blog weekly

Yay! I’m blogging. And I’m getting more comments and readers. So happy to be keep on keepin’ on!

So I was doing really good with this goal from January 2009 up until the middle of April. I was pretty much blogging every week. Then I got really depressed around the middle of April and did not have the energy to blog. Now I’m doing something about the depression and I feel like I’m getting better so I can get back on the wagon again with this blogging goal. I have a lot to blog about right now in terms of fitness, which is what I like most to blog about. I think I’ll blog now about the super short sprint tri I have this weekend. I’m excited.

I’ve gotten to the point where on average I’m posting at least once a week often more. I have a few loyal mutual LJ friends who upon my request are very quick to send me LJ nudges should I go over a week without posting and its been a few weeks since I’ve gotten one of those.

I’m fortunate to have a neonatal nurse as a sister-in-law. (Actually, that’s a bonus, she’s a great sil point blank.) I finally got a chance to chat with her about N and our stay in the hospital. While we’re in agreement that the doctors really need to improve their communication with parents, and that the ER seems to lack concern for actually spreading disease, she was warmly positive about the rate of concern with which N’s infection was approached by the pediatricians, and the course of treatment given by all the doctors.

So, if any further retraction of my grumpiness is necessary, I humbly apologize.

I also appreciate that the pediatrician who released us from the hospital has called both days since then to check on N.

And it looks like she’s developing a nice wholesome belly button after all. I was worrying she’d have nothing to pierce.

I was planning to write an entry about all the things I couldn’t do during pregnancy that I now can do, and the ones I’m still looking forward to. An appreciative piece about the body that’s not quite back in working order yet.

But I just spent the past two nights in the pediatric ward at the Yale New Haven Hospital. And now I’ve got other considerations balancing in my mind.

N’s umbilical cord fell off on Thursday morning, right before her 10 to 14 day check up. The belly button had worried one of the pediatrician’s her first week, and I had called in when it seemed to suddenly turn red in a few hours, but I’d been reassured that it looked fine on her previous (Monday) visit. However, Thursday’s pediatrician was very concerned and sent her for tests and consultations.

What followed was 5 hours in the ER. This is a horrible place- despite having a private room, I got nervous about their handwashing, and there was construction, literally just on the other side of the wall we were leaning against. I spent about 2 hours without seeing any of the doctors, and finally, desperate to pee, and not able to just leave the baby (hooked up to an IV), I had to prop open the door and flag down someone to find one of the consulting doctors. Who informed me that they were indeed going to admit her, and thus, me.

Now I don’t want to seem too critical. The doctors seem very conscientious and err on the side of caution. In the pediatric ward, all the staff was impeccable with their handwashing, gowning, gloving. The nurses were really kind, helpful, and attentive to my concerns and, more importantly, to the baby.

But the communication in the hospital was lousy. I might not have been real happy to hear what they were going to say (thus discouraging them from telling me), but they kept forgetting and neglecting to tell me what was expected of me and what was going on in their consultations. Example: I was admitted Thursday in the early evening. Around 8 pm on Friday, one of the nurses informed me that I wasn’t supposed to take the baby out of the room (we’d brought her onto the patio play area so Q could run around), and that I should be wearing a gown while in the room. (Naively I’d assumed that the gowns were to protect N, not to contain the germs to her.)

I found myself being increasingly frustrated by the conversations I had with the doctors. It was like being told, ‘Well, we’ll have to see what your father thinks’ in a cyclical pattern. Each time I was told ‘well, if her belly button looks good, we’ll let you take her home’ or ‘if her ultrasound is clear, you can take her home’ it was to meet with another obstacle, which, despite passing, all culminated in ‘you can’t take her home’. The very nice (I’m sure) chief resident seemed to want me to agree with the treatment, which I found ridiculous. I wasn’t consulted, it wasn’t discussed with me, I was simply told she had to stay. I’m not going to say I think that’s fine when I don’t. I can’t change it, and I’m not happy about it. (This same unfortunate resident had to break the news to me that the blood sample they took at 2:30 am had to be repeated because it had clotted.)

Ultimately, I’m a tired new mother, frustrated and unconvinced that anything was so wrong with my baby that she needed to be hospitalized. Their priority is the health of my baby, and I appreciate that. But leaving me hanging, wondering what was going on, and misleading me when I did get to talk to individual doctors was a serious disservice that left me more fragile and hostile than before.

J and I are grateful our family is all home and healthy again. I’m not even really sure how to resume my normal life- but I’ve realized that if some laundry isn’t done tomorrow, there will be dire consequences…

This goal has actually approached some reasonable attempt at achievement. Now that I can upload my 43t entries from here, I’m taking the blog entries a little less seriously, which means I can post more regularly. And since I’m trying to use the blog to keep my hand in writing something during pregnancy and early babydom, this is really useful.

Thanks to the bots for fixing the snags!

So the ‘post to your blog’ button works! Yay 43t! (It’s the post from ‘teach my son manners as soon as I learn some’.)

I’m thrilled.

Some of the last bit of this blog repeats a 43t post, but my parents don’t read my 43t posts. (For which I’m grateful.)

Definitely monthly, not weekly. Still, I have dreams. Maybe discipline will follow.

I seem to be more of a ‘blog monthly’ kind of person. But I’m updated.