Ok… soz my point of view is this… there are sooo many kids out there, who already have needs… and somehow, I don’t see the need to bring any more into this mess of a world. Maybe some people think that is queer, but its a choice… I think there are other things to do in life than have children… 4 years ago
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WASHINGTON, March 24, 2008—For middle-income families with a child born last year, the costs of providing food, shelter, clothing and other necessities will total $204,060 by the 18th birthday, according to an annual study by the U.S. Department of Agriculture.
Yikes, and that doesn’t include college! But, as others have already said, this decision won’t be made by adding up numbers and tallying the pros and cons… there are too many intangibles. 5 years ago
I think my fear comes from not having a blueprint for parenthood. Sure there are fundamental things you do and don’t do to raise good kids. But I have a picture in my mind of how I want my children to turn out. And I’m not so sure I know how to get there from here. And I’ve been thinking about parenthood alot as if it’s a thing that IS going to happen. I think to prepare myself mentally. I’ve been talking to parents who have a healthy view of parenthood and getting some really good perspective. I’ve been staying away from those who have a really crappy outlook on parenthood. You know, those resentful people who blame all their problems on having kids. I was so afraid to turn out like that. Hence the needing to have a blueprint.
But I realize in all my worrying that what I lack in adequacy God will provide. I need to have faith that since He’s the Creator of all life then He will give John and I what we need to be good parents. Through reading, prayer, studying the bible, putting people in our lives who have raised godly kids, etc. 5 years ago
I’m 33 years old and in a wonderful relationship with a man 10 years my senior. We’ve both been married before and are now divorced. He has two children from his previous marriage – ages 11 and 17. I do not have any children. He likes that his children are older and that he has more freedom and is not sure he wants additional children. I have been ambivalent about having children for a while but am not ready to make that decision one way or the other yet. Lately, I have been feeling like I do want a child. If he was on board, I would have children. So now, I’m facing the dilemma of whether I stay in a relationship that I love with a man that I love and forfeit the opportunity to have a child or leave the relationship to try to find a partner to have a family with. 5 years ago
We’re talking about bringing another human being into this screwed up world… dont know if i would want to be responsible for that… but i Would like to have kids. Kids are cool. And i’ve pretty much decided that im never going to get to that point where im as financilly and emotionally secure as i would like to be before making the decision and it doesnt look like i’m going to find the perfect man for the job either. But time is running out. And if i dont make the decision soon, mother nature will make it for me. 5 years ago
I’ve decided I’m okay with it, a year after my original post. I’m not gung ho, pulling out the ovulation charts and whatnot. I think there’s a place for people who are neither against having babies nor vehemently pro-family. I’m going to let nature take its course knowing I’m now ready to handle it if it should happen. 5 years ago
I found parenthood accidently at the age of 20.
At 40 I have 2 daughters and 2 sons ages 19,14,11 and 6
My life probably seems a circus to most, but my children motivate me to be a better person. I strive to be patient, fun and to appreciate the beauty in the world around me. There have been times in my life that without them life would have had absolutely no meaning. I never really liked kids. I was never the neighborhood babysitter. Being a Mom is a role that just fits for me though. There are regrets I have in life, but my children are never one of them. They provide more stress and tears, but more joy and happiness then anything else in my world. It is a tough decision, especially to have more than just one, but the rewards are worth it. 5 years ago
Such a big decision. Some people have known all their lives that they want to make little people. Others have known that they definitely do not want critters. I sort of do but am reluctant to relinquish my do-anything-whenever-I-please lifestyle. Have to do some more self-discovery on this topic. Good thing is, husband is fairly certain he wants kids so at least it’s not both of us waffling. 6 years ago
My husband and I have finally made a decision and we’re not telling, so don’t ask. It is a SECRET!
:-) 6 years ago
but I know my husband wants to be a father. He would be a really good father and I don’t want to deprive him of the opportunity. I just don’t know if I’m ready (or will ever be ready.) Sometimes I think it would be a great experience when I see a great commercial with a sweet little baby, but there is just so much uncertainty. I don’t want to do it and fail at being a good parent. How do you measure your parental success? Are you a good parent if your kid turns out great? I know lots of people that were great parents and had kids turn out to be total ungrateful jerks. Plus I’m too much of a control freak and those kind of people make lousy, meddling, Everybody-loves-Raymond type mothers. 6 years ago