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understand men (for at least one week)

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Recent activity

physalysStill lost

Okay, so, three guys were interested in me but I still could not bring myself to try anything with any of them. I simply drove them away one by one.
Other that, I have been seeing the one and only. This situation is getting more and more complicated. I know I keep saying that but it is true. 3 years ago


physalysWho would have thought ...

... things would get even more complicated?

I have to say: guys have been noticing more these past few weeks. It may be because I know wear the infamous white coat; it may be because I feel more confident than before, because I decided to open up.
But the one (and only) guy. Still complicated. Still friends. He said I was extraordinary. Several times. To several people (including me). WTH is wrong with him ?! 3 years ago


physalysMore and more complicated

This is seriously getting more and more complicated.
I talked with the guy’s best friend and we came to the conclusion that he definitely is an “emotional cripple”.
I need to end this situation. My cousin believes I should choose a date or an event to do that. Like: “if on Christmas Eve, there’s no difference, I’ll move on” or “if he ever treats me like this, I’ll move on”. So I need to find this milestone … 3 years ago


physalysBack to school

I’ve been worried about going to school and the consequences it would have on our relationship.
But we got to spend some time together today :)
I got a friend on the phone and she insisted that I needed to know if there would ever be something more between us. I’m getting mixed signals (friendship/flirting?) and need to move on if we’re just going to be friends. 3 years ago


physalysHonest talk

He asked me (again!) to have lunch with him. I’m surprised we still did not run out of things to say; and that I really tell him how I felt.
I didn’t pour my heart out: I just mentioned that I didn’t feel we were equals and that he cared too much about what others thought about him. It really was a good discussion.
I also told him about this site (and this goal). He said he sure was not the easiest guy to understand; but, I really feel like I’m getting to know him better.

Before leaving, he said he felt like he was always the one calling me. So I called him the next day but he was not available. I also called him because we had talked about going back to the hospital together. He didn’t pick up; rather, he hang up on me.

He actually phoned back later that afternoon; saying he could not answer because he was in a meeting. I wasn’t getting any signal anymore so the phone call cut short but I’m glad he explained himself.

So … yeah, all this to say: I’m getting there! 3 years ago


physalysPhone Calls

I’m not the kind of girl who waits two days before calling a guy, hoping he’ll miss her. If I want to see him, I call him. That’s it.

Unfortunately, it’s not that easy when you truly care about the other person. I’m trying to remain calm and we’ll see.
Besides, I need to call him (right now).

I’m the closest to achieving this goal.
We didn’t have a chance to say a proper goodbye at the hospital so he asked me to meet him when I was done. He wrote me as soon as I came back from my holidays. We spent an evening together a few days later. I called him a few days ago and he answered last night (saying I should call his other cell :p) 3 years ago


physalysCrazy

Tons of things happened in two weeks. I kinda dumped him (although we were not together). I know he likes me and just don’t understand why he could not get it together and break up with his girlfriend.

As for this other guy, he’s completely driving me crazy. Literraly. I can not figure out what he’s thinking and I’m getting nuts because of that. 3 years ago


physalysHe stood me up

That’s it.

:( 4 years ago


physalysHe called back

That’s it.

:) 4 years ago


physalysthey are jerks :(

Correction: they, most of the time, are jerks :(

He’s been so obvious about his feelings … I can’t figure out why he still hasn’t called.
And I sound ridiculous. 4 years ago


physalysUntitled

This is stupid but I read tons of things on the internet about understanding men.
There are still things I don’t get: e.g. why they, most of the time, are jerks :p 4 years ago


wildflowerloveWhere is this "bigger picture"??

Regarding my last post…oh the irony! Never mind.

I’ve just realised, while commenting on another 43er’s goal, that I can understand men to a certain extent if I’m not romantically involved with them. For example, I totally understand my dad – he’s incredibly insecure, but he masks it with bravado, arrogance and boosts his ego by sleeping around with lots of women (luckily he has a steady girlfriend now, who is lovely, so thankfully promiscuity isn’t an issue at the moment). My male friends aren’t hard to figure out either – there was only one difficult bloke and it turned out that he transfers his issues onto others and then blames them for it (not very nice, but hey). The guy I am in love with (I don’t call him my ex but that is effectively what he is for the benefit of anyone reading this) though, I cannot understand for the life of me. Seriously, I have no idea where to begin with him at all (I shall continue this point on goal 1). Basically, when I’m in love with a guy, there seem to be infinite possiblities to explain their behaviour but I can’t seem to decide on the definite answer, and then the actual answer turns out to be the one I thought it couldn’t possibly be (and usually the one I was hoping for). For example, one time (at band camp!! Only joking :P) he was away in Cardiff for a few days and didn’t text me that much or anything, so naturally I thought he didn’t care about me and wasn’t bothered as to how I was doing or whatever. Anyway, a week or so later, I was teasing him about how he never texts me and joking that I bet he didn’t think about me at all while he was away (which is what I believed), and it turned out that he’d had nightmares about me cheating on him when he was in Cardiff and he’d been worried sick. I think he just doesn’t show his emotion that much, but to be honest that’s not very helpful!

God, it’s ridiculously obvious with my guy friends, why can’t it be that way with guys I love too?? 4 years ago


physalysUntitled

It sure has not gotten better :( 4 years ago


physalysUntitled

I just do not get them. I have the same kind of problem as wildflowerlove.
I tried everything. Sometimes, I think it’s people these guys don’t really know me so they can’t possibly know what they’re missing. But I recently got rejected by a friend … ‘guess that was not it.
I feel so lonely and self-conscious right now. I know I have a lot to offer but …

Oops, I turned this entry into a “boo-hoo-nobody-loves-me” thing but anyway ^^ 4 years ago


wildflowerloveLyrics are strangely true sometimes

There’s been no breakup, I just thought this was relevant to how I generally feel at the moment:

“What am I gonna do when the best part of me is always you?

What am I supposed to say when I’m all choked up and you’re okay?

I’m falling to pieces, yeah

I’m falling to pieces…”

The thing is, you have to hear the pain and heartache in Danny O’Donoghue’s voice when he sings this song for it to truly make sense, but hey. 4 years ago


wildflowerlovei guess this should be under a men goal thing

do not understand men…why is my ex speaking to me to tell me about his wonderful new life with his wonderful new gf and their wonderful new found happiness? i really, really don’t care. if i did care, it would only be because i want the same things as him.

i don’t get guys. all my friends tell me that i’m beautiful and intelligent and whatever else, so hundreds of guys are after me and i shouldn’t have a low self-esteem. well, where are they then?!? i don’t understand…why do they keep insisting on all this when clearly i am unattractive for whatever reason? also i am apparently a crazy insecure young girl who needs professional help, which is personally why i think guys don’t go for me.

it just doesn’t make any sense. i’ve tried everything. i’ve tried being calm, being relaxed, flirting, wearing loads of makeup, wearing hardly any makeup at all, being talkative, being nice and kind and attentive and NOTHING WORKS!! none of the guys i like EVER EVER EVER like me back. ever. and i don’t even act desperate, i mean they’ve never guessed that i like them or anything.

and another thing, why is it always the ugly and boring guys that do fancy me, when such a miracle occurs once in a blue moon? i mean, is that all i’m worth? no intention of being arrogant here, beauty is in the eye of the beholder after all.

just…could someone please help me? 6 years ago


wildflowerloveFinally I have something to write about this goal!

I do NOT understand men. I really really don’t. Why do they sporadically text and when they’ve texted you back after 3 hours of suspense they fail to write more than about 5 words? Why is it that when you ask if it is ok to call them via text they don’t text you back? Why is it that when you’ve met their friends with them and have officially become their girlfriend, they think it is acceptable not to contact you properly for 5 days? Why do they not wish you good luck for important competitions that you’ve been talking about for the past 3 weeks? Why do they tell everyone but YOU that they had a fantastic time with you on fri night?

WHY??? 6 years ago


Flirt I just talked to an internet friend...

I met on Yahoo 360 back in January, before I was even on 43things. At that time she had just met a man through MySpace and had started dating him. I was kind of suspicious when she told me he didn’t have a home phone that he could call her on, as he only had it hooked up to the computer, and only had a “pay-as-you-go” cell phone, so they couldn’t talk on the phone very much, just e-mail and IM. I mentioned my suspicions to her, and she thought about them, but decided they were unwarranted and that she needed to trust someone.

Over three months later I just talked to her and GUESS WHAT? His WIFE IM’d her on Friday night and wanted to know how long my friend had been messing around (my words, not hers) with her husband! AS you can imagine, she is DEVASTATED!!! AND afraid to trust again!!! 7 years ago


Flirt I am too confused...

to work on this goal any longer!!! 7 years ago


Flirt Untitled

I AM SO CONFUSED!!!!!!!!

thanks for listening…I just needed to vent!7 years ago


Mrs. EgbertSo I was at a conference yesterday...

when I spoke up and mentioned that I started my career in my organisation 16yrs ago. A handsome young man from out of town took note and as I was passing by him to leave the room he stopped me and said I look nowhere near old enough to have 16yrs work experience. He was seated, so I laid my hand on his shoulder, gave a big grin and said “Why, that’s a compliment, isn’t it? Thanks!” and gave him a gentle squeeze. A little later we struck up a conversation about the conference topics, then suddenly out of the blue, he asked me if I was married. Today I returned to the conference and one of his buddies asked for my business card and told me the guys were hoping that I would have shown them around my city last night after the conference. Now, I don’t know if I was too forward with him or if he and his buddies were imagining that I was a “good-time girl..” When I stopped to talk to two of his friends they both put their arms around me…I never met these people before…Because these guys are part of my organisation, I decided to immediately tone it down…that’s all I need now is a reputation as a good-time girl. All this attention from a little shoulder squeeze! 7 years ago


Mrs. EgbertThe way I see it...

You know, most of my romantic relationships for the past six years have not lasted more than four months. So I was thinking…instead of setting myself up for failure by trying to establish a long-term relationship, why don’t I do like the guys I meet of late and give my next romantic relationships a 3-month expiry date??!! That way I’m almost guarenteed success!! Heh heh. I’m not kidding. 7 years ago


ladybirdIt's easy!

Once you deeply love one, and have Gray’s books… but I also like Dr.Phill… :)
It is important to understand men’s role – he is the one that want to make you happy, not the other way around. Your role is to be happy with him and to create a home. And to help him to make you happy. If he feels that he can’t make you happy, he is no longer attracted to you. It is that simple. 7 years ago


VulneratumHow to understand a man

all you need to understand a man is a couple of sperm producing testis (that work pretty good) and you need to have more Testosterone than Estrogen THAT IS THE KEY!... Testosterone!

then you will be one with the male counterpart.

or do what I did to understand women. the book “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex” by John Gray

I even understood myself better. 7 years ago


Mrs. EgbertFlirting is fundamental... ;-)

recent email sign-offs
He: How is my beautiful new friend doing?
Me: Fine. How is my sexy-kisser new friend doing?

Is that toooooo flirtatious? or just plain corny???!!! Ha ha ha ha.. 7 years ago


cathibethPossible...

possibly! Probable, not likely…

What does make our counterparts tick? Why the obsession with the remote and the recliner? Why do they deepen their voice and suck the third tire in when trying to impress?

Hmmm… those are some tough, difficult questions! 7 years ago


Mrs. EgbertI saw a comedian today who explained what men really want..

..she said all they want is for us women to SHUT UP! When we talk all that’s going on in their mind is “bla, bla, bla, sex, bla, bla, bla, bla, sex, bla, bla” then they think “if only she’d stop talking, maybe we can have sex.”

Kind of cynical…but everyone in the audience laughed. 7 years ago


Squirrel HunterUmmm...yeah...

I give up!! 7 years ago


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