Well I officially ruined things, so I might as well forget him, but I can’t. I think that he’s going to end up filing for a restraining order before I turn 30. I want Michael sooo bad, but I am a little uncertain about his intentions. I am so sad I spoke to him that way. If I ever get famous, it will be because of Turtle. I swear. 3 months ago

we’ve been together for 8 months .. i used to think that i’ve finally found the one that will never leave me and he ended up just like the rest and maybe even worse.. now he forgot me and its been two months if not more since we’ve last talked and 3 months since we broke up.. i miss him so much and i think about him all the time.. it feels like forever i swear and i know he’s not coming back i can’t talk to anyone about it because they will never understand how i’m feeling.. i don’t want to feel like this forever i want to forget him without those tears in my eyes .. :’) 5 months ago

I have to get ready for work but I really miss Michael. I bet he has long gone forgotten about me by now. It really sucks. Will talk more after work 6 months ago

I am not going to deny it anymore. Push it out anymore. Suppress it anymore. No I am not over it yet even though it has been four years. I let it destroy me. But after a talk with my family last night, I think I could be on way to doing better. They suggested that I write down everything that still hurts and why. 10 months ago

I got a mail from D this morning. He is still traveling a lot and having a blast in life. He told me he has no plan coming back to Asia in the near future but I don’t feel bad anymore. The mail made my day and I’m truly happy for him. Strange that you used to want someone so much but find yourself don’t need them anymore.

But he is and will always be my rock star <3 10 months ago

By the time I finish writing this I will have Lready forgotten about him but I just feel like I need to get it out. Completely lied, sort of, to a manfriend of mine so I could cOmpletely rid him of my life. Not exactly the healthiest move on my part but probably the safest. By lying I was able to givE him absolutely no hope in the situation and garanteed that if we were to meet again I would come off as shady and a liar about my past and he wouldn’t trust me to be anything wih me. Sounds pretty painful on both sides but trust me. Something had to take Place because my feelings were running deep for this man besides his and my seemingly hopeless situation. Let him down easy by explaining it was my fault but if he were to find out the truth in he future there would still be no hope cause I came off as a big liar. Just the way I like it. Burning bridges before they are even built. It makes me feel hopeless.

I am very happy I can forget about him for good but sometimes I wish I didn’t have to. It’s all for good reason with good intentions and I know his intentions weren’t so there. That is reason enough. 13 months ago

Forget his name, forget his face
Forget his kiss, his warm embrace
Forget the love that you once knew
Remember he has someone new
Forget him as they play your song
Remember how you cried all night long
Forget how close you two once were
Remember he has chosen her
Forget you memorized his walk
Forget the way he used to talk
Forget the things he used to say
Remember he has gone away
Forget his laugh, forget his grin
Forget the dimples on his chin
Forget the way he held you tight
Remember he’s with her tonight
Forget the time that went so fast
Forget the love that moved, it’s past
Forget he said he’d leave you never
Remember that he’s gone forever

Please…I need to forget him … 15 months ago

I recently met someone really amazing. He’s very nice to me and I feel quite comfortable being with him. He’s the opposite of my ex but we have a lot in common. Unlike my ex, he appreciated every little things I did for him. We’re taking it very slowly so far. I think I’ll be happy to be with him but the problem is I’m not sure if I’m ready for it. I still think of my ex from time to time and what worse, I secretly do comparisons between them.

I’m not sure if I should give it a shot. I don’t want to pass up what I think is a potentially amazing relationship, but at the same time the last thing I want to do is rush into another relationship and wind up with it being a “rebound” because I am not ready. 15 months ago

“The air around me still feels like a cage
And love is just a camaflouge for what resembles rage again”

So it’s been one month and five days since he’s gone. I have been going on dates and meeting new people. But nothing, thus far, has been worth my while. I still miss him. He didn’t reply my last email, which is not surprising at all. I feel sad, stupid and angry. I wanna scream. How could he treats me like this. I wish I hadn’t spent time on him. I wish I hadn’t believed everything he said. I hate that he just walked away like this. I hate that he led me on and made me believe we’d stay together for a long time. I hate that I was so stupid to believe that I was special to him. I hate that I gave in so much to him. I hate that I still cry for him. I hate that I miss him so much and he doesnt’t even care about me.

I really don’t understand. He lied to me, made a fool of me, took everything from me, ignored me, betrayed me… Yet he is the one who gets to be happy and move on.. How is that fair? How did I deserve that? I try to accept that, to get that. But I don’t. I just don’t…

I guess I need to heal first and love myself again.. if I ever did. Only then will I be able to love again. 16 months ago

i want to forget it 16 months ago

Got his mail a few days ago and he said he was arrested in Thailand for smoking weeds. I was shocked. I know he smokes weeds but I can’t believe he could get himself caught in a southasian country. My friend said he’s an idiot. I think he just didn’t give a shit about the local lows. I was worried but happy to hear from him again.
Yesterday he wrote me a letter again saying he couldn’t leave the island until the end of February and he’s not coming back to China until September. I guess this means we’re officially over. Although I already knew this was gonna happen, it still made me feel sad. Deep in my heart I still had hopes for him. I hoped that he would come back. Now it’s all over. He didn’t even bother to pretend that he would feel bad not seeing me anymore. I guess he never really cared about me or this relationship. I feel hurt and angry. I was so stupid to have belived everything he said. I wonder what I did to deserve being treated this way. He’s such an assole. I probably should be grateful that I got out of this relationship now. He’s doing me a favor by leaving me. But I really hate being left like this. 16 months ago

It’s been more than one week since he’s gone. I still miss him but I’m starting to get used to not having him around. Life still goes on. I’m still breathing. 17 months ago

I just sent him a mail. I wanna tell him that I miss him and I really need a confirmation about whether it’s over or not. Right now I’m still hoping he will be back coz he told me he would come back in February when he left. I can’t let go this relationship when I still have hopes. 17 months ago

Thought of him when I heard the song Iris. I remember the first time we met he sang this song to me. I was so clumsy and so shy while he was so cool and so gorgeous. It’s strange that I didn’t know I could miss him so much until he left. I wanted to write him a letter to tell him how much I miss him and how it hurts when he’s not here anymore. I guess I will write him a letter in a few days. I have to let him know how I feel. 17 months ago

Went out with friends today. Didn’t think of him when I was with them. But I burst into tears when I passed by his place on my way home alone. I swear I could see him there, smiling to me as if he had never left. I almost heard him calling me.. but I knew it was just my mind lying to me. I had to remind myself over and over again that he’s not here anymore. He’s not coming back. 17 months ago

Trying not to think of him but it doesn’t seem possible right now. Every minute, every second I find myself thinking of him and the memories we shared together. To be honest I was never in love with him but I loved to be with him. He’s so perfect to me even though he never really cared about me. I feel so in pain. I wonder he is doing right now. Partying for sure. I probably never cross his mind. I feel stupid. Yet I can’t stop missing him. 17 months ago

My eyes hurt today from last nights crying. I feel so empty. Even seeing my phone makes me sad. He used to call me or text me every day so now whenver my phone rings I think of him. I’m so used to being around him. Now I have to get used to this new circumstance. But it’s like in my mind i know he is gone but my heart keeps making plans for the next time I see him. I still hope I will see him again. It hurts so much. 17 months ago

He’s gone today. He said he would come back but I don’t know. There’re so many uncertainties and I know we aren’t really meant for each other. I cried after he left for the airport. I miss him so much. It’s like everything all reminds me of him. When I close my eyes, all I can see is his smile and the day we spent together. I can still feel his warmth and his smell. I’m still expecting his texts/calls but I know it’s just not gonna happen now that he’s not in this country anymore.. I feel so lost. I don’t think I will ever forget him… but I know he will move on and so should I. 17 months ago