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leanderleavesOne big step, hopefully

This evening, I did my regular walk in the city center and listened to my old old favorite songs on my mp3 player. And of course, I was thinking of him, like almost every moment of the last four months.
With the music, old memories came back from university years, parties, friendships, pure energy, confidence, creativity of the young myself.
I felt cool.

And I told him in myself: my problem with you, was that I didn’t feel myself a cool person in your company. I felt clumsy, weak. You tried to paternalize, control, all your gifts you gave me were only about you, your ego, not about me or us. I could not be myself with you, or if I was, it wasn’t appreciated. I could not feel that I take part of our relationship, I had to ware a mask, which became very heavy at the end.

This inner conversation gave me relief. It’s been for an hour now, and since, I feel that I got rid of the pain.

I pray to be able to keep this state of mind. I’ve already lost too much energy for something that doesn’t worth so much. 4 days ago


leanderleaves 1 week ago


Wamsmn 1 month ago


AyaWell...

I don’t really think about him anymore. Although when I looked at his facebook today after a long time, I did have a little pinch in my heart and unease.. but I musn’t forget it’s only because I’m sorry for myself for the times I used to have with him. He did not love me. No where near as I loved him.. I ask myself why, why did I love him so much? He’s a douche. So what if he had a lot of friends? I guess that’s one of the reasons I loved him. Because he had cool friends. Other than that… meh, come on. It sounds that I was superficial. Well I still am, I care about having people in my life a lot. But now I’m in a better place, with a better boyfriend, a true man who acutally loves me for me. FUCK YEAH. 1 month ago


Aya 12 months ago


agri2014its hurts...

sometime we are responsible for our tears..but how to overcome it…y heart ask about him again and again….how to develop willpower to command mind and heart to stop and let him live smwhere and let me live to in my life… 2 months ago


agri2014 2 months ago


cupcakespecial 5 months ago


xmyheartuh oh.

some guys are hard to forget. shit. i guess it is a good thing for now that distance stands its long ground. 2 months ago


xmyheartthen again....

sometimes the insides don’t match the outsides…and the bad times outweigh the good…i won’t be a martyr my whole life. 4 months ago


xmyheart 4 months ago


Abeir89

Abeir89 4 years ago


lonnie2013 6 months ago


julianbaker09 3 years ago


julianbaker09It is possible

I did not think it was possible to get over, to forget, my first love. I pined away after him in my head and my heart for five years. And there was no need to. There was no need to keep him there because that blinded me from seeing the beauty of others. The possibility of others who could care about me. I never thought anyone would love me the way he did, that I would love anyone the way I loved him. But it is possible. Someone is there for you, believe that. Someone will connect with you. I just had to see it to believe it. And I regret holding onto that pain in my heart, not believing that there would be anyone else. I am so glad that I took the chance to get to know someone who erased the pain of five years, just with his caring for me and me caring about him. I just could not believe it. 7 months ago


Ayahah

gonna take some more time… but… so much better already. phew! 11 months ago


MaryaPetrovaI cant forget him

we’ve been together for 8 months .. i used to think that i’ve finally found the one that will never leave me and he ended up just like the rest and maybe even worse.. now he forgot me and its been two months if not more since we’ve last talked and 3 months since we broke up.. i miss him so much and i think about him all the time.. it feels like forever i swear and i know he’s not coming back i can’t talk to anyone about it because they will never understand how i’m feeling.. i don’t want to feel like this forever i want to forget him without those tears in my eyes .. :’) 16 months ago


MaryaPetrova 16 months ago


theemilyjones 21 months ago


julianbaker09not going to deny

I am not going to deny it anymore. Push it out anymore. Suppress it anymore. No I am not over it yet even though it has been four years. I let it destroy me. But after a talk with my family last night, I think I could be on my way to doing better. They suggested that I write down everything that still hurts and why. 21 months ago


applepieUntitled

I got a mail from D this morning. He is still traveling a lot and having a blast in life. He told me he has no plan coming back to Asia in the near future but I don’t feel bad anymore. The mail made my day and I’m truly happy for him. Strange that you used to want someone so much but find yourself don’t need them anymore.

But he is and will always be my rock star <3 21 months ago


user26005 22 months ago


Christelle Dumont 5 years ago


applepie

applepie 2 years ago


waltersdj 2 years ago


300cherryblossomsIt hurts to see him...

Forget his name, forget his face
Forget his kiss, his warm embrace
Forget the love that you once knew
Remember he has someone new
Forget him as they play your song
Remember how you cried all night long
Forget how close you two once were
Remember he has chosen her
Forget you memorized his walk
Forget the way he used to talk
Forget the things he used to say
Remember he has gone away
Forget his laugh, forget his grin
Forget the dimples on his chin
Forget the way he held you tight
Remember he’s with her tonight
Forget the time that went so fast
Forget the love that moved, it’s past
Forget he said he’d leave you never
Remember that he’s gone forever

Please…I need to forget him … 2 years ago


300cherryblossoms 2 years ago


applepieDoubts...

I recently met someone really amazing. He’s very nice to me and I feel quite comfortable being with him. He’s the opposite of my ex but we have a lot in common. Unlike my ex, he appreciated every little things I did for him. We’re taking it very slowly so far. I think I’ll be happy to be with him but the problem is I’m not sure if I’m ready for it. I still think of my ex from time to time and what worse, I secretly do comparisons between them.

I’m not sure if I should give it a shot. I don’t want to pass up what I think is a potentially amazing relationship, but at the same time the last thing I want to do is rush into another relationship and wind up with it being a “rebound” because I am not ready. 2 years ago


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