so … this Puerto Rican girl was really amazing because of her maturity. she was 30, so the age helped. she just… understood what i was going through at my stage in my life and what-not. this type of relationship was the best, because she could be both a friend and a lover in bed. it solved all of my actual needs (except for emotional, which i could contain on my own). the difference between a FWB and a full relationship is that a full relationship may come with emotional baggage, depending on who you date. for guys, it’s very difficult to find a girl who is that emotionally stable/mature. (likewise, for girls, it’s very difficult to find a guy who is very physically/sexually mature). since i’m trying to achieve success in my career at the same time, i dont have a lot of time to devote to a relationship where i have to call the girl everyday, listen and help with her emotional problems…etc. this was the perfect thing for me, and it just made sense.

anyways, i loved this discovery of an experience, and i am no longer offended by FWB now having actually experienced and analyzed one. and the crazy wild sex was one HELL of an experience in living life to the fullest.

actually since this experience, i’ve done some even crazier things sexually, but if i muster up the courage, someday i might write about my experiences in those things. 5 months ago

This entry is in retrospect.

I know this sounds silly, but smoking a cigarette really meant a lot to me if you know my background. i grew up really nerdy and introverted, and i’ve never really done anything bad before i went to college. so this is quite a new thing for me

i’ve always heard so much about how cigarettes make you addicted, and once you smoke, you will always smoke. But i’ve finally found out for myself how false of a saying it really is. My roommate finally convinced me that it was safe to smoke a natural tobacco cigarette. Soon afterwards, i went on a trip to China, and my uncle offered me a real cigarette. i was kinda hesitant at first, but when in Rome….

anyways, so i took the cigarette, and IT HAD NO ADDICTION EFFECT ON ME AT ALL. i did drink a little bit of wine, but still…

ugh. makes me realize i’ve been missing out on so much

on a side note, i’ve smoked 420 before, and that’s prolly better 5 months ago

Sometimes there are not enough days in the week to do cram it all in. 9 months ago