Raise my son to be a good man

Checked his grades this week and he has all A’s and B’s (except PE because he missed a couple days from being sick). He is also on track with his e-learning and senior project. So far so good.

He chose to cut his hair recently because he was tired of his shaggy hair. He looks like a different kid completely. I think this may have been the confidence booster he needed.

We are in the home stretch now. He graduates in June. He’s finally starting to realize where he has fallen short through his high school career and is making amends to fix it. It’s hard to believe that he will be 18 soon and off on his own before I know it. He’s a good kid. I think I have done well.

Last week my SO offered my son money to mow the lawn, mostly because he didn’t want to do it. So my son and his friend mow the front lawn. They used 2 mowers and got it down quickly. They raked what was left over and they were done.

After they finished and my son was getting ready for a band thing he had to attend that night, my SO says you shouldn’t pay him for mowing because he did a bad job. I told him I was under the impression you were going to pay him. He said no, he didn’t do a good job so he will not pay him. I was really peaved at this point. I said back to him, if you had a specific way you wanted it done then you needed to instruct him how to do it. He didn’t really have much to say about that. So as we are leaving to the band thing, my SO is out there going over the lawn again with the mower. He didn’t bother to say anything to my son and left that one up to me.

My son was very upset when I told him my SO wasn’t going to pay him. I didn’t give him any money either, but I have told him by doing chores around the house he can earn money to spend on our trip for souvenirs.

We talked some more about this on our way home. My son has told me that he is done with my SO. Doesn’t want to have anything further to do with him, will not talk to him (or try to talk to him) anymore.

This puts me in a tough place. I’ve tried really hard to help them establish a relationship, but my SO is unwilling. I’ve asked him about and all I get is an I don’t know why I do this from him.

So frustrating. Not sure what to do, but my son doesn’t deserve this and I don’t either.

Sometimes I wonder how good I am actually doing actually doing at this.

We’ve had a couple arguments lately that have really bothered me. The one that bothered me the most when he was talking badly about his ex-girlfriend in front of his buddies. I called him on it after we dropped his friends off and told him that it was not appropriate to say the things he was saying. He didn’t understand why I was getting so upset because he was saying them directly to her. I just don’t get it.

I really hope that I can be a good role model for my son and encourage him to make good decisions in his life. This is my first child and I am a single mother so I don’t really know what to expect. His father will be very supportive and I trust him to be there for his son also. We are so excited to have the opportunity to watch our son grow and make choices and live his life. I’m excited but a little worried of my abilities. I hope to learn a lot of lessons as well by being a momma. wish me luck!

My son and his best friend thought it would be a smart (?!?) idea to push a shopping cart into a lake. I know I did my fair share of stupid things when I was a teen. Anyway, they did it in the middle of the day and one of the residents on the lake saw them do it. He came out of his house right after they did and told them if they did not retrieve the cart from the lake he was going to call the police. The man was nice enough to give them dog leash to retrieve the cart and they pulled it out and went back to his friend’s house and the man kept his word and didn’t call the police.

My son and his friend told me about this later when I picked them up to stay at our house. I asked my son if he learned a lesson and he said he did. I asked him if he plans on doing something stupid like that again and he said no way. As for his friend, he didn’t tell his mom because he was afraid of getting in major trouble and my expectation is that he is correct so I’m just going to stay out of it.

My son really has been pouring himself into it and has done a really great job. There are just a couple of performances left. I really am proud of him. I took him to dinner the other night just the 2 of us just so I could tell him that and you he really did appreciate it.

but I’m going to put it here anyway. He auditioned for the school musical in December and got a part. He has worked really hard over the last few months. In fact for the last month they have been working 3 hour rehearsals after school and on saturdays to get ready for the show. He decided to audition all on his own and I was so proud of him for doing it. He only has a small part but it has been really good for him and has sparked an acting bug in him. He is considering taking drama next year as one of his electives. I am really proud of him. I am looking forward to seeing to production. To show my support for him I have volunteered to help out where I am needed during the show (concessions, backstage, at the door). I really am proud of my boy and to what a wonderful young man he is developing into.

I like to think that I had a positive influence in the life choices my son made. I was careful to never lie to him, meaning never say something just because he might want to hear it but have that be less than candid, convince him that the right thing to do was the best thing to do. He was exposed to some extremely negative and stressful circumstances as a child but I tried very hard to have him see the difference between having bad things happen to one and being the person who did bad things. Thankfully, he made good choices as a teen and adult. What a wonderful thing to have a son who has saved many lives, positively influenced many people, and is an all-round great “kid” who’s in public safety and another human-services career. N.Kateus www.digitaldad.net

he has been selected to receive the 2 year scholarship. I know more in the next few weeks, but this is huge. He is so excited and so am I. He promises he will work hard at his studies and do whatever needs to be done to stay on track for graduation and is going to meet with his guidance counselor next week to discuss his classes. I am beaming with pride. What a relief. At least we have 2 years of college taken care of if all goes as planned. phew….