How I did it: 2 months of complete "detox" (no contact, no fantasizing) + finding the way back to myself by realizing old dreams and goals and defining new ones + getting rid of poisoning relationships. Read how I did it… 1 month ago
He will try to suffocate you with kindness. He will recite every lie in the book. He will tell you he’ll be different. He has changed. I love you. I was only playing when I said so and so evilness to you. I didn’t mean it. Let’s get counseling. I love you. I promise to change. I’ll get better. Let’s get better. I wanted to love you the rest of my days.
The web will be sticky-sweet. You might get a leg or arm caught. But set yourself free. Keep your composure. You are better than this. You are worth more than a world of false promises…and broken hearts. 1 month ago
Still a long way to go. After a 3 day long crisis one week ago, I feel now more and more stable. There are now things to wait for in my life, and that helps a lot. 2 months ago
It seems to work. No more crying, no more pain in the stomach when I open my mailbox. No nostalgy, no fantasising. But still no interest in other people, bad taste in the mouth, a bit depressed.
I force myself to go and socialize + walk a lot + get my hair in order.
I feel freedom is close. 2 months ago
I discovered the similitude of my state and drog addiction.
Two days ago, I wrote him not to contact me anymore.
By doing that, I killed all hopes to meet him or to get together with him again.
It was like cutting off my own hand.
Today, it’s much better.
I think, it’s now, that I can start the real “detoxication”. 2 months ago
Yesterday, the N.1 rock band of my home country came to perform in a small culture house in my “job country”, giving a wonderful concert in front of some 200 fans, instead of the usual 2000. Before the concert, a nice compatriot came next to me and initiated a conversation. It made me feel… hmm… relieved. I thought, near 40, men won’t be interested in me or attracted to me any more. As it was his first time in L, today, I showed him the main tourist attractions in the city center. He was delighted (then went back home, hundred kilometers away) At least, not all my 60 000 daily thoughs turned around my ex, it opened some new perspectives. 2 months ago
This evening, I did my regular walk in the city center and listened to my old old favorite songs on my mp3 player. And of course, I was thinking of him, like almost every moment of the last four months.
With the music, old memories came back from university years, parties, friendships, pure energy, confidence, creativity of the young myself.
I felt cool.
And I told him in myself: my problem with you, was that I didn’t feel myself a cool person in your company. I felt clumsy, weak. You tried to paternalize, control, all your gifts you gave me were only about you, your ego, not about me or us. I could not be myself with you, or if I was, it wasn’t appreciated. I could not feel that I take part of our relationship, I had to ware a mask, which became very heavy at the end.
This inner conversation gave me relief. It’s been for an hour now, and since, I feel that I got rid of the pain.
I pray to be able to keep this state of mind. I’ve already lost too much energy for something that doesn’t worth so much. 3 months ago
I don’t really think about him anymore. Although when I looked at his facebook today after a long time, I did have a little pinch in my heart and unease.. but I musn’t forget it’s only because I’m sorry for myself for the times I used to have with him. He did not love me. No where near as I loved him.. I ask myself why, why did I love him so much? He’s a douche. So what if he had a lot of friends? I guess that’s one of the reasons I loved him. Because he had cool friends. Other than that… meh, come on. It sounds that I was superficial. Well I still am, I care about having people in my life a lot. But now I’m in a better place, with a better boyfriend, a true man who acutally loves me for me. FUCK YEAH. 4 months ago
sometime we are responsible for our tears..but how to overcome it…y heart ask about him again and again….how to develop willpower to command mind and heart to stop and let him live smwhere and let me live to in my life… 5 months ago
some guys are hard to forget. shit. i guess it is a good thing for now that distance stands its long ground. 5 months ago
sometimes the insides don’t match the outsides…and the bad times outweigh the good…i won’t be a martyr my whole life. 7 months ago
How I did it: I took a 2 months holiday, where I knew it was impossible to bump into him. That does not mean I avoided him though, as we did talk to each other.
Now, I did not stop thinking about him all this time, even during those times when i found myself surrounded by 100s of people (no exaggeration here).. I just learnt to live with that and saw that it was possible to think of him, and still do everything else i wanted to do in life. It's like learning to live with the voices inside your head (see TED.com) ... once you accept his presence inside your memory & heart, and not pine for more, you can really move on. Read how I did it… 9 months ago
I did not think it was possible to get over, to forget, my first love. I pined away after him in my head and my heart for five years. And there was no need to. There was no need to keep him there because that blinded me from seeing the beauty of others. The possibility of others who could care about me. I never thought anyone would love me the way he did, that I would love anyone the way I loved him. But it is possible. Someone is there for you, believe that. Someone will connect with you. I just had to see it to believe it. And I regret holding onto that pain in my heart, not believing that there would be anyone else. I am so glad that I took the chance to get to know someone who erased the pain of five years, just with his caring for me and me caring about him. I just could not believe it. 10 months ago
gonna take some more time… but… so much better already. phew! 14 months ago
we’ve been together for 8 months .. i used to think that i’ve finally found the one that will never leave me and he ended up just like the rest and maybe even worse.. now he forgot me and its been two months if not more since we’ve last talked and 3 months since we broke up.. i miss him so much and i think about him all the time.. it feels like forever i swear and i know he’s not coming back i can’t talk to anyone about it because they will never understand how i’m feeling.. i don’t want to feel like this forever i want to forget him without those tears in my eyes .. :’) 19 months ago
I am not going to deny it anymore. Push it out anymore. Suppress it anymore. No I am not over it yet even though it has been four years. I let it destroy me. But after a talk with my family last night, I think I could be on my way to doing better. They suggested that I write down everything that still hurts and why. 2 years ago
I got a mail from D this morning. He is still traveling a lot and having a blast in life. He told me he has no plan coming back to Asia in the near future but I don’t feel bad anymore. The mail made my day and I’m truly happy for him. Strange that you used to want someone so much but find yourself don’t need them anymore.
But he is and will always be my rock star <3 2 years ago