I don’t think I’ve cried enough. I’m just so sad about every thing to do with him. I texted him last night. I had a one-sided conversation with him. He tried texting back but I wouldn’t listen to him. I was a total b*. H deserved it after the way he treated me. I wasn’t even all that mean just rambling to distract my mind from the pain I was in. You see I had a migraine from hell last night. I lost feeling in half my body and I was afraid that if I fell asleep or started convulsing I wouldn’t wake up. I needed someone and no one could be bothered with me. So I had a one-sided conversation with the one person who wants nothing to do with me. I effectively pushed him away. The funny thing is I want him so close to me. Even now I’m not sure if I want to hit him or hug him. He probably just thinks I’m crazy and has removed me from his life completely now. Maybe I deserve being alone. Happiness has never really been my friend. Maybe he has forgotten that I was his friend to begin with. He treats me like an exgirlfriend but we never were. I think I should apologise for last night, but he should already know that I ramble when I’m in pain. This is so messed up! 21 months ago