I have good days and bad days. It’s difficult because on good days, I realize and know that there’s a reason behind what happened that’s still being fixed and addressed, though mostly that part of it is taken care of. There’s some issues there, and they aren’t MY fault, but they affect my security in the relationship. We figured out what was happening, why it was happening, and I’ve helped him realize why it’s wrong, but we still have setbacks, and it’s those setbacks (and random “bad” days) that make it hard for me to move on.
I’ve forgiven, but not forgotten; I want to forget, though I don’t think that will ever happen. I want to be able to not get angry or hurt about it anymore, to absolve myself of negative feelings and be able to look at it as a difficult life lesson that we helped each other through. I want to have no more bad days. 10 months ago