Always let my inner child share my day

Since I have embraced him again, I have come to really like the child that I tried to destroy. I often fantasise about how I could have been part of him – how I could have seen the world through his eyes, how I could have felt the world like he felt. I’m so sorry that we parted company so long ago. But now I am asking for his help. I’m asking him to help me see what I am as an adult, because I don’t feel that I am one. I certainly don’t feel that I have grown up properly. I jumped here – I didn’t grow into it – and there are bits missing. I feel so young now – I feel I’ve hardly started – yet I do have to come to terms with the fact that I am 33 years old. I can’t go through many of the stages that I missed. I’m just going to have to accept that many things have passed me by, without feeling all those holes I have inside too much. I just have to find other ways of filling them up, because I do feel where I am empty.

Lost most of my childhood. Now I’m going to make up that time. I want to jump in puddles & make things out of plasticine & whisper in the ears of teddy bears. Allow myself to be a sponge again & look at everything with wonder.