I suppose this will be an update from my last entry.
When last I wrote, my boyfriend of 3 months had broken up with me just when I was beginning to feel closer to him and to start to trust him with my feelings. I was pretty crushed and shocked at the break up.
Well, after a few weeks we talked and decided to get back together because we cared about each other. I thought that everything was going great. In many ways, I felt closer to him than any other guy that I had ever dated before. We would spend the day doing everything together. Everyday events seemed so special when I was with him. When we walked down the street together and he was holding my hand, I felt so warm and safe. And when we weren’t together, I would look forward to when I would see him next and could see him smile at me. In short, I was starting to fall in love with him.
For all the good in our relationship, we had problems too. Mostly, we had difficulty communicating. For some reason, both of us had difficulty telling the other exactly how we felt or what we wanted and needed from the relationship. I know that much of the blame in this area belongs to me. However, I thought that things were getting better and that our relationship was getting stronger.
Unfortunately, he thought otherwise. Today he broke up with me again. He thinks that there are too many difficulties for our relationship to overcome. I tried to say that I thought that we could work on things. I even struggled to tell him how I felt about him, but I was so overwhelmed. The thing that hurt me the most was when he said that he stopped loving me a long time ago, even though he still says that he cares for me.
I don’t know. All of my emotions are churning deep inside of me. I have to sort out how I feel, but right now I just wish that I could stop crying.
